Hillary! Motto: Vice President. Don't Make Me Hurt You

OK, here's the scenario: January 20, 2009. President-elect Obama climbs the platform to take the oath of office. Suddenly a scuffle breaks out. Obamas's secret service guards rush to the the president-elect's aide, guns drawn, and come fact to face with...senator Clinton's secret service guards. Confused about what to do they stand idly by as the senator, who is shouting "I'm not conceding, I'm not conceding! Recount Florida and Michigan!" and the president-elect roll around on the dais. Finally Michelle Obama steps forward and cold cocks Clinton with her purse. Obama capitalizes on the incident by appointing his wife Secretary of Defense.

Think that's far fetched? You haven't been reading the papers.

Hillary Rodham Clinton refused to bow out of the Democratic race Tuesday, hoping to maintain a snit as Barack Obama clinched the delegates needed to secure the party's nomination. "Just because we lost doesn't mean we can't win," said Clinton spokesperson Terry McAuliffe.

"A lot of people are asking, 'What does Hillary want?'" Clinton told supporters at a rally in New York. "I want what I have always fought for: I want the nearly 18 million people who voted for me to be respected and heard. Oh, and president. I want to be president. Now."

Clinton told the crowd she would consult in the coming days with advisers about the fate of her moribund candidacy. "Tuesday I'll be meeting with Gandalf," Hillary said. "Then over the weekend I"ll meet with Merlin and Harry Potter." The senator left open the possibility of meeting with Voldermort and Sauron.

Many of her top supporters were told to speak openly of Clinton's potential vice presidential prospects. "We're not saying we expect something to happen to Obama," said Clinton aide Lanny Davis. "But no one expected anything to happen to Vince Foster either."

Clinton's national finance chairman, Hassan Nemazee, said he was also pushing an Obama-Clinton ticket, claiming that together they would be able to raise $200 million to $250 million for the general election. "Hillary would be willing to put up most of that herself if he picks her," he added.

Aides to the Illinois senator said he and Clinton had not spoken about the prospects of her joining the ticket. "She kept setting off the metal detectors, so we decided not to let her see the senator," said one Obama aide.

Advisers indicated earlier Tuesday that the former first lady would publicly acknowledge in her speech that Obama had crossed the delegate threshold. But she changed her mind and refused to do so even after television networks and The Associated Press declared the Illinois senator had sealed the nomination. "We're not saying we expect something to happen to any delegates," said Clinton aide Lanny Davis. "But no one expected anything to happen to Vince Foster either."

Most of Clinton's campaign staff will be let go and will be paid through June 15, said the officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge her plans. "We're hanging on to those people with covert military operations experience," one official said