Get Me The Guy Who Used To Write My Papers In College

We're coming to you today from the You Can't Make This Stuff Up Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. YCMtSU is a division of the Say Again? Corporation in partnership with Sometimes This Stuff Just Writes Itself, Inc. Let's get right to it:

president George W. Bush, scrutinized in books by former colleagues including a blistering critique by his ex-spokesman, is considering writing a memoir of his own.

OK, here's an image for you: Bush hunched over his computer staring intently at the screen and keyboard. After several minutes he straightens up and calls to Laura, "Hey, where do you put the paper in?"

Asked if he planned to pen his own book after leaving office in January, Bush said, "Do I have to use a pen? I don't spell too good and ink's hard to erase."

"I'm going to think about that, yes -- writing a book," Bush said in an interview. "I like those books where things pop up when you open them. What if you opened my book and Dick popped right up at you. That'd be scary heh heh."

Bush's predecessor Bill Clinton wrote a best-selling book after leaving office that chronicled his life as well as his eight years in the White House. He has made more than $23 million from his memoir "My Life."

"Twenty three mil, huh?" Bush said. Well, I couldn't make that much because I don't remember most of my life, and only what Dick tells me about being president."

Bush also said he never saw the award-winning network television show "The West Wing" about a fictitious U.S. president, preferring instead to watch sports and read books. "Actually, Laura reads the book to me while I watch sports," the president said.