Wednesday, April 10, 2013


We're over at The Stolen Lantern today stroking our beards and getting all serious like. Come on by.

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Dave Agema! Motto: I Am Not Over Compensating

OK, we've got this guy here in Michigan named Dave Agema, which we know sounds like some sort of skin condition. "The tests are back Mr. Maximus and it looks like Homofrightis Agema. The antibiotic resistant version."

Yeah, well he's a former state legislator who's now a "Republican National Committeeman" which is sort of like being a conductor on the crazy train, or maybe one of the activities directors for Loon Cruise Lines, or a booking agent for Bizzarro Air, or...well, the point is it takes a special person to stand out as a flaming bonkizoid in a room where flaming bonkizoid is the theme of the decor.

Fun Fact: When he was in the Michigan legislature, Agema missed crucial votes on tax hikes in 2007 by virtue of the fact that he was in Siberia killing a goat because Manly! This earned him the sobriquet "Goat Killer."

Now, Mr. Agema has a history of making vile, hurtful and bigoted statements, most of which are unencumbered by the thought process. We thought that was a requirement for the job, but apparently we were wrong because Agema's latest foray into social commentary has provoked a backlash of sorts. But before you get all up on Mt. Sinai there and start telling us this is just another example of a poor christian man being hounded by godless liberals, or worse, democrats because he has taken the lord Jesus Christ as his personal savior, you can just put that thought out of your mind because this isn't about trying to bring the sweet gospel of heterosex to the masses as Jesus commanded the Apostles when he said "Thou shalt go forth and tag some booty, but whosoever shall be favoring the show tunes shall be an abomination before the Father." (Budweiser 6:12)

No, this isn't about the loving god at all, this is about science so we probably don't have to tell you the people most concerned about this latest outbreak of Republicanus Bigotitus are the republicans themselves because, you know, science and republicans go together like corn stalks and B2 bombers. Besides, when liberals read what Agema wrote they were all like, "A republican says something offensive and inaccurate? Must be a day that ends in Y."

As you might expect, Mr. Agema was not about to...uh...bend over and take it, so he  took to the airwaves to defend himself. Unfortunately the only airwaves he could find were those belonging to a guy who runs a radio station out of his fallout shelter in Michigan's upper peninsula. This is sort of like taking out an ad in the personals section of the Lonelyville New York Daily Chronicle and Advertiser because only 18 people live in the UP anyway and just six of them have radios.

Fun fact #2: During the interview between Agema and the radio host is was revealed that 10 years ago we didn't have bisexuals. What say you now David Bowie, and Leonard Bernstein, and Cary Grant?

We know what we say: 

Carson/Agema 2016!