Or, put another way, no one wants these bozos within a parsec of them. Regular people don't want them; track owners don't want them; even legislators--whom we must admit have standards only slightly above pit vipers--don't want them. So what is a poor, besieged overlord to do? The application deadline for Walmart greeter school has passed, and even though they have their certificate of completion from the third grade, employers seem to think that the ability to exploit innocent living creatures for (no) profit, then abandon them to an uncertain fate when they no longer produce is not an appropriate skill set for those who wish to use their labor to make a contribution to the betterment of society.
Truly a dilemma wouldn't you say? OK, you probably wouldn't say. Like us, you'd probably say "Welcome to the Karma Restaurant doofus. There is no menu. You get what you deserve," but let's set that aside for a moment and consider the situation from the overlords' perspective. Point number one: Your "sport" is about as popular as an Ebola outbreak in Central Park. Point number two: You are about as welcome in human society as a steaming hot bowl of chlamydia soup. Point number three: Your ability to obtain and maintain gainful employment outside of the wholesale abuse and neglect of greyhounds industry is on a par with the efficacy of flying cement trucks. Add it all up and only one conclusion is possible:
You need to start your own track.
The Iowa Greyhound Association has formally requested a license to operate a dog racing track in Dubuque next year.When asked why they thought a track would be successful in a climate where tracks are closing all over the country and revenue from greyhound racing is dropping faster than Scott DesJarlais drops his wedding vows, a spokesperson for the IGA who did not want his named used due to outstanding warrants, replied, "Because."
An official from the Iowa Racing and Gaming Commission tells the Telegraph Herald the license application was received Wednesday, the final day an application could be submitted."We were all just getting ready to go home, the official said, "when this shabby looking fellow rides up on an old bicycle and asks if this is the Racing Commission Headquarters. I thought he was some sort of panhandler and I was about to give him some change when he says he's the president of the IGA and hands us this grimy envelope. All I can say is it's a good thing spelling doesn't count. Oh, by the way, before he rode away he did ask us if anyone had any spare change."
Reporters requesting an explanation from the IGA as to why it took so long to complete the application were told Rory Goree had been hired as a consultant. "He charged us $37.50," a spokesperson said. "We're hoping the track will generate enough profit in the first five years so we can pay him."
Hmmm. What do you think Silver? Mr. Goree probably shouldn't make any plans for that money huh?
I am a very easy going, sweet boy. I am happy, very smart and obedient. I absolutely love to be around people. I have discovered the toy box and love to play with toys. The other dog in my foster home can come right up and take the toys from me and I do not growl or snap. I am housebroken. I do not like being in the crate. I walk very well on my leash. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.
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