Friday, October 28, 2011

Friday Hound Blogging

This video was too good to pass up. Sorry, they wouldn't let us embed it, but here's a related radio interview Danny and his human did (Danny's the quiet one):

Rescued as a stray in Ireland, Danny and his owner Tony Nevett travel from their home in Northamptonshire to primary schools around the UK. Children then read to Danny to improve their self-confidence and ability.

So, Danny's job is to lie around while kids read stories to him, then have a biscuit. What's that you say  JD? Where do you go to sign up?

JD is a three year old boy who came to us from Florida where he only raced 14 times. The comment on his last races was "collided 1st turn" which probably means he was injured and no longer suitable to suck a buck off of, so the overlords dumped him, thankfully into an adoption program. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

BREAKING: Pope Narrowly Avoids Jew Cooties

In what may turn out to be one of the closest calls of his papacy, Pope Benedict ex vee eye narrowly avoided exposure to crazy rays from members of the whacky pack. You know, those churches that aren't really churches because they lack bingo, and you could search through their records all you want and there'll be nary an apostle nor a disciple in the lot.
Pope Benedict XVI has invited Jews, Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims to a pilgrimage to the Umbrian hilltop town of Assisi where 25 years ago Pope John Paul II, the Dalai Lama and others spent the day praying for peace amid the Cold War.
 Yeah, well 25 years ago we didn't know how AIDS was transmitted either so we were still letting the homos touch stuff. A lot has changed since Bene got us right with the lord.
Benedict on Wednesday held a pre-trip prayer service for the Catholic faithful at the Vatican, since Thursday's Assisi event — unlike the 1986 edition — won't involve any communal prayers among the different religious leaders.
 Right. Come on, we all know who god's number one posse is. Why you want to put all that static in the channel by letting these holy wannabes talk over PopeMasta B?
Then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger didn't attend the 1986 event and disapproved of members of different faiths praying in the presence of one another.
Hey, would you take a bath with your sister? Would you  eat lunch down at the homeless shelter? Would you get naked before altar boy interviews ? OK forget that last one, the point is all your Jesus are belong to us.
The 25th anniversary edition won't involve any communal prayer: participants can pray individually, silently in rooms assigned them.
"We're particularly insistent on that 'silent' part," said a spokesman for the vatican office of Hatin' On The Poseurs. "Have you heard the racket when them Rabbis go at it? Sounds like somebody strangling a cat. And what's up with that rocking shtick? They got some kind of palsy or something?"

In a related story, the vatican announced that Kumbaya had been placed on the Index Librorum Prohibitorum.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Voters? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Voters

OK we get it. We really do. We know that teachers are responsible for the recession, that they're most likely communists because...unions! And they need to be watched every single minute because this whole educating thing? Very dangerous to the status quo...uh, excuse us...democracy. Very dangerous to democracy.

So how is it that this particular teacher is still allowed to walk the streets like a citizen or something?
The teacher who heads up New Smyrna Beach High School's student government association could face thousands of dollars in fines. Her transgression? Helping students register to vote.
Yeah. We know what you're thinking, what are these kids doing in a student government association when they should be in a test prep class? FCAT is coming don't you know? No, not that FCAT. This FCAT. But let's set that aside for the moment and examine how this viper came to strike at the breast of the Florida Public School system.
When Jill Cicciarelli organized a drive at the start of the school year to get students pre-registered, she ran afoul of Florida's new and controversial election law. The new rules require that third parties who sign up new voters register with the state and that they submit applications within 48 hours.
Well of course it does. You think we want just anybody out there telling people they can vote?  Is that what they're teaching in Civics classes these days?
Republican lawmakers who backed the rules said they were necessary to reduce voter fraud.
"You'd be surprised how many people will say they're going to vote for you, but then when they get in that booth, go ahead and vote for someone else," said one republican lawmaker who declined to be identified.
Fear of violating the new rules prompted the League of Women Voters to suspend voter registration efforts in Florida. Local political activists in both parties have been similarly stymied, Volusia County Supervisor of Elections Ann McFall said. "It's bizarre," McFall said of the law. "I haven't found one person who likes this law."
"I like it,"said Florida governor Rick Scott who signed the law. "How long do you think I'd be in office if I let everybody vote?"
Shannon Miller, a 17-year-old senior who serves as co-president of the student government association along with classmate Crystal Merrick, said she was glad she had the chance to register at school. She wonders how many of her peers will participate if the process is too formalized. "It may discourage some students (from registering) if it's more difficult," she said. "We're more apt to get involved, but (some students) won't go to the trouble if they think it's hard."
"What's your point?" Scott asked.
Supporters said it was necessary to prevent voter fraud, though elections supervisors like Volusia County Supervisor of Elections Ann McFall said they haven't had a problem. "I don't see it," she said in a telephone interview last week from her office in DeLand. "I truly don't see it."
"Oh, like the County Supervisor of Elections would know about fraud going on in her district," said state Rep. Dorothy Hukill, a Republican from Port Orange who backed the bill.
"There are reasons for the law," said Hukill. "Part of the reason is to protect people like (the students), so they know they're being registered properly."
When asked how someone could be registered to vote improperly Hukill referred reporters to the local Democratic Party Headquarters. "Every voter they register is improper in my view," she added.
For the students involved in the voter registration drive, the incident has proven an unsolicited lesson in real-life civics, New Smyrna Beach High Principal Jim Tager said.
"Grab power any way you can, and when you get it, do everything you can to keep the other side down." he said. "Is it any wonder why kids don't trust adults?"

Monday, October 24, 2011

In Which Ironicus Clears It Up

You know why we're doing this?

This is why:
By all accounts, Mark Lindquist is a hero, an underpaid social worker who nearly gave his life trying to save three developmentally disabled adults from the Joplin tornado. Both houses of the Missouri legislature honored Lindquist, the Senate resolution calling him "a true hero and inspiration to others." The tornado's 200 mph winds tossed Lindquist nearly a block, broke every rib, obliterated his shoulder, knocked out most of his teeth and put him in a coma for about two months.
Now, despite what Eric Cantor, Herman Cain and republican debate audiences say,  we're pretty sure everyone with a beating heart larger than a raisin and a degree of empathy just a tad greater than a European paper wasp would agree that this guy could use a little assistance. Especially if you're an insurance company whose job it is to step up during catastrophic events and help people get back on their feet. Right?
But he has no medical insurance. Lindquist couldn't afford it on a job paying barely above minimum wage. He assumed workers' compensation would cover his bills, but his claim was denied "based on the fact that there was no greater risk than the general public at the time you were involved in the Joplin tornado," according to a letter to Lindquist from Accident Fund Insurance Company of America, his company's workers' comp provider.
Wrong. "...there was no greater risk than the general public at the time you were involved in the Joplin tornado." What does that even mean? Oh wait, we know: We're not covering your claim even though you were severely injured while performing your job (above and beyond the call of duty we might add) because, well...Bonuses!
Lindquist's survival defies logic. After the storm, rescuers found Lindquist buried in rubble, impaled by a piece of metal. Large chunks of flesh were torn off. Bones from his shoulder crumbled as they placed him on a door used as a makeshift stretcher. He was later delivered to Freeman Hospital.
A spokesperson for the Accident Fund complained that by surviving Lindquist had "really screwed up the actuarial tables" and had filed his claim at a "most inconvenient time" right at the close of the quarter when Profit and Loss statements were due. "Very little consideration was shown to the Accident Fund by this claimant" read a statement from company headquarters.

Doctors told Baldwin that if Lindquist survived, it likely would be in a vegetative state. Even in a best-case scenario, he likely would be blind in one eye, never regain use of his right arm, and never speak or think normally, she was told. Things got worse. Debris that got into the open sores caused a fungal infection, one that killed five other Joplin tornado victims. Lindquist overcame the fungus but remained at Freeman until June 16. Still in a coma, he was flown to a hospital in Columbia for a little over a month before being sent to a rehab center in Mount Vernon where he awakened.
Michael Britt, President of the Accident Fund told reporters that, "by refusing to die when all reliable medical opinion  had declared him a lost cause, Mr.Lindquist was obviously trying to take advantage of the generous workers comp programs offered by our company."
Jahn Hurn, CEO of Community Support Services, said the agency has asked Accident Fund Insurance to reconsider Lindquist's case. Insurance company spokeswoman Stepheni Schlinker said she could not discuss an individual claim or whether the company would reconsider.
"We're banking on a setback," Schlinker told reporters. And even if the guy does make it, he's so banged up he'll probably never work again, so what are we supposed to do? Support him for the rest of his life? Can you imagine what our investors would say to that?"

#occupy. Any questions?

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Friday Hound Blogging (Thursday Edition)

Busy, busy, busy here in the marbled halls of IM Central. And not just because of the closeout sale down at the local adult beverage emporium either. How does a liquor store go out of business anyway? Is that even possible? Shouldn't there be TARP funds available? Anyway, we anticipate no interruption in the Stoli flow as the adult beverage emporium across the street from the soon to be defunct adult beverage emporium seems to be adequately stocked.

No, the reason for our madcap hustlebustle is the burgeoning conference season, a favorite time of year when we get to jet off to exotic cities, commune with our fellows and come up with new and innovative ways to skip out of sessions. In fact, even as we despoil the pristine innocence of the blank page with our desultory scribblings we are also preparing for a rendezvous with our local TSA naked machine. It occurs to us that Christmas parties must be a real hoot at TSA headquarters (Look at this. I bet this guy's nickname is stubby...Dang. Talk about top heavy. How does she do that without a back brace?)

But we digress. On to the overlords. We're coming to you today from the Blood From A Turnip Department. The BFAT Department is part of the When You Got Nothing, You Got Nothing To Extort Company, in cooperation with Like I Have A Reputation To Lose, LLC.
The man federal prosecutors say threatened to damage Gov.-elect Earl Ray Tomblin's reputation pleaded not guilty to an extortion charge Tuesday. Harry Marshall Rae, who used to be involved in the dog racing business, allegedly tried to blackmail people with ties to the industry.
Reputation? Dude. Do you even know anything about this Tomblin guy? Him worrying about losing his reputation is like Donald Trump worrying that he might miss his hair appointment.
Unless he received money, Rae threatened to release videos he said would damage the reputation of the greyhound industry and Tomblin, whose family breeds and races the dogs, according to a federal criminal complaint.
 Clearly Mr. Rae, you have not thought this through. You're going to damage the reputation of the greyhound industry? That's like saying you are going to walk through a city that has just had nuclear devastation rained down upon it and break a few windows.
But the videos Rae said he had were shot in another state, so it's unclear how they would have directly affected the reputation of greyhound racers here, including Tomblin's mother and brother.
Yeah, "unclear" is probably a word that could be worked into a lot of descriptions about Mr. Rae. But here's our question, if you got embarrassing videos of overlords in another state, why didn't you just go black mail those overlords?
Rae lives in California, but his cased was moved to West Virginia.
OK, so the guy lives in California, which is not a racing state. He gets embarrassing video from some other state that is not West Virginia, then tries to convince the Tomblin family in West Virginia they're going to be embarrassed unless they give him money. A criminal genius this guy is not, huh Boss?

Boss is a three year old guy who ran his races (all 119 of them) in Florida. Here's a clip: Boss comes out of the number eight box and finishes sixth.

For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Friday Hound Blogging

Wooo Weee! Do you know what time it is? No, it's not Howdy Doody time. Quit dating yourself. Although, come to think of it, that was a rather fine time, wasn't it? It's Howdy Doody time, it only costs a dime, to make your booty shine. We may not be remembering the lyrics quite correctly.

Where were we. Oh yeah. Overlords.

It's that time of year again when the overlords gather in that shining jewel on the Kansas plain, Abilene to throw their shoulders out of joint patting themselves on the back for making it through another year of inflicting brutal exploitation, unnecessary pain and suffering and pitiless deaths on the world's oldest breed of dog, the companions of kings, the inspiration for untold works of art and literature, the greyhounds, or, as they like to say it, suck a buck off a pup.

And who better to chronicle this august gathering than our good friends at the Abilene Reflector Chronicle Telegraph Press Gazette Times Tribune News Journal Post Dispatch this year featuring Tim Horan, sports editor because in the interview the publisher asked everyone how many quarters in a football game and his answer was the closest. Take it away editor Tim!
Bigger was expected and bigger it will be. The National Greyhound Association’s fall meet, which starts Monday and runs through Saturday in Abilene, will have about twice as many greyhound entries as last spring’s meet.
 Oh, we're back baby! Twice as many greyhounds. How you like us now animal rights wackos? This has got to mean people flocking to the tracks like lemmings to the moths to the to the liquor store fire...ah forget it. It means greyhound racing is getting popular again, right editor Tim?
Gary Guccione, NGA’s executive director said a change in format last spring allowing all of the entries to compete in the finals is in place this fall. Traditionally, a greyhound had to finish in the top three to make the finals. This fall greyhounds running fourth through six will also compete on Thursday and Friday. changed the rules so more people could come, and more people came. That's your big news? That's the lede? Come on editor Tim! Give us the real story, like how many overlords successfully completed their probations, or how many overlords prematurely sold their dogs and turned their kennels into meth labs when the Florida legislature passed the decoupling bill.
Kenneth Biehle of Thorndale, Texas, entered 90 greyhounds, the most of any participants.
"It's like the lotto," Biehle said. "I figure I got to have me a winner in there summers, and if not, well, let's just say all 90 dogs won't be going home with me if you get my drift."

Oh we hear you Mr. Biehle. We know you run a tight ship. Angling for your own spot in the greyhound hall of fame just like that there Vince Berland feller, huh?
Wednesday night, Greg Fast, a greyhound owner from Burlingame, Kan., will be honored at the banquet.
"Does that mean I don't have to pay for a ticket?" Fast asked.

"What? you think we're made of money?" Guccione responded."Do you know how much dues money we lost when all those breeders turned their kennels into meth labs?"

Probably a fair amount huh TJ? But on the bright side, at least those folks have a more respectable vocation now.

TJ, aka Lola is a very sweet, quiet little lady. She has a beautiful brindle coat, and we received many a compliment when out on walks. She loves to chase a ball, and run laps in the backyard, but prefers to lay on her pillow when inside. She has been out of her crate for over a year now (she sleeps on a pillow on the floor in the master bedroom) and we have had absolutely no accidents or problems with her. She is a "shadow" dog once she gets to know you, and prefers to be in the same room as you. She has very expressive eyes, and gives you that "puppy dog" look almost every time she looks at you (which makes her very hard to resist!).  Lola would be absolutely wonderful for a family with older children, or a couple with another dog. She would not do well with a single owner who isn't home for most of the day, or a family with younger children who are looking for a dog to actively interact with them. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Simplify Your Message Or We're Going Back To Following Sarah Palin Around

OK so we're just a little confused about the media's obsession with wanting the Occupy Wall Street protesters to have a "coherent message." They do have a coherent message, it's economic justice for all, the problem is making that happen is going to be complicated and require action on several different fronts. But hey, complex problems require complex solutions, you know? Well, you would know, unless you're a CNN correspondent.

Anyway, we don't recall this much consternation over the Tea Baggers' message. Apparently "Get the Government out of Medicare" qualifies as a coherent message. Shoot man come on, those people don't even have coherent spelling.

And speaking of shoot, we'd like to respond to congressman Cantor's "concern" about the "mobs" on Wall Street: Dude, we'd much rather go to a demonstration where people are walking around with bongo drums than one where people are walking around with guns. But that's just us.

Monday, October 10, 2011

On The Bright Side, The Demand For More Trailer Parks Will Probably Create Jobs

Ah, democracy. What other system of government lets the people decide what elected representatives should focus their energies on, then provides support through taxes to fund those policies that have become, by popular definition the common good.

Of course some people's definition of what should be common because it's good is a little different.
The council near the end of its 70-minute meeting heard the first reading of a proposal to amend the ordinance the city’s governing body previously adopted putting in place the Uniform Public Offense Code developed by the League of Kansas Municipalities. The council is expected next week to consider the proposed changes, which would include repealing the part of the code that bans domestic battery.
OK, so the first thing we're thinking is that if you make domestic battery legal Cops will never film in your city again. Plus, according to several leading economists, repeal of the ban would not appreciably affect the sale of men's undershirts.
The city attorney’s office says the repeal would force Taylor, who said Sept. 8 he would no longer prosecute misdemeanors committed in Topeka, including domestic battery, to start prosecuting that crime again. Dombrowski told the council her mother always told her two wrongs don’t make a right. She said repealing the part of city ordinance banning domestic battery would be “the second wrong” after Taylor stopped prosecuting those crimes.
Now, let's make sure we understand this. Even though, at the present time, it's illegal to punch out your spouse, the city attorney isn't prosecuting those cases anyway?  We thought only bankers could decide what laws they wanted to follow.
Mayor Bill Bunten responded that everyone on the council supports punishing those who commit domestic battery. He also said that if anyone thinks those who commit domestic battery will go unpunished here, “they’re dead wrong.”
"Course some of you will be just plain dead," he added. "But hey, you think we got some sort of nanny state going on here? You really want government in your bedroom. Or your living room, or your front porch, or wherever it is you're getting the crap beat out of you 'cause you made runny eggs again?"
Councilman Chad Manspeaker urged the public to contact the city governing body and the district attorney’s office to share ideas to resolve the matter amicably. “I think the public needs to have some input as to what happens with this,” Manspeaker said.
Oh Councilman Manspeaker, how quaintly naive of you. "The public needs to have some input..." That is so twentieth century.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Friday Hound Blogging

We're in a really good mood today. It's almost 80 degrees here in the Water Winter Wonderland, which, if you know anything about Michigan at all means you know that October is sometimes equal parts rain, followed by snow, followed by sunny days with the wind out of the north at just below hurricane velocities resulting in a wind chill temperature somewhere north of solid nitrogen, followed by snow until April.

So rather than bring you another installment of the overlords ongoing tale of woe, we thought this might be more appropriate given our undoubtedly temporary state of meteorologically inspired jocularity.
Bergen Community College is helping spread the word about how former racing greyhounds can make great pets. The college hosted its seventh annual Greyhound Adoption Day on Sept. 27, with support from the Greyhound Friends of New Jersey (GFNJ).
Who says all college students do is smoke dope and listen to the rock and roll? Oh wait, that was us. We have no idea what college kids do today. Well, except for these college kids who appear to have decided to make a difference.
The event ties back into the school, with English as a second language students producing reports about greyhounds and the school's graphic designers creating T-shirts that are sold with proceeds benefiting GFNJ.
 Ha! Making a difference and getting credit for it. Are these kids smart, or what?
"It's a way to educate the students, all the community really, because this goes out to the community and people from outside the school can come and learn about greyhound adoption. The more people that know about it, the better," Harold Kahn, a greyhound lover and professor in the American Language program at the school said. "Even if they don't adopt a dog now, at least they know about, they may tell their friends, and years down the line when they're thinking about getting an animal, they'll give a dog a home."
Paying it forward man, paying it forward.  We bet you wouldn't mind being adopted by some of those folks, huh Autum? Even if did mean living in New Jersey.

Autum is a beautiful girl and a wonderful companion. She is very outgoing and likes to be where you are. Autum entertains her foster family by standing at doggie toy basket and squeaking each toy, one by one, until the basket is empty. She also likes to hang out with the foster family’s greyhounds. She is friendly with any size dog, and was good friends with toy breed dogs in her previous home. Autum would do well in a working family home with second dog to keep her company or in a family that has someone home more often. She is good with older, well-mannered children, 8 and up. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Suffer The Children To Come Unto Me, And I Will Wail On Those Little Buggers

You know, when we were little Ironicii one of the ideas the nuns beat into our heads (sometimes literally) was that without religion the world would degenerate into a pitiless, desolate wasteland where the strong preyed on the weak, no one could be trusted and life was cheap. Sort of like recess we remember thinking.

The point is, the civilizing power of religion was one if its strongest selling points in their view. It occurred to us that this civilizing function's mechanism was the threat of eternal damnation to lakes of fire and worms in your eyes, which didn't sound all that civilized to us, but we refrained from pointing out this apparent contradiction to the nuns as our addled pates had already had enough ideas beaten into them.

We bring this up because it appears that when it comes to religion bringing out the better angels of our nature, some folks' pates are apparently even more addled than ours.
A gay Gibson County couple said they were assaulted when they tried to attend church services at the Grace Fellowship Church in Fruitland last Wednesday.
Yeah, yeah, gay couple going to church in Fruitland. We saw that, but come on, some jokes are too easy even for us. And by too easy we mean we're too lazy even to make the joke, we just point it out and expect you to do all the work. Thank you. And now back to our story.
"I went over to take the keys out of the ignition and all the sudden I hear someone say 'sick'em,'" said Gibson County resident, Jerry Pittman Jr. Pittman said the attack was prompted by the pastor of the church, Jerry Pittman, his father.
 Now that's just about 17 different kinds of weird right there. Dude's a pastor and he sends his posse to thump on his very own son? What is this, the Church of Coming Upside Your Heathen Head for Jesus?
"My uncle and two other deacons came over to the car per my dad's request. My uncle smashed me in the door as the other deacon knocked my boyfriend back so he couldn't help me, punching him in his face and his chest. The other deacon came and hit me through my car window in my back," said Pittman.
OK we're thinking family gatherings have to be kind of strained in the Pittman household.
Friday, the couple filed assault charges against Deacons Billy Sims and Eugene McCoy. Pittman pressed additional charges against his father and Deacon Patrick Flatt. Pastor Pittman's attorney contacted ABC 7 Eyewitness News by phone and said she had no comment and demanded we not contact the pastor.
"Pastor Pittman is a man of god," the attorney said. "He believes in loving his neighbor, forgiveness and turning the other cheek, and if you question his commitment to our personal savior Jesus Christ and the ten commandments,  he will mess you up."

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Alabama! Motto: Hey, What If We Just Made It Illegal For Tomatoes To Rot?

Dagum reality. Always a gittin' in there a gumin' up the works when yer a tryin' to restore southern culture to its rightful place  'cause them Yankee carpetbaggers done come down here after the War a Northern Aggression a bringin' all them new fangled ideas, like laws are for everybody and black folks don't need to be out of town by sundown.
A sponsor of Alabama's tough new immigration law told desperate tomato farmers Monday that he won't change the law, even though they told him that their crops are rotting in the field and they are at risk of losing their farms.
"Now lookie heah boy, I don't like the wet backs any more'n you do, but I got me a crop a termaders to get in. You think anybody that speaks English gonna work for what I pay?" one exasperated grower asked.
"My position is to stay with the law as it is," Republican state Sen. Scott Beason told the farmers.
"You know how long it took me to write that thing?" He continued. "All them whereasses and heretofores, you think they just popped up? Jesus man, there's even some Latin in there. I don't know what it means, but it sure sounds important. My nephew put it in there for me. He went to high school you know. The whole six years."
After talking with farmers at the tomato shed, Beason visited the Smith family's farm. Leroy Smith, Chad Smith's father, challenged the senator to pick a bucket full of tomatoes and experience the labor-intensive work. Beason declined.
"I can not believe you just asked a white man to do that," he said.
The U.S. Justice Department, civil rights groups and others have challenged the law. U.S. District Judge Sharon Blackburn allowed major portions of the law to take effect Thursday. The opponents asked the judge Friday to put the law on hold while they appeal her ruling. Attorneys for the state filed court papers Monday asking the judge to leave the law in effect during the appeal.
"This is gonna take a fair passel o time," Judge Blackburn said. "That's a whole wagon load a readin' there and not a pitcher in the lot, jus' words. And that Latin! Lord only knows what that stuff means."

Monday, October 03, 2011

Yeah, That'll Turn Out Well

Yay! The Michigan Legislature has now solved all the social and economic problems in the state. Well, except for Now they've turned their attention to colleges and universities, well, universities mostly because that's what you do when you run out of poor people and union members.
In an era of government reinvention, Michigan universities should be in for close scrutiny along with every other taxpayer-funded operation in the state according to Rep. Robert Genetski, R-Saugatuck.
Well, every tax funded operation in the state except the Legislature, that is. Nothing to see here. Hey, look over there! Unions!
There is growing frustration with the cost of college education in the state and country. The proposed commission would be doing the state a service in taking seriously the mandate to “analyze the operation ... of state universities.”
Umm...Mr representative sir? Bobby? May we call you Bobby? We agree there is a growing frustration with the cost of college education in the state, to put this politely...State support for higher education in Michigan has decreased dramatically over the last several decades, leaving universities in the state with gaps in funding that threaten the quality of the educational experience.  Since 2001, state budget cuts have reduced the amount of money universities get per student by over $2,500, resulting in 2008 state funding for public universities that is almost $442 million below the amount appropriated in 2002 (plus inflation).

So the biggest reason the cost of a college education has gone up is, well, basically you. See, because when the legislature takes money away from public schools they have to find it somewhere else. No need for a commission to figure that out. Just ask the folks in Indiana, Ohio and Minnesota:
At the same time that Michigan has been "dis-investing" in the future, other states have been investing. A recent article in the Lansing State Journal, "State higher ed funding lags, while others invest" (pdf) explains how other mid-western states like Ohio, Indiana and Minnesota have increased funding to support their colleges and universities as a way to stay competitive.
 Oh man, Indiana? You see that Bobby? Indiana! Maybe you should send your commission down there to figure out how they can beat us with an economy based on corn and pork rinds.
It doesn’t take an advanced degree to recognize the problem. Michigan’s universities could stand to be studied more closely. The Legislature should undertake that study in a responsible way, one that recognizes the vital importance of an affordable college education to Michigan’s future.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! See what Bobby did there? It "doesn't take an advanced degree..." He made a funny on the fact they he wants to investigate universities which give out "advanced degrees," which apparently he doesn't have. Not that you need one you know.  Not when you have accomplishments like being a member of Right to Life and the National Rifle Association, which, we guess, means if you tell him you're pro-choice he'll shoot you.