Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know that we sometimes end this phrase with some sort of smart Alec comment. Ha! Got you there, didn't we? You're all thinking that Ironicus...so predictable.

Yeah? How you like us now Mr. and Ms. mouths agape in shocked disbelief?

Agape. We like that word. It's one of our favorite words, along with lugubrious.

Where were we? Oh, yeah, frequent readers of this blog know that on the occasion of Friday Hound Blogging we like to make light of the overlords' shall we say, lack of intellectual wattage. This, as you may imagine is not a challenging task.

However, this week we have set the bar substantially higher (insert your own Stoli joke here--we're busy). Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this week we are going to describe for your reading pleasure how a person who is highly educated, experienced and capable can be dumber than an overused cat box. This week we are going to conclusively demonstrate for you that Stephen Gamble, President of Eastern New Mexico University is an idiot.

Several weeks ago, APNM learned of an ill-conceived plan by Eastern New Mexico University (ENMU) to acquire two greyhounds from a now-closed Arizona race track and turn them into live mascots with no permanent home. APNM is joining what is a nationwide debate over ENMU’s inhumane proposal to use the two dogs as campus mascots, and to keep them permanently warehoused on campus without long-term and consistent human companionship recommended for domestic dogs.

See, because their sports teams are called the Greyhounds. Get it? They're going to get a couple of greyhound right off the track, stick them somewhere around campus, hope someone will take care of them, then trot them out at football games and such in front of drunk screaming fans to liven up the day.

What could possibly go wrong?

President Gamble told APNM that ENMU plans for a half-million dollar renovation to the grim warehouse building where the dogs will be kept during the day. APNM visited the dim interior warehouse space and found it crowded with tall piles of crates and boxes. Chain link and barbed wire fencing surround what is proposed as the dogs’ daytime back yard; the space is entirely devoid of shade. The enclosed “yard,” reportedly being cleared by backhoe of shards of glass and pottery seeded by the archaeology department for student use, is an otherwise barren plot of packed earth.

OK, is there anyone out there who believes this renovation has anything at all to do with the dogs or there is even the slightest possibility any of their needs were taken into consideration when it was planned? Raise your hand if you do. Didn't think so. Let's recap: We're going to get ourselves a couple of dogs, stick them in a warehouse and hope we can get somebody to look in on them from time to time, then pull them out and make them run around while people scream at them. That about it?

Did we mention President Gamble is an idiot?

President Gamble was unable to tell APNM who the dogs’ trainer would be, what the trainer’s background is, or exactly when or how any caretakers would be trained.

He was also unable to tell APNM how he ties his shoes, how he feeds himself, and how he gets home after work. He was, however, able to describe each of the shiny things he keeps in his desk drawer.

The website of Greyhound Connection, which is supplying the dogs, says that “Separation anxiety may hit Greyhounds harder than some breeds because Greyhounds seem to be more sensitive than most others.”

Right. So here's our question Mr. Greyhound Connection, sir: Why are you even considering letting this Bozo adopt two of your dogs? You got a bet with him about who can be more stupid in less time?

Hey Tootie, what say we all send President Gamble a little note and let him know what we think of his plan. If he gets someone to turn his computer on for him, you can reach him at Steven.Gamble@enmu.edu

Too Tall AKA Tootie is a bit shy and she is learning to trust people. She enjoys pets and is starting to seek attention. She enjoys playing with toys. She has an energetic playful side, which comes out first thing in the morning and when it is time for a walk. She has a very cute face with distinct worry lines. Tootie would do well in a working family home with well-mannered older children, 10 and up. She is good with other dogs, once she gets to know them. Initially she is a bit shy with them. She would probably be fine as an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.