Get The Next Scene Set Up And Send That Bearded Guy Over There To Get Me A Latte

We have to admit we haven't been watching the Bible miniseries on the tee vee because, well, we know how it ends. SPOILER ALERT: Jesus gets whacked and a few days later goes all zombie on Mary Madalena's holy buttocks causing her to be the first person in history to exclaim, "Christ! You scared the bejesus out of me!"

Now that's if you believe Mark's version, which he later wrote Mary out of entirely. Matthew and John just had Jesus pop up near his tomb, but Luke had SoG first appear near Emmaus, several miles from Jerusalem. Unfortunately no one in Emmaus would confirm nor deny Luke's report, so the authorities are hoping someone saw something and will contact them at 1 800 Saw Jesus.

All of which has nothing to do with why we are writing this. Our sole purpose here is to once again use our mad catechismic skillz to correct what is obviously an egregious error on the part of the series Director, one Mark Burnett.

TV mogul Mark Burnett is convinced he felt the presence of God while filming new religious epic The Bible in the Moroccan desert after a timely gust of wind swept through the set after a speech by Jesus Christ.

 Mr. Burnett seems to think that the omnipotent, omniscient, eternal ruler of the universe would visit his little movie set and, just at the right time, puff a puff of wind through the set so they didn't have to turn on the wind machine. Now, Mr. Burnett we can't say for certain if Jehovah visited your little set or not, but we do know one thing, if the god of Abraham had appeared in your desert DO YOU THINK HE WOULD BE WORKING AS A GRIP! Gaffer maybe because of that whole let there be light thing, but Grip? Not a chance. Plus he'd probably want more than scale to work with you and just between you and us, we'd pay it. Look what happened to the Egyptians when they told Moses no. Just saying.