Friday, May 09, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will recognize the flash of awareness that leads the low rumble of futility drawing ever closer...erm...we mean will recognize the name Rory Goree, long time friend of the blog, knockabout scientist and High Commissioner of the Arizona Department of Racing, donut procurement division. Well, it seems Mr. Goree has a problem. No not that problem. That's not as much a problem as a character fault. Mr. Goree's problem is that in the past few months he has  penned at least two  columns using evidenced based logic--if by evidenced based logic you mean innuendo, unsubstantiated claims and sweeping generalizations--challenging the animal rights wackos to come clean and admit they aren't really in it for the dogs, but just want to tap into some of the sweet, sweet muneez that swirls around greyhound rescue. This brings up an interesting point. Mr. Goree seems to believe that there is a lot of cash around when it comes to greyhound rescue, but apparently, there's no filthy lucre when it comes to racing itself. Now, if we were cynics we might come to the conclusion that Mr. Goree is just jealous that people are willing to spend buckets o' dollars to save innocent living creatures trapped in the clutches of a barbarous, heartless industry, but when it comes to dropping some of those Benjamins on the overlords themselves...not so much. If we were cynics we might believe that. Just spit-balling here.

But back to our story. So the Gorster throws down the gauntlet to the animal rights wackos and what response does he get? Bupkus. Nada. Crickets man. Now, in our defense, Mr. G, we must point out that we did respond to your first missive. OK, we missed the second because we have lives. Our bad. Well, Rory Goree may be a lot of things, but he is not a person you can just ignore, so once again he has taken to the interoobz to excoriate and just generally dismantle those who think that by saving greyhounds they are actually saving greyhounds.
If you listen to the “humane advocate protectors” (aka the ones who are constantly collecting money and dolling out paychecks, travelling around the world, handing out awards, enjoying perks) you would think they have struck the death blow to greyhound racing in one particular state.
Which "particular state" are you referring to there Mr. Goree? Iowa? Arizona?  You're going to have to be a little more specific. Maybe you mean Colorado where they don't have any operating tracks left, but they outlawed greyhound racing anyway, just to make sure it didn't come back.
If you are anti-greyhound racing and have surrendered your hard earned cash to the “humane advocate protectors” hopefully you realize it is most likely spent to fund personal hobby excursions, travel in style, wine & dine and keep files more extensive than the NSA on anyone and everyone. However you may be shocked to know they actively supported a bill that expands the ability of greyhound racing revenue stream. And now that the bill they supported which expands the ability of greyhound racing to make money the “humane advocate protectors” have now informed the world that this law must be removed. (insert donation button here???)
 Well, all we can say is given the results, they must be wining and dining the right people, but that phrase "actively supported a bill that expands the ability of greyhound racing revenue stream" seems to be missing a word or two. The Bill expands the ability of (the) greyhound racing revenue stream to do what? Maybe that's why the “humane advocate protectors” want the Bill removed: it makes no grammatical sense. By the way, have you trademarked “humane advocate protectors” yet? It's sure to catch on just like Crystal Pepsi.
I’ve been crisscrossing the country the last few weeks (on my own dime) and have heard those in the inner circle of the “humane advocate protectors” admit that particular individuals are only in it for the paycheck and have done nothing to help the anti-greyhound racing movement.
OK. Little tip for you G.  You are one of the most recognizable overlords around. When you were United Greyhound Racing Director of Welfare and Advocacy you personally oversaw the disappearance of 140 greyhounds, the cruelty scandal at TGP and the heatstroke deaths of at least eight dogs during transport. If you think the “humane advocate protectors” are going to take you into their "inner circle" we'd like to talk to you about a great business idea we have--starting a strip club in Riyadh. Dude, there isn't even a bar in that town! Plum ripe for the picking man, that's all we're saying.
Time for those who truly are against greyhound racing to stop bankrolling the “humane advocate protectors” gravy train and find new leadership? If the liars have been exposed and they have, why keep supporting them? The time has come that you reclaim the donations and either give it to local greyhound adoption programs or just continue supporting those wasting money on salaries & lobbyists, generating paperwork, expense accounts and maintaining secret files Till that day, many in the greyhound industry would like to give a big thank you to the “humane advocate protectors” who helped support and pass legislation that expands the ability of greyhound racing to make money and to those of you who support them – THANK YOU. The greyhound racing community couldn’t have done it without you!
 Now, admittedly we tend to indulge in the occasional adult beverage here in the marbled halls of IM Central so it's entirely possible that "legislation that expands the ability of greyhound racing to make money" slipped by us, but given the fact that greyhound racing is going down faster than hot dogs at a Nathan's Famous contest, we think we would have noticed a Bill that improved life for the overlords. What do you think, Ambrosia? Looks like it's the G man who has some "splainin'" to do, huh?


Hoarders! Who can't get enough of that show. Ambrosia's secretly been watching the show when her foster family is out! Collecting treasures is her retirement hobby! Anything left in reach; socks, pants and even towels will end up in bed with her. (If we can just teach her how to use the washing machine!). When questioned on the matter, Ambrosia charms you with her toothy smile, and you can't be mad at her, after all no harm done. She has been doing great with her foster siblings and with house rules. Who needs help picking up around the house? Come meet Ambrosia! For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

1 comment:

donzerly said...

The legislation that Mr. Goree was referring to was probably the bill that got passed in Arizona, which not only requires the overlord guardians in the Department of Racing to keep and make publicly available the injury records from Tucson greyhound track, but also allows for a new system of "advance deposit wagering", where you can place bets on races by telephone, without even leaving the comfort of home. It is assumed that this provision will increase the revenues of the Tucson track, but that remains to be seen in practice.