God Told Me To Take Your Lunch Money

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know the true path to happiness is beset by the IED's of circumstance...erm...we mean know that we here in the marbled halls of IM Central call the Water Winter Wonderland our home. Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam circumspice. Represent, yo?

Anyway, like many other states in what's left of this once great union of states, voters here saw fit to elect a full clown posse to the legislature in the last excuse for an election. Now, in defense of our home state we have to say that our clown posse isn't as...well, clownish as some states. That whole zygotes are people thing comes to mind, and no matter what you say about Michigan, at least we're not Alabama.

Of course we're not Vermont either, so when our own duly elected little band of unmedicated certifiables decided to tackle the issue of bullies, what did we get?

Senate Democrats condemned Republicans for gutting a supposed "anti-bullying" bill that passed out of committee with bi-partisan support and turning it into legislation that gives students a license to bully. Under the Republican substitute to SB 137, a bully could continue to harass a student for any perceived bias and simply cite a "moral conviction" as a basis for doing so.

OK, so you can't physically or mentally abuse another person, unless you have a moral conviction? Most states would give bullies a misdemeanor conviction, but you're saying if the bully can find some religious foundation for giving a kid a swirly, that's all right? You sure that's the argument you want to go with? We mean, we're not bible scholars or anything but we're pretty sure Jesus never said  love your neighbor as yourself, unless he's a homo or something, then bust him up.

Democrats attempted to move a more comprehensive bill that would prohibit bullying for any reason, however, this attempt to protect students failed to gain the Republican support needed to bring the all-inclusive Democratic bill up for a vote. Several Democratic amendments to improve the legislation were also defeated by the Republican majority.

 "It's not really bullying if you do it in god's name," said one republican legislator who asked not to be identified.