Friday, July 27, 2012

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog recognize the ultimate futility of purpose in the face of a chaotic universe where entropy grows faster than the interest on Romney's off shore accounts...erm...we mean recognize the name Rory Goree, philosopher, scientist and Captain of the overlords.

Well, Mr. Goree has just added another accomplishment to his long career of...ah...his long career of....OK that's not really the point now. The point is that Jan Brewer, governor of Arizona has appointed Mr. Goree to the Arizona Racing Commission, which even though it's mostly about horse racing still has to have one greyhound person on it because Tucson Greyhound Park, the last track in Arizona might decide to have a race or two even though the legislature told them it would be really, really, really OK if they didn't and in fact if they wanted to turn the whole place into a Senior Center, or a  Water Park, or Used Car lot, whatever, it's fine.

But did they take the hint? Sometimes these overlords, man. We mean, whole states pass laws saying we don't want you, and the overlords are all like "S'up dude? Where you want us to set up?" Here's a ticket man. Go catch a ride on the clue train. So anyway somebody had to be on the Racing Commission to represent the overlords and Mr. Goree was chosen, which is sort of like being asked to be the pitching coach of a T-ball team.

Now for those of you who may be thinking this is some kind of political patronage job, you can put that thought right out of your minds because Mr. Goree had to qualify for the post, just like, you know, that time he applied for the Drive Through Window position at the Taco Joe's. Yeah, yeah so that didn't work out so well, but in his defense nobody told him the window had to be opened before you passed the customer's purchase out to them.

Anyway, to get appointed to the Racing Commission, Mr. Goree had to submit his resume which we here in the marbled halls of IM Central have come into possession of, and would like to share with you now as part of our new regular feature which we just made up called Get To Know An Overlord.

Under Education Mr. Goree lists United States Navy, Highest Rank: E5, (1993). Now, we're sure some of you are confused by this as E5 is a designation and you would have expected a listing under "Education" to refer to some sort of credential like high school diploma, or Bachelors Degree, or in Mr. Goree's case the third grade completion certificate he got when he turned 18, but in his defense, this is Arizona we're talking about, home of Russell Pearce and Sheriff Joe Arpiao so you can see how the term "Education" might be difficult to comprehend.

Besides, this is greyhound racing we're talking about. Who cares about education? We need a man who has had a long a varied career in the field. Someone who knows the industry inside out. Someone who has experienced greyhound racing first hand at all its levels. This is bound to be Mr. Goree's strong suite:

United Greyhound Racing, Director of Welfare and Advocacy, 2001 – Present

Greyhound Pets of America:

President, 2002 – 2011

Vice President, 1999 – 2002

 Um...OK. Dude has worked two jobs in greyhound racing, neither one of them specifically associated with a track. Well, one and a half jobs is probably more accurate since he worked both jobs together for ten years. And that "Director of Welfare" gig, wasn't that during the time when 140 greyhound disappeared from Tucson Greyhound Park? Wasn't that when the cruelty scandal at Tucson Greyhound Park broke? Wasn't that when the track had to shut down for two weeks because of an outbreak of a "mysterious respiratory disease?" Wasn't that during the time eight dogs died from heat stroke during transport? All when Rory Goree was "Director of Welfare?"

Well, yes, yes it was, but all the resume is supposed to do is list Mr. Goree's jobs. It doesn't have to say whether he was any good at them or not, right girls?

We're doing something a little different this week. Last week we were involved in a rescue that brought 15 dogs from a kennel in Alabama up to Michigan. Two of those refugees, V's Get Reel (top) and DK's Bug Tussle made their way to the marbled halls of IM Central, where, as you can see they quickly adapted to their new surroundings. V and Bug as we call them, have fit right into life around the old homestead, and while they are still technically in foster mode...well...let's just say we've "failed" fostering before. For more information about these dogs, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

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