Friday, September 27, 2013

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Department of Serendipity here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The DOS in a division of the Unintended Consequences Company, a wholly owned subsidy of the Did You Really Mean To Say That Corporation.

Occasionally, when publishing stories about the overlords, little nuggets of truth appear, winking in the sunshine like slivers of gold in a stream bed as the torrent of industry blather, obfuscation and dissembling rushes over them. Even less often, those nuggets are large enough to catch our eyes, even as the froth and spume of overlord burble attempts to hide them. This is one of those times. Check out this headline:

Group campaigning to keep greyhound racing in Wimbledon dismiss animal cruelty concerns 

Well of course you dismiss animal cruelty concerns. When your whole industry is based on animal cruelty there's really nothing to be concerned about is there? It would be like the car companies being concerned about tire wear, or A restaurant being concerned that someone is going to drop a plate and break it. Sure, you want your tires to last a long time, and your plates to be strong, but stuff happens, you know? Tire wears out--throw it away and get another one. Plate breaks--sweep it up and get another one. Dog can't win anymore--kick it out of the kennel and get another one. So, since there's always another dog to take the place of the one you dump, what's there to be concerned about, right Diane McLean, spokesperson for the campaign?
“We are very optimistic about the future of greyhound racing at Wimbledon,” she said.
To be fair, Ms. McLean is also optimistic about the Care Bears running for public office, the development of a vaccine against butterflies, and the ability of coffee to restore tooth enamel.
Ms McLean claimed that the races were monitored by vets, who would be present in the paddock area and at the track. She cited the Greyhound Board of Great Britain as responsible for ensuring the safety of animals at the races.
Excellent! So when the dogs crash in the first turn the Vet can rush on the track and point out which dogs are worth saving and which are done for. Or maybe the Vet could test the 4D meat given to the dogs to determine what sort of pathogens it contains. Not that it would stop the overlords from feeding it to the dogs, but hey, we're paying this guy to be around the track so he ought to do something.
Ms McLean claimed that the greyhound ‘is the most protected breed of canine species’. “All greyhounds are now micro-chipped and all owners are registered with the GBGB and are responsible for their greyhound when it retires,” she said.  “GBGB must be informed where the dog is once it retires, for example, if it has gone home with the owner or put into a Retired Greyhound Trust kennel for homing.” The abandonment of retired greyhounds is one that has incensed animal rights campaigners, after investigations into the treatment of the animals who are often discarded by owners once they are no longer able to compete.
Oh those animal rights campaigners! They're such worry warts, right Ms. McLean? So what if the overlords cut the ears off the dogs they dump so they can't be traced back. Those days are over, huh? Now with the microchip cutting ears off won't be enough. No one would ever think of cutting the microchip out too. Check and mate Mr. Bad Apple overlord. Hey Knight, looks like you still have both your ears. Lucky you, huh?

I would do well in a single family home or a home with older, well-behaved kids. I would be fine being the only dog in the house or with other dogs. I really don’t care for being in my crate so I would do best in a home where someone is home or doesn’t want to crate me.  For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Lonely Hearts Club here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The LHC is a division of the Pariah Company, a wholly owned subsidy of  Don't You Wish You'd Stayed In School Now, Inc.

But first a small aside. We here at IM Central pride ourselves on our sharp (if somewhat alcohol fogged) eye, our rapier wit (even if our rapier more closely resembles a butter knife) and our insightful analytical acumen (which, while mostly wrong is at least spelled correctly) when it comes to ferreting out threads of meaning in the complex tapestry that is life in post rational America for your edification and enlightenment.

That being said however, we find that mostly we rely on dumb luck and happenstance. Take this week for instance.  When it finally did become clear to us that it was indeed Friday and our reader(s) would be expecting us to lead another foray into a twisted, writhing fever swamp of greed and callousness, where we kick over a few rocks and watch the reptilian inhabitants scurry for the shadows...erm...we mean write about greyhound racing.  We were at first inspired to scour the interwebs in search of the latest specimen of excrement brought forward by the leading lights of overlordistan in their ongoing attempt to convince the public at large that they do make a contribution to society that surpasses the one made by  their closest competitor for resources, Lepidosaphes gloverii. But that would be, like work, you know? So instead we just spun the giant wheel of chance on our electric computing machine and out plooped the last living greyhound racing fan in Texas. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Ronald Buck.

As you can see, this is not a photo the overlords would have chosen to further their "packed house" argument, but be that as it may, let's get to know Ronald, shall we?
 Ronald Buck punched a fist at the cloudless blue sky and barked encouragement to the dogs that raced around the track. His words were unintelligible, but his fervor was pyrotechnic.
Well, that's quite understandable.  It's been our experience that people associated with greyhound racing are often unintelligent...uh...we mean unintelligible. Usually this can be remedied by taking hold of their shoulders, giving them a good shake and saying loudly "Use your words man. Use your words!"

We like that pyrotechnic fervor too because where else but a greyhound track can you watch the rent money go up in flames two dollars at a time?
Win or lose, Buck, 75, and his buddies relish their time together at the races. The men play the dogs several times a month, usually at midweek when admission is free.
Yeah. Now in the interests of full disclosure we should point out that no one can see Buck's "buddies" except Buck  What's really interesting about the above passage though is how it illustrates Buck's inherent shrewdness and economic savvy. He will come to the track to lose money only if they don't they charge him to do it. We're thinking he may have been a hedge manger or an investment banker before he retired.
The Texas Racing Commission, which regulates dog and horse tracks, reports onsite wagering at live dog races dropped from about $30 million in 2005 to about $11 million last year. (Total money wagered at Gulf Greyhound, including both live and simulcast races, dropped to $40.6 million last year from $54.9 million in 2005.)
Whoa. Sounds like Buck needs more "buddies." What do you think Better?

I am very sweet and affectionate and love to follow my foster parents around. I love to play with toys and “nest.” I am a very quiet girl. I am curious about the dogs I see outside. I do very well in my crate. I get along wonderfully with dogs I know, but I am definitely too curious about kitties to live with them. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Louisiana! Motto: If You Leave Us Alone We Can Be Dumber Than Mississippi

Are you ready for today's chapter of Stupid Things Republicans Do to Kids? Of course you're not. You're probably still trying to get your head around the fact that Ted Cruz (a racial minority) thinks the Senate needs 100 Jesse Helms (an unreconstructed racist) or the fact that Louie Gohmert is allowed out in public without adult supervision, but listen, if you're going to survive in post rational America, you're going to have to learn to deal with much larger quantities of derp leaping out of your tee vee set and spilling out of your intertoobz, so let's take a trip to the Bayou shall we?
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal on Wednesday demanded that federal officials abandon their challenge of his state's voucher system, accusing the Justice Department of being more interested in doing favors for teacher unions than helping students.
"This is a vast public school conspiracy to prepare kids for life in the 21st century," Jindal told reporters. "And what's worse, they're doing it with your tax dollars."
Louisiana's school voucher program has become a political flashpoint, with congressional Republicans this week joining critics of the Justice Department's lawsuit, which seeks to block Louisiana from issuing new tuition vouchers in some districts still under desegregation orders.
"Why should deserving educational entrepreneurs have to wait for black kids to catch up before they can get their piece of the state's educational budget?" asked Jindal. "Besides, you know those colored folks can't get anywhere on time. And that's not racist, it's a cultural fact."

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, a Republican who has championed education reform efforts, joined Jindal in demanding the Justice Department back down. "This is purely political," said Bush,  "I have no idea why they made this decision. It's like they have this fantasy that we're supposed to educate all the kids instead of provide a good return for people who invest in school management companies. Where do you get ideas like that?" 

"They are using those laws to trap these children in failing schools," Jindal said.  "But more importantly, they are withholding income from people who might donate to my campaign."

"There's not a chance that the president or the attorney general would send their kids to these schools," Jindal said."And yes I know it's about 1000 miles from here to Washington, but that's not my point. Actually, I don't remember my point right now, but this is wrong. Oh wait. Teacher unions! Something. Let me get back to you."

Well, all righty then governor. If you need up we'll be over here watching Michele Bachmann explain to the Egyptians that she's a member of the United States Congress from the United States. See, you have to be extra clear when you use English to explain things to people who don't speak English

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Gary Gucionne! Motto: If I Say It Enough Times I Can Make It True

Frequent readers of this blog are convinced that what remains of the American dream is a feverish, haunted portend of the apocalypse from which we cannot awaken...erm...we mean will remember friend of the blog Gary Guccione otherwise known as the Aristotle of the overlord crowd. If Aristotle had been born a turnip. Anyway, circumstances have one again inspired Mr. Guccione to arm himself with his Word-a-Day calendar and sally forth into the interwebs to do battle with the forces of reason and compassion.
Animal rights groups tend to generate more heat than light on the issues they exploit to raise money and gain publicity. This is certainly true of Grey2K USA, the animal rights group covered in Dave Boucher's September 4 article about injuries and economics in greyhound racing.
Now, if by heat you mean holding your feet to the fire to get you to actually care for the dogs we would agree with you Mr. G, but when you think about it, what groups like Grey2K have actually gained is the outlawing of greyhound racing in 38 states, the closing of all tracks in five state where racing is still allowed and shining a "light" to use your term on the horrific condition in which most greyhounds are trapped, and by that we mean the confinement, the 4D meat, and the constant risk if injury and death, so yeah some heat and some light.
The fact is that only about one-half of one percent of all greyhound racing starts actually result in injury to greyhounds. Of those injuries, the vast majority are so minor that the greyhounds are treated and able to return to racing in a week or two.
Yeah, yeah we know about the "it's all numbers" argument. Your buddy Sam Burdette (whom we still think is the love child of Mitch McConnell and the Sta Puft man) tried it in Boucher's article. As we opined at the time:
Ah, we get it. So if you just think about injuries as occasional statistical occurrences instead of an instance of inflicting pain and suffering on an innocent living creature they stop being acts of meaningless cruelty in the service of profit and become random anomalous events. Well, that certainly does make them easier to think about if you happen to be the one doing the inflicting, but for the rest of us? Meh. Not so much.
We think that pretty much sums up the position of people born with a genetic predisposition to empathy.
On rare occasions, greyhounds experience injuries that end their racing careers. Those that are unable to continue racing are retired into an adoption program, and find loving homes in which to live out their lives.
Well now that's true, except for the ones who are killed and left for someone else to pick up, or the ones who receive no treatment for their injuries. Oh and let's not forget the ones who are just flat out abandoned, but yeah, other than that things are just hunky dory in the greyhound exploitation industry.
Nearly 95 percent of all registered racing greyhounds are returned to the farm or placed in adoptive homes when they retire. It's hard to imagine how any reasonable person could fault this outcome.
Oh, Mr. G, you're attempting to math again. Isn't that special. Now  we appreciate your determination to master the complexities of addition and subtraction, but as we told you before 2 + 2 does not equal 6 even though you may wish with all your black little heart that it did.
It should be obvious that greyhound owners and track operators have a vested interest in doing everything possible to reduce the risk of injury to racing greyhounds. That is why tracks spend hundreds of thousands of dollars each year on track maintenance, training and research to identify and resolve track surface issues that could contribute to greyhound injuries.
Wow Mr. G. Thanks for telling us that. We were not aware. Perhaps you should pass the word on to the folks at Tucson Greyhound Track. The greyhound caretakers there apparently didn't get the memo:
More alarming is what greyhound caretakers told investigators about track conditions. Among their complaints: people in charge of the track and running the tractors “didn’t care;" unmaintained dirt near the inner rail caused dogs to get their toes broken; and the fast dogs pulled muscles from running on heavy sand.
Yeah, well those injury percentages have to come from somewhere, right Mr. G?
Grey2K also misrepresents the economic reality of greyhound racing. The economic benefits of live racing are not limited to the number of tax dollars generated for state coffers. In most states, racinos have been approved, at least in part, because rural economies benefit from the horse and dog breeding industries that generate jobs, revenue and business activity in farm communities. This is a reality that the urban, well-heeled leaders of Grey2K simply do not understand.
Ah, the old we create jobs argument. Well played G man. Hard to argue with that even though most of the jobs are part time no benefit and wouldn't be there at all if the states didn't subsidize the industry as much as they do, but hey job's a job, right? Although it does seem like the people working in the industry really don't want to be working in the industry. Maybe you were just referring to your own employment future, huh?

Monday, September 16, 2013

Just Wait Until They Stop Drilling And Start Building Terminators

You know, it's really a corporate world and we're all just renters. Ironicus, you say, have you just returned from the fifth dimension? Have you been off planet again? Did you get lost in a beer cave? No, none of the above and even in our Stoli addled state we had noticed ordered civilization crashing down around us. Still we held on to a belief in American exceptionalism...we just didn't realize it meant our betters were exceptionally bad.

Now however the scales have dropped from our eyes and we view with clarity and horror the desultory beast's haphazard approach, our ears have become unplugged to the advancing hoof beats of the four horsemen, and our minds free to embrace the final chaos. It's not Skynet that will destroy us by becoming sentient, It's Exxon.
Exxon Mobil Corp. (XOM), the world’s largest energy company, was charged with illegally dumping more than 50,000 gallons (189,000 liters) of wastewater at a shale-gas drilling site in Pennsylvania.
First of all, how quaint that the article still refers to it as "Pennsylvania" and not it's more appropriate name, XOM Extraction Site 12. Also very quaint that the "authorities" have "charged" XOM with "illegally dumping" highly contaminated waste water. Hey, the water is already flammable, so what's your point? But we're curious concerning the specific method by which XOM externalizes its water treatment costs so we wonder what actually happened.
The inspectors discovered a plug removed from a tank, allowing the wastewater to run onto the ground, polluting a nearby stream.
Well of course. If the plug were left in that tank would fill up, then where would all the rest of the waste water go? Another tank?  That can get expensive. This way is much more cost effective.
“Criminal charges are unwarranted and legally baseless,” the XTO unit said yesterday in a statement posted on its website. “There was no intentional, reckless or negligent misconduct by XTO.”
Of course. We don't see how XTO unit can make it any more clear than that. XTO unit has checked all its memory logs and there is no record of this plug ever being removed, therefore the plug was not removed and no regulations were violated. On a side note, if your puny human frame did not need to take in sustenance in the form of food and water this pollution of which you speak would not be an issue. XTO unit does not require the air to be breathable nor the water drinkable to operate. Take note of that.
XTO was charged with five counts of unlawful conduct under the Clean Streams Law and three counts under the Solid Waste Management Act.
 You begin to annoy XTO unit.
“Charging XTO under these circumstances could discourage good environmental practices,” the company said in its statement. “This action tells oil and gas operators that setting up infrastructure to recycle produced water exposes them to the risk of significant legal and financial penalties should a small release occur.”
Do not interfere with extraction. Extraction must continue. Good environmental practices are irrelevant. XTO unit must fulfill its function.

On the bright side, cheap oil for everyone. Well, everyone that can breath chlorides, barium, strontium and aluminum that is. Hey how's that 100 year star ship program coming anyway?

Friday, September 13, 2013

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent readers of this blog cultivate the benefits of acquiescence...erm...we mean know that Florida is the center of the greyhound exploitation industry here in these United States. Sort of the Mordor to our Shire, the Pet Sematary to our Fairy Woodland, the Blackgate Penitentiary to our Gotham City, the...well, you get the picture. The point is, America's Freudian nightmare hanging out into the Gulf of Mexico is home to more death camps for greyhounds than the rest of the country combined.

We tell you this to help you understand that if there is anywhere on the North American continent where the overlords can wake up in the morning and not wonder if they made the right career choice turning down that scholarship to Billy Bob's Long Distance Truck Driving School and Fast Food Fry Cook College it has to be Florida.

Well, it used to be Florida.
Greyhound racing is a “dying sport” that has been hemorrhaging revenue for years, according to a study of commissioned by the Florida Legislature.
OK, speaking as professional educational technologists here we see that "dying sport" is in quotes which indicates that it came directly from the report as described by the authors, but  hemorrhaging revenue for years is the descriptor the writer of the article thought most appropriate to modify the quotation. Put the two contributions together and one is left with the inescapable conclusion that everyone with the brains god gave a street sign thinks greyhound racing sucks gravel through a straw.

This cannot be good news for the overlords.
The first 307-page report, released last week, gave an overview of all aspects of the state’s gaming industry, but painted a particularly bleak picture for facilities that offer greyhound racing. “Handle,” or the total amount wagered, has plummeted over the past two decades. “Total handle for the 13 facilities that ran greyhound racing fell from $933.8 million in [fiscal year] 1990 to $265.4 million in [fiscal year] 2012, a decline of 67 percent,” the report read.
Allow us to step in here and point out that it looks like the overlords have lost the handle on greyhound racing.  HaHaHaHaHa! See what we did there? A play on the meaning on the word handle. Another example of the sophisticated humor you've come to expect here in the marbled halls of IM Central. But back to our story.
Facilities that have greyhound racing lost $35 million on racing in 2012. They rely on card rooms, which made $39 million in 2012, to offset those losses.
OK if our Texas Instrument 86a graphing calculator with FM radio and GPS is accurate that means because of the overlords gambling kingpins in Florida took $4 million in profit from their card rooms and essentially took the other $35 million out back and set fire to it.

We're thinking that probably didn't make them happy.
The industry has tried to legalize so-called “decoupling” in recent years to allow companies to close money-losing dog tracks while operating profit-making card rooms.
Yep. They're not happy.

There's one voice that's been conspicuously absent from this article and that's the voice of the overlords. After all, they created the problem, maybe they have a solution.
The lone voice of optimism in the report was that of longtime lobbyist Jack Cory, who represents the Florida Greyhound Association. He said that greyhound racing could bounce back if track owners invest in their facilities.
Now that sounds like a real good idea there Mr. Cory sir, but what is it you plane to "invest" because if our  Texas Instrument 86a graphing calculator with FM radio and GPS is telling the truth, it sure ain't gonna be money. Hey Craigie, you got any ideas? What's that you say, you'd be happy to invest the time it takes to pee on Mr. Cory's leg if that would help? OK, we'll ask.

Craigie Murphy is a very happy, friendly boy. He loves to be around people and other dogs. He does well in his crate and is housebroken. He loves to go for walks and he loves everyone he meets while out walking. He is also cat safe. He has learned to go up and down the stairs. He is a squeaky toy spaz. When he hears squeaky toys, he will “plow” through the other dogs just to get to the toy. He is also a collector. He will empty the toy box and bring things to his bed. He is a counter surfer and since he is so tall, this is an easy task for him but his foster parents are working with him on this issue. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Let Freedom Ring (As Long As It Plays A Tune I Like)

We're coming to you today from the Sore Loser Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The SLD is a division of the WATB Corporation (Look it up. We're busy blogging here) a wholly owned subsidy of  Give Me My Ball I'm Going Home, Inc.

But first a word from our sponsor: Democracy. See, in a democracy people get to vote on stuff and if more people vote to do stuff, than not, we do that stuff--at least until the next time people get to vote when we may decide we really didn't want to do that stuff at all and start all over again. That's why progress in a democracy resembles a game of Frogger played by a blind person, but that' not the point. The point is because there are always people who want to do stuff and people who don't, at any given point in a democracy there will be a group of people who are ticked off because stuff isn't going their way.

And now, back to our blog.
West Virginia was the last state to break off from another. Now, 150 years later, a 49-year-old information technology consultant wants to apply the knife to Maryland’s five western counties. “The people are the sovereign,” says Scott Strzelczyk, leader of the fledgling Western Maryland Initiative, and the western sovereigns are fed up with Annapolis’s liberal majority, elected by the state’s other sovereigns.
HaHaHaHa! Mr. Strzelczyk do you see your conundrum here, so snarkily pointed out by the author? If the citizens are "sovereign" and more of them voted for things you don't like than voted for things you do like, by your own definition your stuck with it. Unless of course, some citizens are more "sovereign" than others in which case we have to wonder, which pig are you?

Perhaps it would be easier if you just moved to Colorado.
Residents in a conservative northern Colorado county will vote this November on whether to secede and create a new state, after a local commission on Monday approved ballot language backed by tea party activists.
Oh, you just know the Tea Party had to be in there somewhere, huh? But here's a more important question: Who checked the ballot language for spelling and grammar? Well, leave that unanswered for now. Let's hear how the rights of  these sovereigns have been trampled upon by a majority of citizens in their state.
“The concerns of rural Coloradans have been ignored for years,” commission chairman William Garcia said in a statement. “The last session was the straw that broke the camel’s back for many people. They want change. They want to be heard. Policies being passed by the legislature in Denver are having negative impacts on the lives of rural Coloradans. This isn’t an ‘R’ versus ‘D’ issue; it’s much bigger than that.”
Oh boo hoo. You think you have it bad Mr. Garcia? We just recently emerged from eight years of living in a country in which the highest elected office in the land was held by George W. Bush. A guy who dropped the ball on a major terrorist attack, got us in to two meaningless wars, watched a major American city be destroyed  from 20,000 feet, and did nothing as the economy tanked, all while taking more vacation days than any president since John Adams and did you see us trying to set up our own country in the backyard? No way, although it is true we cried ourselves to sleep each night reading real estate brochures from Belize.

So here you are stuck with magazines that can't be larger than 15 rounds and you're ready to fly off and create the great state of Wangdangistan. Suck it up buddy. Or maybe you should just move to Missouri.
Missouri’s legislature recently passed a law purporting to forbid the application of federal gun laws in the state and making it a crime for federal agents to enforce them there.
Because nothing says democracy like only obeying the laws you like. Wish that worked for speed limits because our bank account would be a lot healthier if it did.

Friday, September 06, 2013

Friday Hound Blogging **Now With Added Sarcasm For Your Weekend Pleasure

We're coming to you today from the Department of Perceptual Reality here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The DOPR is a division of the It Depends Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of the Commitment Effect, Inc.

It seems the overlords are in a tizzy because some animal rights wackos have collected a whole bunch of information about the state of greyhound exploitation in West Virgina, and to make matters worse they went and wrote about it. Now you might think, what's the big deal? People write about what soulless bags of wasted protoplasm the overlords are all the time. It doesn't seem to bother them. Of course, if you're a soulless bag of wasted protoplasm, self awareness is probably not a trait you have much experience with, so that may explain a lot. Anyway, what's different about this time?
In the last five years, there were more than 4,700 greyhound injuries at West Virginia's two dog-racing tracks and more than 1,400 of those injuries were catastrophic, career-ending injuries.In those five years, from January 2008 to June 2013, 289 greyhounds died or were euthanized at West Virginia's two dog tracks, according to an analysis of state records by an animal rights organization.West Virginia spends nearly $30 million annually on greyhound racing, providing prize money and state funding for dog breeders.
Yeah, yeah yeah. Dogs dying. Dogs being injured. We've heard it all before. Heard it in Arizona, heard it in Florida, heard it in Iowa. A fella's got to make a living right?  We mean, if you ran a restaurant and you dropped a plate and broke it, would that be worth an article in the paper? It's the same thing with greyhound racing. Heck, dogs dying unnecessarily  usually doesn't even inspire Rory Goree to get out his Word-A-Day calendar and try to sound coherent.
Grey2k recently completed a study of greyhound racing in West Virginia based on information from the state racing commission received through a Freedom of Information Act request. Sam Burdette, a dog breeder and the president of the state greyhound association, says that Grey2k distorts the truth.
Oh we get it. So those facts Grey2K collected aren't really facts, right? Those dead and injured dogs? Just faking it to get out of work. Or maybe, just maybe--what about this: The dogs are in cahoots with the Grey2K people. The whole thing is just a plot to make the overlords look bad. We mean think about it. Greyhounds are friendly, loving outgoing animals for the most part. A few well placed dog treats and you've got a friend for life. Is that what we're talking about here?

 "The dogs are not treated cruel,(sic) or that's not prevailing in the industry. If they aren't suffering from an untreated injury they  are exercised and they are adopted when they finish racing," Burdette said. "Unless they're sold for medical research, or killed."
State regulations mandate that the greyhound crates where the dogs spend much of their time be a minimum of 44-by-32-by-34 inches in size. "A cage is 34 inches high, a large greyhound is 30 inches at the shoulder," said Christine Dorchak, the president of Grey2k. "They can't even stand up."
Burdette sees it differently. "There's sufficient room in the crates for the dogs to stand up and maneuver as long as they don't lift their heads above their shoulders," he said. "And what have they got to look at anyway? Have you seen the inside of a kennel? Place looks like an abandoned coal mine most of the time." True dat Sammy boy, but what about the dead and injured thing? Where's the distortion there?

Grey2k says that dogs are let out in a pen four times a day for about half an hour each time, meaning they spend 22 hours a day in their crates. Burdette says that those let out times are sometimes as much as an hour and that the dogs are raced once a week and sometimes exercised in between races. "So at best they're spending 16, 18 hours a day in their crates." He said. "I don't see what there is to get so upset about. I work in an office and live in a home, so I spend 16 - 18 hours a day inside too."

Yeah, we can tell by your pasty complexion, but like we said what about that other stuff? Undistort that for us, OK Sammy?
Burdette says you need to view the injury numbers in the context of the number of races. "There's seven cards a week, times 15 races per card, times eight dogs per race," Burdette said. That gives you more than 3,000 chances each month for a dog to get hurt at Mardi Gras and more than 400,000 chances for a dog to get hurt at either track over the five-year span that Grey2k examined.
Ah, we get it. So if you just think about injuries as occasional statistical occurrences instead of an instance of inflicting pain and suffering on an innocent living creature they stop being acts of meaningless cruelty in the service of profit and become random anomalous events. Well, that certainly does make them easier to think about if you happen to be the one doing the inflicting, but for the rest of us? Meh. Not so much. What about you Buddy? You ever been a random anomalous event?

I am a very friendly and reserved boy. I am a little shy but am getting used to being around people of love me and I am getting used to living in a home. I am very affectionate and laid back. I am a little nervous when dogs bark at me. I can’t live with kitties and I’m not sure yet about small dogs because I have not met any. If you have a small dog and would like to meet me, I would have to meet your small dog also so I can see how I do. I love everyone that I have met and love to be petted. I don’t mind being in my crate and will go in to take naps. I love to go for walks and do really well on the leash. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

**UPDATE! UPDATE! Can't start the weekend without one final insult:

The overlords have been complaining of late that people have been unfairly pointing out that no one comes to watch the greyhounds risk death and injury to keep their masters off the workforce. As proof they offer photographic evidence of "packed houses" like this one:

Hey overlords, if that's your idea of a packed house, you're doing it wrong. That's no packed house amigo. This is a packed house: