Monday, August 19, 2013

Rory Goree! Motto: Words Is Hard

We're coming to you today from the Projection Booth here in the marbled (if somewhat cobwebby) halls of IM Central. The Projection Booth is located just behind the office of I Know You Are But What Am I which is in the Kruger-Dunning wing.

It seems long time friend of the blog, roustabout scientist and dedicated civil servant Rory Goree has taken to the intertoobz to opine on the nature of professionalism, propriety and transparency. We know, you're thinking isn't this the guy who had to publicly apologize for making fun of a woman who had been in a near fatal accident? Yeah, well see, when you're a classless, misogynistic twit and you let everybody know it by making public statements like that, it's being transparent, you know? Gives the dude some street cred for his post.

And speaking of his post, let's go see what the G man is on about today.
We all know “humane advocate protectors” hide the truth about themselves, their real identities or their agenda from public scrutiny as they troll for comments from anyone that is against them or questions their activities and actions.
OK we're going to have to stop you right there Rory--may we call you Rory? Or would you prefer Commissioner Goree, since your vast experience and expertise have landed you a coveted position with the Arizona Department of Racing? Anyway, as professional educational technicians we feel obligated to point out that grammatically a "humane advocate protector" is someone who protects humane advocates. Now we see you've put that term in quotes throughout your post which tells us that you put a lot of thought into coming up with it, and you're quite proud of your efforts. If only you could have made it to that sixth grade English class and learned about modifiers...

But let's get back to our story, shall we? The rest of the paragraph is a list of rhetorical questions vaguely casting aspersions on an unnamed anti-racing group (wink Grey2K wink) and since The Big G is writing only to people who already agree with him, he can be pretty sure the questions will be answered the way he intends, thus saving him the effort of having to come up with that pesky evidence.

Probably it occurs to you that attacking the character of an organization through innuendo while not even having the courage to name said organization is not a very professional thing to do in a post on professionalism, but that's just because you have missed the sophistication of Overlord Goree's argument. See the first part was just chum to draw the like minded in. Now that everyone is soaking in a fine soup of delusional indignity he unleashes his Call To Action:
Fellow lovers of the greyhound breed, it is time to stop the “humane advocate protectors” who do not use their donations to assist a single greyhound, yet hide behind thousands of greyhounds in order to collect donations that pay their salaries and expenses and to spread their agenda yet continue to claim anyone against them profits from greyhounds.
For those of you keeping score at home that is a 57 word sentence with more subjects than the overlords have excuses when people find out how they're actually taking "care" of the dogs, but let's not quibble because it's the last 14 words that bring the whole muddled collection of baling wire and duct tape crashing to the ground. This unnamed (wink Grey2K wink) group claims those against them profit from greyhounds, but isn't that the whole point of greyhound racing, to, you know, profit from greyhounds? Are you saying you really don't profit from greyhounds and this unnamed (wink Grey2K wink) group is making false claims impugning your character and the character of your fellow overlords? Actually, now that we think of it, you may have a point about the whole no profit thing.

 We're going to have to admit to a little confusion here Gster. Can you help us out?
Continue to demand accountability and transparency from the “humane advocate protectors” and do it as the professional individuals you are. Stop them from using your words to play on the public for donations.
Ah, we get it. Accountability. So that means no more playing keep away with injury reports, right? And transparency. That means no more trying to make public documents unpublic, right? We got you now dude. Thanks for clearing that up.

1 comment:

Nancy said...

Gad, that is great!!