Friday, June 27, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog remember the boundless vistas of youth, now a barren and dessicated landscape of broken promises and abandoned hopes...erm...we mean remember overlords James Bloom and James Grace who made the news a while back for their innovative treatment of injured greyhounds. Like all ground breakers and paradigm shifters though, they were mocked and shunned by the establishment. In fact, the backlash against these death track Galileos, these disposable dog Louis Pasteurs, these just walk it off Ignaz Semmelweises has become so bad, it has apparently forced them to go on the lam.
Authorities believe two men accused of abusing an injured racing greyhound have fled prosecution. “I can only assume based on the circumstantial evidence that they left as a result of the investigation that was ongoing,” Brooke County Prosecutor Joseph Barki said Monday afternoon.
Hey, come on there Mr. Barki. That's a bit of a stretch don't you think? Why would you flee when truth is on your side? Everyone knows the overlords place the care of the units...uh..the greyhounds above all else. If you question their methods it's because you don't know what they know; you don't understand the complicated and sophisticated nature of exploiting innocent living creatures for (no) mean investing copious amounts of money and time to develop superior athletes who, perforce, must receive only top notch care if they are to perform to the full potential of their skills. Why it's entirely possible that they've gone on a mission with their church to Belize, or Guatemala, or some other third world nation that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the US.
James P. Grace and James E. Bloom are accused of denying care to an injured greyhound.
Oh sure, that's what you say, but didn't the church also say Galileo was wrong?  Didn't the scientific community refuse to believe Pasteur's explanation for  fermentation?  Didn't Ignaz Semmelweis' colleagues refuse to believe him when he said washing hands saves lives? Face it, you're on the outside looking in and what appears to you on the surface as abuse, may be only the tip of a complicated and sophisticated treatment regimen which is beyond your capability to fathom. Why do people always react so negatively to things they don't understand?
“I told him that I thought she should go to the vet. Her leg was bleeding, dangling, she couldn’t put weight on it,” Bloom said, referring to Grace, in a statement to commission investigators “It looked broken, she was wobbly, she’d try but she couldn’t.”
OK, bleeding and dangling. We have to admit that looks pretty bad. Now, we know aspirin helps with headaches, but bleeding and dangling? Even overlord Bloom had his doubts about that one.
Barki said his office reviewed the information provided and concluded, after their own investigation, there was enough evidence to charge both men with misdemeanors.
Yeah. Now we're as much into innovation and discovery as the next guy, and we think we're pretty open minded when it comes to things we don't fully understand, but bleeding and dangling? Think we're gonna have to go with Mr. Barki here fellas. 
"However, both men have fled this area, with addresses now unknown, and have yet to be served with these criminal complaints.” Barki said. Law enforcement looked at other addresses affiliated with the men but didn’t have any luck, Barki said. Their names have since been entered into a national criminal database for outstanding warrants. It’s not uncommon for people facing even misdemeanor charges to flee, Barki said. Many in the greyhound racing industry aren’t originally from West Virginia either.
Well, in Bloom and Grace's defense, when you're a pariah you do tend to move around a lot. Sort of like pedophiles, you know? People tend to get testy when they find out they're living next to an overlord.
Attempts by the Daily Mail to contact Grace, Bloom and Cardinal Kennel owner Robert Mackey were unsuccessful. Myers, the commission’s acting director, and Sam Burdette, head of the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association, didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.
Holy crap, everybody's disappeared! This may not be a simple case of fleeing justice. We could be talking about...Alien Abduction! What do you think Gareth? Seen any bright lights in the sky lately?

I am a very playful and gentle boy. I like to bark when I play because I am so happy and having so much fun. I am very calm. I love to be around people but I’m not clingy. I just like to know someone is there. I am safe with kitties and dogs of all sizes. I am housebroken. I am working on going up and down the stairs but I have not quite mastered it yet so I may need a little help learning. I do not mind if I have to be in my crate. I get along great with kids of all ages. I actually love everyone I meet and I love to give kisses and be petted.  For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Mixed Message Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The MMD is a division of the Wishful Thinking Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of LALALALA WE CAN'T HEAR YOU, Inc.

First up, the overlords, not really known for their tight grasp on reality, or their ability to see the writing on the wall until that wall comes crashing down on them. Take it away, Gary Dura.
After a wonderful week off work, one filled with relaxation, chores and greyhound racing, it’s time to work up a list.We’ll take a look at five of the tops dogs at Dubuque Greyhound Park thus far.
Mr. Dura, it seems, is quite excited about the ongoing exploitation of innocent living creatures at the Dubuque Deathcamp for greyhounds, particularly one specific unit designated Superior Product.
Superior Product. He’s back. The Dubuque Inaugural champion has 10 races, going 6-2-0-1, all in Grade A. Right now, he’s the cream of the crop.
We're not sure whether it says more about the mental capacities of the overlords in general, or Mr. Dura's abilities in math, but 6-2-0-1 equals nine, not 10. Perhaps Superior Product is Schrodinger's greyhound and both raced and didn't race in that 10th contest, but leave that for now, that's not important because there is about to be a healthy (for the greyhounds anyway) dose of precipitation applied to Mr. Dura's cavalcade of cruelty in the form of the Iowa Legislature.
State regulators have set the process in motion to get the casinos in Council Bluffs and Dubuque out of greyhound racing.
 This is what's known in the profession as an owie. But wait you say, surely this can't be all there is to it. Why would the good people of Iowa turn their backs on the commodification of living creatures for (no) profit? It can't be as bad as you say, Ironicus. There must be an alternative, a bright spot--if you can call the continued death and injury of hundreds of greyhounds a year bright.

Well, you are correct astute reader(s).
The legislature passed and the governor signed a bill that shuts down the Council Bluffs track and shifts the management of dog racing in Dubuque to the Iowa Greyhound Association.
In the strongest evidence we've come across yet that there is a god--and he has a wicked sense of humor--the overlords have been given complete control of the Dubuque track. No subsidies. No tax breaks. No handouts. Just overlords warming themselves with large piles of cash set on fire by their stupidity and callousness.
The deal reached in the legislation has the Council Bluffs casino pay $65 million over the next seven years, and the Dubuque casino will pay one million dollars a year into the fund. Half of that money goes into the retirement fund and the other half can be used by those who remain in the industry to run the Dubuque Greyhound Park.
 "[T]hose who remain in the industry to run the Dubuque Greyhound Park," or as they are more commonly known, those who possess the intelligence level and business acumen of gefilte fish. Perhaps that's a slam against gefilte fish who probably would have been smart enough to TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN. Well, if they had legs that is. Still, if we have inadvertently defamed any members of the poached mixture of ground boned fish, such as carp, whitefish or pike by implying that their mental capabilities are on a par with those of the overlords, we sincerely apologize.

Back to Mr. Dura.
Dubuque has the first round of the King and Queen stakes Friday night. It features 24 males and 24 females in separate brackets, three qualifying rounds and the top four from each bracket making the July 4th finals.
 Well, providing none of the units are injured or killed, but Mr. Dura's enthusiasm seems to be genuine. Apparently he is convinced that since no one came to the tracks before and they were forced to suck money off of the casinos like a black hole with an eating disorder just to keep from folding like a bunch of girl Scouts at an origami class, people will come out to the tracks now that the overlords have to reach into their own pockets to make sure a bunch of helpless greyhounds remain in harm's way.

There seems to be a flaw in that line of reasoning, don't you agree Quigley?

I am a handsome boy who has a lot of great energy and I love to play. I get along great with the other Greyhounds in my foster home but I have not met any small dogs yet. I sometimes like to chase my foster kitties but when my foster dad tells me “no,” I stop chasing them. I have loved everyone I have met so far. I walk very well on my leash. I love to play with my toys. I am housebroken.
For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging

We're going to take a time out this week from our usual slog through the twisted and stunted dystopia that is the blasted landscape of greyhound exploitation and tell you about a very good friend of ours whom we never met. She was a tireless advocate for greyhound freedom recognized around the world by people in and out of the racing industry. In addition to her work for greyhound liberation, she was also a professional athlete and fashion model.

Even though she didn't become active in greyhound advocacy until later in her life, she participated in many anti-racing campaigns, including the Massachusetts ban on greyhound racing in 2009, and the campaigns in Rhode Island and New Hampshire to name a few. Everywhere she went she drew crowds and became the living embodiment of the future greyhounds deserved and the increasing possibility that working together we could achieve that future for all the greyhounds still held in captivity. Earlier this week she lost her battle with cancer. She will be well and truly missed. Below is our favorite photo of her:

Oh, Zoe is the one on the left. We think she's looking at a picture of Rory Goree walking around the track at Tucson in his bare feet.

Wish you could have known her Kiowa. Her ability to inspire people was a big reason you're now heading for a couch.

I am very puppy like and a little mischievous. I am very curious of everything around me. I love to stick my nose in everything and investigate. I am very playful and sweet. I love to be rubbed and petted. I love to run and play outside with all the other Greyhounds in my foster home. I got along great with the neighbor’s small dogs. I have absolutely loved everyone I have met. I am housebroken.
For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Thursday, June 05, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging (Thursday Edition)

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know that the one constant in this life is decline...erm...we mean know that above all else we strive for egalitie here in the marbled halls of IM Central, along with libertie and fraternite which is pretty much all we remember from Mrs. LePage's 11th grade French class, except for the week we spent learning to say "ne 'on veut sortir avec moi," which we then tried on Elizabeth Arlen in the hopes that we could impress her with our European suaveity. She instantly replied "Jamais de la vie perdant," which sent us excitedly back to our French to English dictionary...and then to the local grocery for our favorite comfort food, RC Cola and a package of Snowballs.

What was our point? Oh yeah, egalitie--equality, balance, fairness. Our rumination along these lines--aside from reviving an unfortunate high school memory--brought us to the realization that since we were late with our usual FHB last week, being early this week would restore the stars to their proper orbits, the seasons to their proper balance, and America to the nation it once was, instead of a fever swamp populated by creatures with small minds and even smaller hearts.

OK that last one may be a bit much to hope for. Apparently endless war tends to bruise one's humanity--permanently. And speaking of bruised humanity (Segues. Gotta love 'em) let's head down to Tucson Deathcamp for Greyhounds and check on the superior level of care and support the units...erm...the highly trained athletes,who are the beneficiaries of large investments of time and money, are receiving today.
Record heat in Tucson Monday led to some questions about whether it was safe for greyhounds to race.
Now, frankly we're surprised that this is even still an issue because a few years ago, roustabout scientist and friend of the blog Rory Goree put this whole issue to rest by walking around the track on a hot day in his bare feet. So, overfed, undereducated, middle aged doofis strolling around the track on a hot day, sweating from every pore on his body equals greyhounds running flat out with only panting to cool themselves. It's science people. You can't argue with facts.
Tucson Greyhound Park would not comment Monday.  But the Arizona Department of Racing listed several reasons why racing could continue.
"Well, the biggest reason is if they don't race they don't make money," said Bill Walsh, Director of the Arizona Department of Racing. "Of course when they do race they don't make money either," he added, "So I guess they have to race, but racing isn't profitable, so if they didn't race everyone would be better off, especially the dogs, but by racing they don't make money and the dogs are put at risk, but they need to make money so they keep racing which doesn't make them any money. I've lost my train of thought."

Oh that train's not lost Billy boy, it's lying in a smouldering heap down at the bottom of the ravine.
"Give the dogs a break, for gosh sakes, if the ADOR cared, they'd issue this edict themselves but that's what I would prefer the track do, show that they do have a little bit of concern for the dogs' well-being," said Ward 6 Tucson City Council member Steve Kozachik.
Hey come on Mr. Kozachik, haven't you been listening? They need to race, which doesn't make money, so racing is the only way they can make money. We can't make it more clear than that, right Dahlia?

Dahlia is an eight year old brindle female who likes cats and small dogs, but could also be an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Monday, June 02, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging (Monday Edition)

Oh Friday, you mischievous scamp you! How did you manage to slip through the marbled halls of IM Central without notice? Our backs were turned but for a second it seemed and you were gone like the first bird song wafted away on the breath of dawn. A half remembered dream, a vague, sliver of an image caught between the fleeing shadows. Where are you Friday? You have disappeared into that vast remoteness of before and now even your memory slips from us, vanishing into the now, like the mist over the sun wakened fields.

Yeah, yeah, we know what you're thinking. "Man up Ironicus. You blew the one thing that gives this blog even the hint of a socially redeeming value and now you're trying to hide behind a bunch of purple prose."

Come on. What do you want from us? It's not like we're being paid to do this, you know? When's the last time you clicked on the 'Donate Now' button? And don't give us that there is no donate button either because that's just the kind of little technicality we'd expect you to try.

And speaking of donate, let's donate some time to the overlords (Segues. We love 'em). For those of you keeping score at home, Iowa Governor Branstad signed the Greyhound Freedom Act which means that the last two tracks in Iowa will be closed by the end of next year if not before. Oh, there was that one part of the agreement where the overlords want to run the track at Mystique on their own dime without subsidies or tax breaks. Like we said, the last two tracks in Iowa will be closed by the end of next year if not before.

Well, as you might imagine this was a lot for the overlords to process, what with going from two non-profitable tracks to no non-profitable tracks in such a short period of time and it prompted overlord Leon Giguere to take to the airways with some deep thoughts.

Overlord Giguere tells us he has "mixed emotions" about the agreement because his preference would have been to keep "all" the tracks open instead of just the one that will flame ingloriously out within a year. Look on the bright side Mr. G. They're only closing half the tracks. The other half will remain open and losing money just like before.

The G man is also concerned about his fellow overlords and what might happen to them when they can no longer suck a buck off a pup. This is a valid concern and one we would share were it not for the $64 mill the casinos are forking over to get out from under the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit. Don't worry too much about it Leon. Think of how long it would have taken the industry to come up with $64 million on its own drawing two bucks a pop off social security recipients. Your retirement plan just got a lot more flush.

Hey Ivy, what kind of payout did you get when you retired?

Ivy is a six and a half year old brindle female who's not into cats, but doesn't mind small dogs, likes Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain, is not into yoga, and has half a brain. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.