We're not constitutional lawyers. Don't even play them on TV, so we may be missing something, but we don't really get this whole "Please don't wire tap us without warrants" thing the democrats are crying about. Look, we have to stay in Iraq so the terrorists don't follow us home, but occasionally one of the terrorists finds out where we are. Maybe they're out on vacation with the family and just stumble on us, or maybe they make a wrong turn at Gibraltar and...well...you know how guys hate to ask for directions.
The point is, even though we've all been very quiet and the president's plan to keep the porch light off and not answer the door after dark is mostly working, occasionally someone's going to sneeze, or a baby will cry and the terrorists will know we're home. So the president has to listen to all our phone calls in case Alice call Bernice across the street to tell them there's a terrorist on her porch and don't answer the door. And it's working too.
From 1993 to 2001, prosecutors in Manhattan convicted some three dozen terrorists through guilty pleas and in six major trials. Ha. And that was before 9/11 and warrantless wiretaps. Oh you really stepped in it on 9/11 Mr. Jihadi. You woke up a sleeping giant because we were throwing your Hummus eating behind in the slammer before the president started listening to everyone ordering pizza, now you might as well just get on the bus to the Government motel because there's a set of orange overalls in your immediate future.
Since the Sept. 11 attacks, the government’s track record has been decidedly spottier, and its failure to obtain a single conviction in its terrorism-financing prosecution of what was once the nation’s largest Islamic charity was another in a series of missteps and setbacks.
Yeah baby! How you like us now, jiotch? Things aren't quite so jihappy when you're on the business end of a 25 year reservation at...wait...What'd he say?
Some scholars and former prosecutors say the government should have known better than to bring some of its recent failed cases and that a lack of selectivity and judgment, along with a reliance on stale evidence and links to groups not at the core of the current threat, may be harming the effort to combat terrorism.
"Government should have known better..." Where have we heard that before?
From the Sept. 11 attacks to last July, the government started 108 material-support prosecutions and completed 62, according to an article by Robert M. Chesney, a law professor at Wake Forest University, juries convicted 9 defendants, 30 defendants pleaded guilty, and 11 pleaded guilty to other charges. There were eight acquittals and four dismissals. Eighteen were called on account of darkness and twelve were rescheduled as twi-night double headers.
Material-support cases are just a small fraction of what the Justice Department counts as terrorism prosecutions, and in the larger picture the government is not doing nearly as well. According to the Center on Law and Security at the New York University School of Law, the government has a 29 percent conviction rate in terrorism prosecutions overall, compared with 92 percent for felonies generally.
Oh, sure, it always looks bad when you count winning as "convictions."
Instead of trying to prove that the defendants knew they were supporting terrorists, William Neal, a juror said, prosecutors “danced around the wire transfers by showing us videos of little kids in bomb belts and people singing about Hamas, things that didn’t directly relate to the case.”
"But all those people were brown," responded a spokesperson for the Justice Department. "I mean, how much proof do they want?"
Civil liberties groups pointed to the collapse of a case against men once accused of being part of a terrorism sleeper cell in Detroit, to the combination of acquittals and deadlocks in the trials of a Saudi student in Idaho and a Palestinian professor in Florida and to the convictions of two men on relatively minor charges in February after a three-month terrorism trial. " On the other hand, this is about the best you can hope for when your team is all graduates of Regent University Law School," said one spokesperson.
Juries “are demanding strict proof” these days, said Thomas M. Melsheimer, a former federal prosecutor. "And that automatically puts the 'because he's brown' strategy at a disadvantage. Even if you do add the 'Plus he's not a christian' coda."
“I think the government won when it froze the assets and shut down the organization,” said Matthew D. Orwig, a lawyer in Dallas who was until recently United States attorney for the Eastern District of Texas. “Then it piled a loss on top of a win because it lost the prosecution, in an arguably superfluous action."
"Superfluous?" You mean like the war in Iraq?
Showing posts with label terrorism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label terrorism. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
SITE Sent You A Video!
You know, you have to hand it to president Bush. He's managed to start an unnecessary war, kill an iconic American city, wreck the treasury, severely mangle several popular and helpful domestic programs, shred the constitution, and ensure that most of the world will hate us for the foreseeable future. And he's still got over a year left to go! We know, you're thinking surely the guy must be running out of things he can screw up by now.
See, here's where everyone misses the president's greatness. They think he's the worst president ever, oops, we mean Worst. President. Ever. Most of the country thinks he's a talentless, bumbling idiot who wouldn't know a good decisions if it came up and bit him on the a...well, you get the picture.
We here in the marbled halls of IM central are not about surface manifestations though, oh no, far from it. This blog is dedicated to deep thought and cutting analysis. Well, when we're not busy draining our weng wengs. No, not that weng weng, that weng weng. Anyway, we've subjected the reign...erm...administration of this president to the scalpel's edge of our intellect and have determined that he is, in fact, a very talented individual. His competency is incompetency. That's right, president Bush is perhaps the most adept total screwup ever to spill chocolate milk in the lunch room at 1600 Pennsylvania Boulevard.
Want proof? Check it:
A small private intelligence company that monitors Islamic terrorist groups obtained a new Osama bin Laden video ahead of its official release last month, and around 10 a.m. on Sept. 7, it notified the Bush administration of its secret acquisition. It gave two senior officials access on the condition that the officials not reveal they had it until the al-Qaeda release. By midafternoon that day, the video and a transcript of its audio track had been leaked from within the Bush administration to Fox news and broadcast worldwide.
Less that five hours from top secret to Lou Dobbs people! And you say this guy can't get things done? No wonder the islamofascistcommieninjashadowwarriors are afraid of us. We are winning Teh War On Terra!!!1!!
The founder of the company, the SITE Intelligence Group, says this premature disclosure tipped al-Qaeda to a security breach and destroyed a years-long surveillance operation that the company has used to intercept and pass along secret messages, videos and advance warnings of suicide bombings from the terrorist group's communications network.
Oh, yeah. Well, there is that too.
"Techniques that took years to develop are now ineffective and worthless," said Rita Katz, the firm's 44-year-old founder.
"Well, in the president's defense, he never really paid much attention to intelligence reports anyway," responded Dana Perino, White House Press Secretart.
The precise source of the leak remains unknown. Government officials declined to be interviewed about the circumstances on the record, but they did not challenge Katz's version of events. "When you work in this administration you get used to people pointing out that you screwed up," said one aide to the president who asked not to be named. "It's just another day at the office for us."
They also said the incident had no effect on U.S. intelligence-gathering efforts and did not diminish the government's ability to anticipate attacks. "Nothing minus nothing is still nothing," said one White House aide.
Within minutes of Katz's e-mail to the White House, alerting them to the video, government-registered computers began downloading the video from SITE's server, according to a log of file transfers. The records show dozens of downloads over the next three hours from computers with addresses registered to defense and intelligence agencies. "We thought it was porn," said a spokesperson for Homeland Security."
While acknowledging that SITE had achieved success, the officials said U.S. agencies have their own sophisticated means of watching al-Qaeda on the Web. "We have individuals in the right places dealing with all these issues, across all 16 intelligence agencies," said Ross Feinstein, spokesman for the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. "But most of all we still have the magic eight ball," he added.
Al-Qaeda supporters, now alerted to the intrusion into their secret network, put up new obstacles that prevented SITE from gaining the kind of access it had obtained in the past, according to Katz. "It's a redirect to everythingbritney.com," she said.
See, here's where everyone misses the president's greatness. They think he's the worst president ever, oops, we mean Worst. President. Ever. Most of the country thinks he's a talentless, bumbling idiot who wouldn't know a good decisions if it came up and bit him on the a...well, you get the picture.
We here in the marbled halls of IM central are not about surface manifestations though, oh no, far from it. This blog is dedicated to deep thought and cutting analysis. Well, when we're not busy draining our weng wengs. No, not that weng weng, that weng weng. Anyway, we've subjected the reign...erm...administration of this president to the scalpel's edge of our intellect and have determined that he is, in fact, a very talented individual. His competency is incompetency. That's right, president Bush is perhaps the most adept total screwup ever to spill chocolate milk in the lunch room at 1600 Pennsylvania Boulevard.
Want proof? Check it:
A small private intelligence company that monitors Islamic terrorist groups obtained a new Osama bin Laden video ahead of its official release last month, and around 10 a.m. on Sept. 7, it notified the Bush administration of its secret acquisition. It gave two senior officials access on the condition that the officials not reveal they had it until the al-Qaeda release. By midafternoon that day, the video and a transcript of its audio track had been leaked from within the Bush administration to Fox news and broadcast worldwide.
Less that five hours from top secret to Lou Dobbs people! And you say this guy can't get things done? No wonder the islamofascistcommieninjashadowwarriors are afraid of us. We are winning Teh War On Terra!!!1!!
The founder of the company, the SITE Intelligence Group, says this premature disclosure tipped al-Qaeda to a security breach and destroyed a years-long surveillance operation that the company has used to intercept and pass along secret messages, videos and advance warnings of suicide bombings from the terrorist group's communications network.
Oh, yeah. Well, there is that too.
"Techniques that took years to develop are now ineffective and worthless," said Rita Katz, the firm's 44-year-old founder.
"Well, in the president's defense, he never really paid much attention to intelligence reports anyway," responded Dana Perino, White House Press Secretart.
The precise source of the leak remains unknown. Government officials declined to be interviewed about the circumstances on the record, but they did not challenge Katz's version of events. "When you work in this administration you get used to people pointing out that you screwed up," said one aide to the president who asked not to be named. "It's just another day at the office for us."
They also said the incident had no effect on U.S. intelligence-gathering efforts and did not diminish the government's ability to anticipate attacks. "Nothing minus nothing is still nothing," said one White House aide.
Within minutes of Katz's e-mail to the White House, alerting them to the video, government-registered computers began downloading the video from SITE's server, according to a log of file transfers. The records show dozens of downloads over the next three hours from computers with addresses registered to defense and intelligence agencies. "We thought it was porn," said a spokesperson for Homeland Security."
While acknowledging that SITE had achieved success, the officials said U.S. agencies have their own sophisticated means of watching al-Qaeda on the Web. "We have individuals in the right places dealing with all these issues, across all 16 intelligence agencies," said Ross Feinstein, spokesman for the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. "But most of all we still have the magic eight ball," he added.
Al-Qaeda supporters, now alerted to the intrusion into their secret network, put up new obstacles that prevented SITE from gaining the kind of access it had obtained in the past, according to Katz. "It's a redirect to everythingbritney.com," she said.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
On The Bright Side, If You Stick The Report In Your Shirt It Will Probably Stop A Bullet
We're coming to you today from the Department of Mastery of the Stunningly Obvious here in the marbled halls of IM Central. DMSO is a wholly owed subsidiary of the Well, Duh! Corporation and is partially funded by a grant from the Foundation for the Promulgation of Stupid Pronouncements.
But before we get on to today's festivities, a little bit of full disclosure. Regular readers of this blog can attest to the fact that some people do, in actuality lead lives of quiet desperation...er...we mean regular readers know that this blog has never had anything intelligent to say, has never shown even the slightest scintilla of analytical acumen, and has never been even in the same zip code with any value that might even remotely be construed as being socially redeeming. Do we exaggerate? Do you not concur? Don't make us link to previous posts to make our point.
Anyway, that brings us to the second reason we cast our desultory gaze in the particular direction of this story and that is, it occurs to us with the specific skill set described above, we should be report writers for the government. Or journalists.
The terrorist network Al-Qaida will likely leverage its contacts and capabilities in Iraq to mount an attack on U.S. soil, according to a new National Intelligence Estimate on threats to the United States.
Gee. Ya think?
"See, it's like this," explained White House Press Secretary Tony Snowjob. "When the Saudi Arabians attacked us on 9/11, we responded by blowing up Afghanistan and Iraq. Our analysis suggests that this has been somewhat problematic for the Arab people."
The report makes clear that al-Qaida in Iraq, which has not yet posed a direct threat to U.S. soil, could become a problem here. "Now, what that means is that as long as they're in Iraq, they'll continue blowing up stuff in Iraq, but if they came here, they would be obliged, vis-a-vis their geographic location, to blow up our stuff," Snowjob explained. "It's all highly technical."
"Of note," the analysts said, "we assess that al-Qaida will probably seek to leverage the contacts and capabilities of al-Qaida in Iraq (AQI), its most visible and capable affiliate and the only one known to have expressed a desire to attack the homeland." When asked how it was determined that al-Qaida in Iraq was the only terrorist group who had "expressed a desire" to attack the United States a spokesperson responded that they were the only ones "who returned the survey."
The analysts also found that al-Qaida's association with its Iraqi affiliate helps the group to energize the broader Sunni Muslim extremist community, raise resources and recruit and indoctrinate operatives. "We're trying to adapt some of what we've learned about how they've increased recruiting to our own difficulties recruiting soldiers at home, but so far it doesn't look like we're going to be invaded by a foreign army and occupied anytime soon," said one official familiar with the report.
"We're trying to remind people is that this is a real threat. This is not an attempt to divert. As a matter of fact ... we would much rather — one of the things we'd like to do is call attention to the successes in the field" in Iraq, Snowjob said. "Danged if we can find one though."
House Republican leader Representative John Boehner of Ohio said the report confirms gains made by Bush and blamed Democrats for being too soft on terrorism. "Look, if the democrats had been in charge we wouldn't even be in Iraq right now. Then where would we be?"
Al-Qaida has been able to restore key capabilities it would need to launch an attack on U.S. soil: a safe haven in Pakistan's tribal areas, operational lieutenants and senior leaders. U.S. officials have warned publicly that a deal between the Pakistani government and tribal leaders allowed al-Qaida to plot and train more freely in parts of western Pakistan for the last 10 months. "In other words, the surge is working," Snowjob added.
Lebanese Hezbollah, a Shiite Muslim extremist group that has conducted anti-American attacks overseas, may be more likely to consider attacking here, especially if it believes the United States is directly threatening the group or its main sponsor, Iran. When asked if that would cause president Bush to reconsider military action against Iran Snowjob replied that he wasn't sure if the president will read the report. "He doesn't like to clutter up his thought processes, and besides there aren't many pictures."
The high-level estimate notes that the spread of radical ideas, especially on the Internet, growing anti-U.S. rhetoric and increasing numbers of radical cells throughout Western countries indicate the violent segments of the Muslim populations is expanding. "Allow me to repeat, "Snowjob said. "The surge is working."
But before we get on to today's festivities, a little bit of full disclosure. Regular readers of this blog can attest to the fact that some people do, in actuality lead lives of quiet desperation...er...we mean regular readers know that this blog has never had anything intelligent to say, has never shown even the slightest scintilla of analytical acumen, and has never been even in the same zip code with any value that might even remotely be construed as being socially redeeming. Do we exaggerate? Do you not concur? Don't make us link to previous posts to make our point.
Anyway, that brings us to the second reason we cast our desultory gaze in the particular direction of this story and that is, it occurs to us with the specific skill set described above, we should be report writers for the government. Or journalists.
The terrorist network Al-Qaida will likely leverage its contacts and capabilities in Iraq to mount an attack on U.S. soil, according to a new National Intelligence Estimate on threats to the United States.
Gee. Ya think?
"See, it's like this," explained White House Press Secretary Tony Snowjob. "When the Saudi Arabians attacked us on 9/11, we responded by blowing up Afghanistan and Iraq. Our analysis suggests that this has been somewhat problematic for the Arab people."
The report makes clear that al-Qaida in Iraq, which has not yet posed a direct threat to U.S. soil, could become a problem here. "Now, what that means is that as long as they're in Iraq, they'll continue blowing up stuff in Iraq, but if they came here, they would be obliged, vis-a-vis their geographic location, to blow up our stuff," Snowjob explained. "It's all highly technical."
"Of note," the analysts said, "we assess that al-Qaida will probably seek to leverage the contacts and capabilities of al-Qaida in Iraq (AQI), its most visible and capable affiliate and the only one known to have expressed a desire to attack the homeland." When asked how it was determined that al-Qaida in Iraq was the only terrorist group who had "expressed a desire" to attack the United States a spokesperson responded that they were the only ones "who returned the survey."
The analysts also found that al-Qaida's association with its Iraqi affiliate helps the group to energize the broader Sunni Muslim extremist community, raise resources and recruit and indoctrinate operatives. "We're trying to adapt some of what we've learned about how they've increased recruiting to our own difficulties recruiting soldiers at home, but so far it doesn't look like we're going to be invaded by a foreign army and occupied anytime soon," said one official familiar with the report.
"We're trying to remind people is that this is a real threat. This is not an attempt to divert. As a matter of fact ... we would much rather — one of the things we'd like to do is call attention to the successes in the field" in Iraq, Snowjob said. "Danged if we can find one though."
House Republican leader Representative John Boehner of Ohio said the report confirms gains made by Bush and blamed Democrats for being too soft on terrorism. "Look, if the democrats had been in charge we wouldn't even be in Iraq right now. Then where would we be?"
Al-Qaida has been able to restore key capabilities it would need to launch an attack on U.S. soil: a safe haven in Pakistan's tribal areas, operational lieutenants and senior leaders. U.S. officials have warned publicly that a deal between the Pakistani government and tribal leaders allowed al-Qaida to plot and train more freely in parts of western Pakistan for the last 10 months. "In other words, the surge is working," Snowjob added.
Lebanese Hezbollah, a Shiite Muslim extremist group that has conducted anti-American attacks overseas, may be more likely to consider attacking here, especially if it believes the United States is directly threatening the group or its main sponsor, Iran. When asked if that would cause president Bush to reconsider military action against Iran Snowjob replied that he wasn't sure if the president will read the report. "He doesn't like to clutter up his thought processes, and besides there aren't many pictures."
The high-level estimate notes that the spread of radical ideas, especially on the Internet, growing anti-U.S. rhetoric and increasing numbers of radical cells throughout Western countries indicate the violent segments of the Muslim populations is expanding. "Allow me to repeat, "Snowjob said. "The surge is working."
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Oh, We Have To Do This Legally. Well, Why Didn't You Say So In The First Place?
OK, this is getting serious. We really have to do something about activist judges in this country. We mean, how is the U.S. going to go about ridding the world of evil doers if we have to constantly be starting over because we forgot one little thing, like finding a law they broke. Isn't it enough that they're brown?
The US government defended its effort to try Guantanamo Bay "war on terror" detainees by military commission despite judges throwing out two early cases. "We don't agree with the ruling," White House spokesman Tony Fratto told reporters. "I told that to the judge and he said the law is more important than my opinion. The nerve!"
"The system is taking great care to be within the letter of the law," he added. "Which, as you know is new and uncharted territory for this administration."
His comments came after cases against Toronto native Omar Ahmed Khadr, 20, and Osama bin Laden's ex-driver Salim Ahmed Hamdan were thrown out by two judges. "Two judges," Fratto said. "Two judges. It wasn't enough that one judge threw the cases out, but another had to come along and join him. Now that's just piling on."
In both cases, the judges found they had no jurisdiction to proceed with military commission trials, as neither Khadr nor Hamdan had been classified as an "unlawful enemy combatant" as required by a recent US law. "Details, details, details," Fratto said.
Fratto maintained that "in no way do those decisions affect the appropriateness of the military commission system," adding the Defense Department had asked for time to study the rulings to consider an appeal. "Well, actually we're considering getting some different judges. We've asked the folks at the Department of Justice to help us find the right people."
So far only three people have faced hearings at Guantanamo Bay since the Military Commissions Act (MCA) was rushed through Congress in September after the US government's old procedure was overturned by the Supreme Court. "Hey, three out of 517 isn't bad if you consider most of the lawyers have been pulled off the case to defend Tom DeLay."
The only Guantanamo trial to proceed was that of 31-year-old "Australian Taliban" David Hicks, jailed for nine months in March under a plea bargain deal. "That's right evil doers," Fratto said. You mess with America and you'll be doing hard time. Libby gets 30 months, you get nine. What do you think...wait. Is that right?"
"This entire exercise serves as an indictment of US law and policy regarding the detention and trial of foreign nationals in Guantanamo and elsewhere," said Amnesty International's observer Jumana Musa. "Yeah, but it keeps the mouth breather vote in line," Fratto responded. "Did I say that out loud?"
The ruling triggered calls for the release of Khadr, who was just 15 when captured in Afghanistan. "If we lose the appeal, our fall back position is to charge him with being out after curfew," Fratto said.
The US government defended its effort to try Guantanamo Bay "war on terror" detainees by military commission despite judges throwing out two early cases. "We don't agree with the ruling," White House spokesman Tony Fratto told reporters. "I told that to the judge and he said the law is more important than my opinion. The nerve!"
"The system is taking great care to be within the letter of the law," he added. "Which, as you know is new and uncharted territory for this administration."
His comments came after cases against Toronto native Omar Ahmed Khadr, 20, and Osama bin Laden's ex-driver Salim Ahmed Hamdan were thrown out by two judges. "Two judges," Fratto said. "Two judges. It wasn't enough that one judge threw the cases out, but another had to come along and join him. Now that's just piling on."
In both cases, the judges found they had no jurisdiction to proceed with military commission trials, as neither Khadr nor Hamdan had been classified as an "unlawful enemy combatant" as required by a recent US law. "Details, details, details," Fratto said.
Fratto maintained that "in no way do those decisions affect the appropriateness of the military commission system," adding the Defense Department had asked for time to study the rulings to consider an appeal. "Well, actually we're considering getting some different judges. We've asked the folks at the Department of Justice to help us find the right people."
So far only three people have faced hearings at Guantanamo Bay since the Military Commissions Act (MCA) was rushed through Congress in September after the US government's old procedure was overturned by the Supreme Court. "Hey, three out of 517 isn't bad if you consider most of the lawyers have been pulled off the case to defend Tom DeLay."
The only Guantanamo trial to proceed was that of 31-year-old "Australian Taliban" David Hicks, jailed for nine months in March under a plea bargain deal. "That's right evil doers," Fratto said. You mess with America and you'll be doing hard time. Libby gets 30 months, you get nine. What do you think...wait. Is that right?"
"This entire exercise serves as an indictment of US law and policy regarding the detention and trial of foreign nationals in Guantanamo and elsewhere," said Amnesty International's observer Jumana Musa. "Yeah, but it keeps the mouth breather vote in line," Fratto responded. "Did I say that out loud?"
The ruling triggered calls for the release of Khadr, who was just 15 when captured in Afghanistan. "If we lose the appeal, our fall back position is to charge him with being out after curfew," Fratto said.
Monday, June 04, 2007
I Will Kill Your Spirit With My Bic Of Doom
OK, here's a conundrum for you. Are we catching only the terrorists who are idiots because that's the only ones we can find, or are we catching only the terrorists who are idiots because that's the best they got?
We draw your attention to this week's episode of Larry, Moe, Curly and Shemp go jihad:
Four men were charged yesterday with plotting to blow up fuel tanks, terminal buildings and the web of fuel lines running beneath Kennedy International Airport. "We had these guys under surveillance for quite a period of time," said Mark J. Mershon, the assistant director in charge of the FBI office in New York. "Well, since right after we saw a posting on Missed Connections that said 'You were the tall swarthy gentleman with a deep hatred of America. I was wearing the Moqtada Rules T shirt. Did we have a moment?'"
Oil industry experts said safety shut-off valves would almost assuredly have prevented an exploding airport fuel tank from igniting all or even part of the network. "See the thing is, we don't want them to explode," said a spokesperson for the company that manages the pipeline and storage facility. "That's why we design them to do things like take lightening strikes, earth quakes, hurricanes, stuff like that."
But officials said the four men determined to carry out their attack, having conducted “precise and extensive” surveillance of the airport using photographs, video, the recollections of Russell Defreitas, who had worked as a cargo handler at JFK, and satellite images downloaded from Google Earth. "They planned to actually go out to the airport and look around as soon as they saved up enough for cab fare," said Mershon.
“The enforcement action we are announcing today was taken to prevent a terrorist plot from maturing into a terrorist act,” Mr. Mershon said. "We figure they were only days away from realizing they could ride the bus to JFK."
Mershon said the men had also traveled repeatedly to Guyana and Trinidad in recent months, seeking the blessing and financial backing of an extremist Muslim group based in Trinidad and Tobago called Jamaat al-Muslimeen. "They were given coupons good for free drinks with the purchase of a Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich, and an undisclosed number of disposable Bic lighters."
One law enforcement official played down Mr. Defreitas’s ability to carry out an attack, calling him “a sad sack” and “not a Grade A terrorist.” Comparing the case with the plot in which a group of men were arrested last month on charges of planning to attack soldiers at Fort Dix in New Jersey. "These guys need to quit watching A Team reruns and get out more," the official said.
“They didn’t have the money and they didn’t have the bombs,” the official said of the suspects, “but if we let it go it could have gotten there; they could have won the Lotto; they could have gotten a scholarship to Terrorist University; maybe even an athletic scholarship which would have made them eligible for special tutorial assistance. I don't even want to think about what might have happened if they ever got out of explosive training with all their fingers."
We draw your attention to this week's episode of Larry, Moe, Curly and Shemp go jihad:
Four men were charged yesterday with plotting to blow up fuel tanks, terminal buildings and the web of fuel lines running beneath Kennedy International Airport. "We had these guys under surveillance for quite a period of time," said Mark J. Mershon, the assistant director in charge of the FBI office in New York. "Well, since right after we saw a posting on Missed Connections that said 'You were the tall swarthy gentleman with a deep hatred of America. I was wearing the Moqtada Rules T shirt. Did we have a moment?'"
Oil industry experts said safety shut-off valves would almost assuredly have prevented an exploding airport fuel tank from igniting all or even part of the network. "See the thing is, we don't want them to explode," said a spokesperson for the company that manages the pipeline and storage facility. "That's why we design them to do things like take lightening strikes, earth quakes, hurricanes, stuff like that."
But officials said the four men determined to carry out their attack, having conducted “precise and extensive” surveillance of the airport using photographs, video, the recollections of Russell Defreitas, who had worked as a cargo handler at JFK, and satellite images downloaded from Google Earth. "They planned to actually go out to the airport and look around as soon as they saved up enough for cab fare," said Mershon.
“The enforcement action we are announcing today was taken to prevent a terrorist plot from maturing into a terrorist act,” Mr. Mershon said. "We figure they were only days away from realizing they could ride the bus to JFK."
Mershon said the men had also traveled repeatedly to Guyana and Trinidad in recent months, seeking the blessing and financial backing of an extremist Muslim group based in Trinidad and Tobago called Jamaat al-Muslimeen. "They were given coupons good for free drinks with the purchase of a Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich, and an undisclosed number of disposable Bic lighters."
One law enforcement official played down Mr. Defreitas’s ability to carry out an attack, calling him “a sad sack” and “not a Grade A terrorist.” Comparing the case with the plot in which a group of men were arrested last month on charges of planning to attack soldiers at Fort Dix in New Jersey. "These guys need to quit watching A Team reruns and get out more," the official said.
“They didn’t have the money and they didn’t have the bombs,” the official said of the suspects, “but if we let it go it could have gotten there; they could have won the Lotto; they could have gotten a scholarship to Terrorist University; maybe even an athletic scholarship which would have made them eligible for special tutorial assistance. I don't even want to think about what might have happened if they ever got out of explosive training with all their fingers."
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Well, If It Doesn't Reduce Cross Border Attacks, At Least It Will Keep The Rabbits Out Of The Garden
Oh yeah baby! We got your safe haven right here Mr. Terroist Osama bin Hiding. What do you think of the coalition of the willing now? The coalition willing to open up a super size can o' whupass on your goat eating behind.
Pakistan has fenced 20 km (12 miles) of its 2,500 km (1,500 mile) long and porous border with Afghanistan to prevent incursions by militants, the army said. "This should pretty much cripple Al Qaeda world wide," said a representative of the company that built the fence between Israeli and Palestinian neighborhoods. "That is if It works as well for them as it has for us."
Umm...Excuse us. Did you say 12 of 1500 miles?
Pakistan, whom the Bush administration is trying to convince everyone is an important ally in the U.S.-led war on terrorism, decided to fence and mine parts of its western border after accusations from U.S. and Afghan officials that the Taliban militants were launching attacks from sanctuaries in Pakistan. "Well look, every so often the Crusaders show up and whine about how little we're doing to help in their world wide war of aggression against our Islamic brothers," said one Pakistani official who asked not to be named. "So we put on a little, what do you Americans call it? Goat and donkey show?"
Major-General Waheed Arshad said the plan involved fencing a 35-km stretch in the northwestern tribal belt bordering Afghanistan in the first phase. "The second phase is to wait until the Americans aren't looking, then tear the first phase down."
Last month, Pakistani and Afghan troops clashed on the border in the South Waziristan region after Kabul said its forces tore down a Pakistani fence. "Oh look, phase two has started already," Arshad said.
Afghanistan opposes fencing because of a long-standing territorial dispute, saying it would penalize Pashtun tribal communities living on both sides of the frontier. "A lot of the Taliban work in Afghanistan, but live in Pakistan," said an Afghan official. "How would you like it if you worked in New York, but lived in White Plains and they closed the Tappan Zee bridge? Besides, have you seen the fence? We're definitely not talking Berlin Wall here."
Pakistan has fenced 20 km (12 miles) of its 2,500 km (1,500 mile) long and porous border with Afghanistan to prevent incursions by militants, the army said. "This should pretty much cripple Al Qaeda world wide," said a representative of the company that built the fence between Israeli and Palestinian neighborhoods. "That is if It works as well for them as it has for us."
Umm...Excuse us. Did you say 12 of 1500 miles?
Pakistan, whom the Bush administration is trying to convince everyone is an important ally in the U.S.-led war on terrorism, decided to fence and mine parts of its western border after accusations from U.S. and Afghan officials that the Taliban militants were launching attacks from sanctuaries in Pakistan. "Well look, every so often the Crusaders show up and whine about how little we're doing to help in their world wide war of aggression against our Islamic brothers," said one Pakistani official who asked not to be named. "So we put on a little, what do you Americans call it? Goat and donkey show?"
Major-General Waheed Arshad said the plan involved fencing a 35-km stretch in the northwestern tribal belt bordering Afghanistan in the first phase. "The second phase is to wait until the Americans aren't looking, then tear the first phase down."
Last month, Pakistani and Afghan troops clashed on the border in the South Waziristan region after Kabul said its forces tore down a Pakistani fence. "Oh look, phase two has started already," Arshad said.
Afghanistan opposes fencing because of a long-standing territorial dispute, saying it would penalize Pashtun tribal communities living on both sides of the frontier. "A lot of the Taliban work in Afghanistan, but live in Pakistan," said an Afghan official. "How would you like it if you worked in New York, but lived in White Plains and they closed the Tappan Zee bridge? Besides, have you seen the fence? We're definitely not talking Berlin Wall here."
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
I Will Now Eliminate Your Tanks With My Fearful Gaze Of Death
OK, so we're fighting the terrorists in Iraq so we don't have to fight them here. Apparently, though a group of terrorists set off to find a western route to China and ended up here because:
Six Islamic militants from Yugoslavia and the Middle East were arrested on charges of plotting to attack the Fort Dix Army post and "kill as many soldiers as possible," authorities said.
Yeah. Six guys were planning to attack the upwards of 15,000 troops that train on the 31,000 acre facility.
Now, here's the scary part: These guys obviously aren't the valedictorians of their class at the University of Terrorism, and if they can find America, then president Bush's plan to turn out all the lights and ask everyone to be very very quiet probably doesn't have much of a chance.
But back to the Jihadi A Team:
In conversations secretly recorded by an FBI informant over the past year, the men talked about killing in the name of Allah and attacking U.S. warships that might dock in Philadelphia. "One of the suspects was planning to go down to the shore as a ship passed, and use a magnet to draw it into the shallow water," said a spokesperson for the FBI. "Once the ship was beached in the shallows, the other five were going to board it and kill the crew with their new fighting technique, which is unstoppable. In their defense though, they did have a really big magnet."
One suspect reportedly spoke of using rocket-propelled grenades to kill at least 100 soldiers at a time, according to court documents. "He'd planned to get the troops into tight groups by pretending to be a photographer," said an FBI official. "It was really quite diabolical except they couldn't find an RPG launcher that looked like a camera."
"If you want to do anything here, there is Fort Dix and I don't want to exaggerate, and I assure you that you can hit an American base very easily," suspect Mohamad Ibrahim Shnewer said in one conversation secretly recorded by a government informant, according to the criminal complaint. "And with my cloak of invisibility I will be unstoppable."
It doesn't matter to me whether I get locked up, arrested or get taken away," a suspect identified as Serdar Tatar said in another recorded conversation. "Or I die, it doesn't matter. I'm doing it in the name of Allah. Well, him and the 72 virgins. You know, I've been to every singles bar in the tri state region and what have I got? What do you Americans say? Bupkus. I'm a desperate man."
White House spokesman Tony Snowjob said Tuesday there is "no direct evidence" that the men had ties to international terrorism. "But that doesn't mean we aren't going to use this to try and scare the crap out of you guys," he continued.
The FBI was tipped off when a shopkeeper alerted agents about a "disturbing" video he had been asked to copy onto a DVD, according to court documents. The video showed 10 men in their early 20s "shooting assault weapons at a firing range," the complaint said. "That turned out to be an NRA promotional video," said an FBI agent familiar with the case. "What really tipped us off was the bumper sticker on Shnewer's pick up truck that said 'Ask Me About My Jihad.'"
U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie said one of the suspects worked at Super Mario's Pizza in nearby Cookstown and delivered pizzas to the base. "Several soldiers had been identified as poor tippers and we found photographs of them with devil's horns and mustaches drawn in at the suspect's apartment."
"What concerns us is, obviously, they began conducting surveillance and weapons training in the woods and were discussing killing large numbers of people," said Justice Department spokesman Dean Boyd. "But then we thought, wait, are these terrorists, or Minutemen?
A law enforcement official, speaking on condition of anonymity because documents in the case remain sealed, said the attack was stopped in the planning stages. "And a lucky thing for them too," the official explained. "Now they'll just go to jail instead of having their body parts scattered all over the state."
The description of the suspects as "Islamic militants" renewed fears in New Jersey's Muslim community. "If these people did something, then they deserve to be punished to the fullest extent of the law," said Sohail Mohammed, a lawyer. "But can't we describe them in a way that is more accurate? Freaking idiots comes to mind."
Six Islamic militants from Yugoslavia and the Middle East were arrested on charges of plotting to attack the Fort Dix Army post and "kill as many soldiers as possible," authorities said.
Yeah. Six guys were planning to attack the upwards of 15,000 troops that train on the 31,000 acre facility.
Now, here's the scary part: These guys obviously aren't the valedictorians of their class at the University of Terrorism, and if they can find America, then president Bush's plan to turn out all the lights and ask everyone to be very very quiet probably doesn't have much of a chance.
But back to the Jihadi A Team:
In conversations secretly recorded by an FBI informant over the past year, the men talked about killing in the name of Allah and attacking U.S. warships that might dock in Philadelphia. "One of the suspects was planning to go down to the shore as a ship passed, and use a magnet to draw it into the shallow water," said a spokesperson for the FBI. "Once the ship was beached in the shallows, the other five were going to board it and kill the crew with their new fighting technique, which is unstoppable. In their defense though, they did have a really big magnet."
One suspect reportedly spoke of using rocket-propelled grenades to kill at least 100 soldiers at a time, according to court documents. "He'd planned to get the troops into tight groups by pretending to be a photographer," said an FBI official. "It was really quite diabolical except they couldn't find an RPG launcher that looked like a camera."
"If you want to do anything here, there is Fort Dix and I don't want to exaggerate, and I assure you that you can hit an American base very easily," suspect Mohamad Ibrahim Shnewer said in one conversation secretly recorded by a government informant, according to the criminal complaint. "And with my cloak of invisibility I will be unstoppable."
It doesn't matter to me whether I get locked up, arrested or get taken away," a suspect identified as Serdar Tatar said in another recorded conversation. "Or I die, it doesn't matter. I'm doing it in the name of Allah. Well, him and the 72 virgins. You know, I've been to every singles bar in the tri state region and what have I got? What do you Americans say? Bupkus. I'm a desperate man."
White House spokesman Tony Snowjob said Tuesday there is "no direct evidence" that the men had ties to international terrorism. "But that doesn't mean we aren't going to use this to try and scare the crap out of you guys," he continued.
The FBI was tipped off when a shopkeeper alerted agents about a "disturbing" video he had been asked to copy onto a DVD, according to court documents. The video showed 10 men in their early 20s "shooting assault weapons at a firing range," the complaint said. "That turned out to be an NRA promotional video," said an FBI agent familiar with the case. "What really tipped us off was the bumper sticker on Shnewer's pick up truck that said 'Ask Me About My Jihad.'"
U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie said one of the suspects worked at Super Mario's Pizza in nearby Cookstown and delivered pizzas to the base. "Several soldiers had been identified as poor tippers and we found photographs of them with devil's horns and mustaches drawn in at the suspect's apartment."
"What concerns us is, obviously, they began conducting surveillance and weapons training in the woods and were discussing killing large numbers of people," said Justice Department spokesman Dean Boyd. "But then we thought, wait, are these terrorists, or Minutemen?
A law enforcement official, speaking on condition of anonymity because documents in the case remain sealed, said the attack was stopped in the planning stages. "And a lucky thing for them too," the official explained. "Now they'll just go to jail instead of having their body parts scattered all over the state."
The description of the suspects as "Islamic militants" renewed fears in New Jersey's Muslim community. "If these people did something, then they deserve to be punished to the fullest extent of the law," said Sohail Mohammed, a lawyer. "But can't we describe them in a way that is more accurate? Freaking idiots comes to mind."
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
And Tom DeLay Works For CTU
Boy, for being stupid, the republicans are really smart. Or maybe they care more about money, than national security. Or maybe they care so much about national security that they're willing to put the reputation of the party at risk to con the terrorists into giving their money away.
Or maybe we're just confused.
Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari, 53, of Ardsley, N.Y., pleaded not guilty in U.S. District Court in Manhattan to an indictment accusing him of terrorism financing, material support of terrorism and other charges. Alishtari gave $15,500 to the National Republican Campaign Committee between 2002 and 2004, according to Federal Election Commission records. That amount includes $13,000 in 2003, a year when he claims to have been named NRCC New York State Businessman of the Year.
"Hey, just because you're a terrorists doesn't mean you can't be a good businessman," said a spokesperson for the NRCC. "How do you think bin Laden got all his money, the lotto? I don't think so."
Alishtari also claims to be a lifetime member of the National Republican Senate Committee's Inner Circle, which the NRCC describes as "an impressive cross-section of American society – community leaders, business executives, entrepreneurs, retirees, and sports and entertainment celebrities, terrorists and terrorist sympathizers – all of whom have a lot of money."
But... Is that THE WHOLE STORY???
The NRCC "Businessperson of the Year" fund raising campaign, which gave such "awards" to at least 1,900 GOP donors, has been derided as a telemarketing scam by political watchdogs.
A scam? A scam THAT CATCHES TERRORISTS!!!!1! And here's the beauty part. NRCC gets to keep the money. Oh, the irony!! Using the ill gotten gains of the islamocommiefascistninjashadowwarriors to support the party of God, America, Family, Straights, Womb babies, brain dead women and G.W. Bush. Not available in all areas, some restrictions apply, void where prohibited.
The online list also claims Alishtari was appointed to the president's "USNRCC White House Business Advisory Group." Except, THERE IS NO BUSINESS ADVISORY GROUP you terrorist scum! Plus NRCC gets to keep the money.
The indictment said Alishtari tried to support terrorists between June and December by accepting an unspecified amount of money to transfer $152,000 that he believed was being sent to Pakistan and Afghanistan to support an Afghanistan terrorist training camp. "We're only sorry we didn't get all his money," said the NRCC spokesperson. Maybe with a few more bucks to spend we'd have held on to the Senate. Did I mention we get to keep the money?"
When asked about regular Americans who had also been caught up in the republican scam the spokesperson responded that NRCC would keep their money as well, "because freedom isn't free."
Or maybe we're just confused.
Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari, 53, of Ardsley, N.Y., pleaded not guilty in U.S. District Court in Manhattan to an indictment accusing him of terrorism financing, material support of terrorism and other charges. Alishtari gave $15,500 to the National Republican Campaign Committee between 2002 and 2004, according to Federal Election Commission records. That amount includes $13,000 in 2003, a year when he claims to have been named NRCC New York State Businessman of the Year.
"Hey, just because you're a terrorists doesn't mean you can't be a good businessman," said a spokesperson for the NRCC. "How do you think bin Laden got all his money, the lotto? I don't think so."
Alishtari also claims to be a lifetime member of the National Republican Senate Committee's Inner Circle, which the NRCC describes as "an impressive cross-section of American society – community leaders, business executives, entrepreneurs, retirees, and sports and entertainment celebrities, terrorists and terrorist sympathizers – all of whom have a lot of money."
But...
The NRCC "Businessperson of the Year" fund raising campaign, which gave such "awards" to at least 1,900 GOP donors, has been derided as a telemarketing scam by political watchdogs.
A scam? A scam THAT CATCHES TERRORISTS!!!!1! And here's the beauty part. NRCC gets to keep the money. Oh, the irony!! Using the ill gotten gains of the islamocommiefascistninjashadowwarriors to support the party of God, America, Family, Straights, Womb babies, brain dead women and G.W. Bush. Not available in all areas, some restrictions apply, void where prohibited.
The online list also claims Alishtari was appointed to the president's "USNRCC White House Business Advisory Group." Except, THERE IS NO BUSINESS ADVISORY GROUP you terrorist scum! Plus NRCC gets to keep the money.
The indictment said Alishtari tried to support terrorists between June and December by accepting an unspecified amount of money to transfer $152,000 that he believed was being sent to Pakistan and Afghanistan to support an Afghanistan terrorist training camp. "We're only sorry we didn't get all his money," said the NRCC spokesperson. Maybe with a few more bucks to spend we'd have held on to the Senate. Did I mention we get to keep the money?"
When asked about regular Americans who had also been caught up in the republican scam the spokesperson responded that NRCC would keep their money as well, "because freedom isn't free."
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