In Which Ironicus Multi-Tasks

We're coming to you today from the Attention Deficit Disorder Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. You know, generally when we take our daily trip through the faux pas and foibles of our betters we try to find a particular tale of mendacity that rises above all the others; that gives mendacity a bad name; that even causes mendacity's neighbors dissembling, disingenuous, duplicitious, decietful, and their cousin perfidious to cross the street when they see mendacity coming. Today's excusion, however was like a voyage on the S.S. Slappy with all hands on deck. Just when it seemed we'd been brought up short by the fist of phoniness, along came five more fingers of fallaciousness. For example:

As Barack Obama broadens his outreach to evangelical voters, one of the movement's biggest names, James Dobson, accuses the likely Democratic presidential nominee of distorting the bible. Now, if anyone knows about distorting the bible, it's James Dobson. Hey Jimmy, read us that passage again when it talks about taking your son into the shower with you.

Sorry to put that image back in your head, but we're not done yet.

A top adviser to Republican presidential candidate John McCain apologized after he was quoted as saying a September 11-type attack before the November election would benefit McCain. "Hey, we're grasping at straws here," McCain political adviser Charlie Black said. "Have you seen that picture of McCain hugging Bush? How do you run against that? Besides, terrorists only attack in the cities and that's where most Democrats live anyway, so it's not like what I said was out of line."

Oh no, not a bit. By the way, did you know Obama was black? And so is his wife. But moving on:

The administration lacks an updated and comprehensive Iraq strategy to move beyond the "surge" of combat troops president Bush launched in January 2007 as an 18-month effort to curtail violence and build Iraqi democracy, government investigators said. "A plan!" the president said when told of the report. "Dang. I knew we forgot something."

No biggie, Mr. Bush. McCain wants to stay for 100 years. I'm sure we'll figure something out by then. If you need us, we'll be down in the basement banging our heads on the wall.