Tuesday, February 05, 2013

What Did You Expect? There's No Closet In A Dog House

We're coming to you today from the Less Sense Than God Gave A Potato Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. LSTGGAP is a division of the Too Dumb To Come In Out Of The Rain Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Inbreeders R Us, Inc.

You've probably all heard the old adage you need a license to drive a car, but not to be a parent, usually invoked when some ostensibly adult individual does something incredibly stupid while caring for a child or children. Sort of like when Kevin (I see ded babeez in ur uterus!) Swanson's parents decided to home school him instead of commit him to psychiatric care. Well, here's a fellow who would have actually been better off had he gone to Mr. and Mrs. Swanson's home school instead of not being accepted to Box o' Rocks academy and instead attending Bag of Hammers Institute.
A dog in Tennessee whose owner dumped it at a shelter because he thought it was gay was saved from euthanasia at the last minute by a kindhearted animal lover.
 Now, on the one hand we could say it's nice that there was a shelter this man could take his gay dog to, but wouldn't it be so much better if the dog were able to take this owner to a nice shelter for people so stupid they can't tell time with a digital watch? We've heard Glenn Beck wants to build one of those.

Besides, if this guy had really cared for his dog he would have taken it to one of those gay recovery organizations like Michele Bachmann's husband runs. Canine homosexuality is obviously a lifestyle choice donchano.

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