Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog are aware the jauntily colored balloons of youth dancing on their tethers against an azure sky full of hope and promise are now blown away by the harsh winds of age to lie deflated and crumpled under the inexorable tread of time...erm...we mean are aware that on occasion we have been accused of presenting a one sided view of the wholesale commodification and systematized abuse of innocent living creatures for (no) profit...uh...we mean greyhound racing.

Well, we take reader comments very seriously here in the marbled halls of IM Central (no we don't) and we constantly strive to be fair and balanced in our coverage of industrialized cruelty (who are we trying to kid?). Anyway, to counter the perception that we are anti-racing, animal rights wackos (which is actually quite accurate) we present the following interchange between the editorial staff at The Charleston Gazette and the overlords, but first a bit of back story. It seems the editors at the Charleston Gazette were a bit put off by the fact that the state had forgone $29 million so the overlords could stay out of the labor pool and they penned the aforementioned editorial titled Waste: Millions For Greyhounds. Now, the overlords may not be the sharpest knives in the drawer, but even they could tell this was not to be a puff piece on their vocation so they took to the comments to school these clueless upstarts in the finer points of animal exploitation. We present for your edification and intestinal queasiness that discussion. First up, the editors:

Betting on dog racing has almost disappeared in America. So far, 39 states have banned such tracks — mostly because animal-lovers protest that greyhounds spend their lives confined in cramped cages and suffer lethal injuries during wild gallops. Four other states have ceased racing, without prohibitory laws.

Right off the bat overlord Elaine Miller Summerhill takes issue with the blatant falsehood being perpetrated:

What is illegal is betting on LIVE RACING.

 As the kids say, oh snap! Overlord Elaine corrects a common misconception. In those states which the editors so erroneously characterized as having outlawed greyhound racing it is perfectly legal to race greyhounds, it's just that no one can bet on them. We tried to find out if there were any plans to open these bet-free tracks in any of the 39 states, but we were unable to determine if there were any such projects on the drawing board. Back to the editors:

  A few months ago, a West Virginia study ordered by the state Senate showed a colossal downturn: In 1990, gamblers wagered $64 million on dogs at the Cross Lanes track — but the sum dropped below $5 million in 2013. Yet the state gave a $29 million subsidy to dog breeders.

 Well, overlord Jaime Leach Narke (why do overlords always have three names?) is having none of it:

What that article fails to point out, because facts and the truth would get in the way of an agenda, is the money given to greyhound (and horse racing!) breeders DID NOT come from taxpayer money, it came from gambling revenue.

 Well said overlord Jamie. The $29 mill is a handout from the casinos to keep the overlords off the job market. Now, that's not to say that if the casinos didn't have to provide welfare for the overlords that money couldn't go to the state for useful things like roads or education, or public welfare, but let's not get caught up in the details here. The editors again:

The same report said 162 greyhounds were killed by West Virginia racing between 2009 and 2013, while 3,331 were injured. An opposition group, Grey2K USA, examined reports and announced that the Mountain State gave $10.2 million to a handful of breeders over the past two years. The largest subsidy, $1.4 million, went to McMillion Kennel at Alum Creek. Next was $1.2 million to Monroe Racing at Wheeling. Logan’s Tomblin family kennel, which was operated by the governor’s mother until her death, got $580,000.

Sharp eyed readers will note that Grey2K did not do the report, but merely "examined" it. As we all know though, just the mere mention of Grey2K is enough to drive the overlords to dizzying heights of apoplexy. Overlord Jamie again:

I don't think spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on lobbyists and executive salaries a good use of donations when actual adoption groups are struggling to meet their needs. Grey2k is an anti gambling group disguising itself as an animal welfare group.

An overlord  from the Alum Creek Kennel put it a little more succinctly: "They should be in jail." He didn't specify the charge, but as you can see no assertion is made about the veracity of the facts reported, no critique of the report methodology is brought forward, no counter narrative is offered concerning the issue unless you count Grey2K! Argle Bargle Fweet Freet Blek! as a retort.

Finally, overlord Elaine sums the whole thing up:

Who ever submitted this POS editorial doesn't even have the courage to put their name to it.

 We think we can help here overlord Elaine. See, when a newspaper editorial staff writes a position, it's the position of the paper, not any one individual, so traditionally those editorials do not carry a byline because it's assumed the opinions expressed therein represent the views of the staff. Hope we cleared that up for you. It's fun to help people isn't it Banini?

Banini is a six year old female who has just been rescued so we don't know a whole lot about her personality yet. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging (Thursday Edition)

Well, the official start of summer is upon us and it's time to engage in that yearly ritual of glad handing and giving lip service to the men and women who've actually had to pay the price for America using war as an instrument of foreign policy since the end of WW II.Then, on to the important business: Who Wants Barbecue!? Oh, and speaking of WWII, occasionally we'll trot out a veteran of that war to remind ourselves of what we once were, but those folks are leaving us faster than Louis Gohmert leaves Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader. It's all good though since we've been at war for almost 40 of the last 65 years, and it looks like no end is in sight so we'll have homeless Vets to avoid on the street for a long time to come, and that's the real tradition because we've been ignoring our veterans since the Revolutionary War. So the next time Congress votes not to support veterans, don't be mad at them, they're just the latest in a long line of hypocrites, liars and ingrates. It's the American way, after all.

As for us, we're going to be spending the day with some friends who've left various body parts in far flung corners of the world, so we thought we'd wade into the fetid swamp that is home to overlord toads and skinks a day early so the smell has a chance to dissipate a bit before the holiday. And we weren't even ankle deep before we noticed there was great excitement rippling through the turgid waters, as if all the toilets had flushed at once.

This year's live greyhound races in Dubuque started Saturday in front of hundreds at the newly renamed The Iowa Greyhound Park.

 After much discussion the overlords chose Iowa Greyhound Park as the new name because it's the only track in Iowa and their second choice, Oh Crap, Will Somebody Please Come Out Here And Lose The Rent Money So We Don't Have To Get Jobs, was too long to fit on the sign.

The turnout is a sign that dog racing in Dubuque won't fade soon, said one park official. "If it's fading, you're going to have to tell all the people that are standing in line now," said Brian Carpenter, racing director at the park. He said at least 400 people were at the park.

Four hundred people huh? Well, let's see, there are about 60,000 people living in Dubuque, so 400 is about  0.6% of the population or about 1/6 the number of people who attend the Dubuque Fighting Saints hockey games. Oh, and about those lines? Could you point them out to us? We can't see them in this photo:

Maybe all the people who had been sitting in those empty benches got up to go to the restroom at the same time so the lines are over at the Portapotty.

"We're very excited. We're very happy," Carpenter said. "A lot of people didn't think they'd see this day of us reopening, and here we are."

Well said overlord Carpenter. Courage in the face of adversity; tenacity in pursuing your goals; and a $32 million handout from the casinos to get you off their backs. It's the classic rags to riches story, is it not? Well, except wholesale abuse and cruel treatment of innocent living creatures for (no) profit is more a riches to rags story, but let's not quibble over details on such a momentous day.

Carpenter said the Dubuque track will hold fewer scheduled races this year but "little by little" he and others with Iowa Greyhound Association will build up interest in the sport. "We'll have a little bit of a lesser schedule, but we just have to get through this year, and then next year we'll build it back up," Carpenter said. "It'll take a couple of years, but we're trying to work on making a better product."

 Umm...Mr. Carpenter sir? We don't mean to rain on your parade, but haven't you got that backward? We mean, the first year you open is likely to be your best because you attract people who might just come out of curiosity as you are something new, like when a restaurant opens and everyone comes to check it out. After that things tend to drop off a bit, and we have to say, a drop from 400 is not likely to be a long one if you get our drift, so in a "couple of years" you're less likely to be greeting race patrons and more likely to be saying "Welcome to Walmart."

Joe Recker, of Dyersville, Iowa, said he has bred dogs for racing for more than 20 years.  "A very good turnout, very enjoyable for people," Recker said. "I think this is great. I know it was a tough struggle for the Iowa Greyhound Association to get this lined up, but they made it work and I think it's going to be a good deal." Recker said other gambling venues across the region have hurt dog racing, something he said is regrettable. "We've got too much other gambling that hurt us," he said. "If it wasn't for the other gambling, this would still be the top-of-the-line deal."

 Yeah, uh, Mr. Recker sir? If it wasn't for other gambling you'd be the only deal. He seems a little confused don't you think Coil?

I am a very sweet. For being almost four, I’m very puppy like. I am an active boy but not hyper.I love to follow my foster mom and dad through the house. I am a little clingy but I should outgrow that once I have adjusted a little better to being in a home. I get along with dogs my size and smaller dogs but definitely no kitties for me. I am housebroken. I love to play with my squeaky toys and run in the yard. I have already learned how to go up and down the stairs. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Let's see. What fresh hell has descended on the overlords this week? Overlord treating his canine charges to the highest level of care because they represent such a large investment of time and money and thus deserve only the best?

An Austin man is charged with nine counts of animal abuse after finding 14 severely underweight Greyhounds in his care that he was supposed to be training to race.

 Nah, overlord training techniques and care philosophy have been well documented. So it looks like just another week of innocent living creatures trapped in the death camps as an ever dwindling subset of barely sentient swamp lichen strive to avoid gainful labor by subjecting more helpless greyhounds to potential injury and death in the cruel and heartless pursuit of (no) profit. But wait, what's this?

Lawmakers consider folding on West Virginia’s greyhound industry.

Whoa. That can't be good. What's up Mountain Staters?

When Sam Burdette first visited the Tri- State Greyhound Park in Cross Lanes in the mid-1980s, he didn’t even know how to read the program. The sheets of paper were filled with an overwhelming array of fractions and decimals, arranged in almost indecipherable rows and columns.

And now he's the head overlord in the state.  What a success story! What commitment! From barely understanding what the sport of wholesale greyhound abuse was like to becoming its chief spokesman and advocate. We salute you Sammy boy. Tell us more of your journey.

Burdette was a civil engineer, comfortable with crunching numbers. He started keeping a notebook, making hypothetical bets on races based on the handicapping numbers in the program. “Each day I’d tally it up and see if I was ahead or behind. I was approaching it from an analytical standpoint.” The experiment ran for three months. By the end Burdette realized if he had used real money, he would be $200 behind. “I said, well, you can’t buy groceries with that. My object was to take money away from the racetrack, not leave it there,” he says. “To this day, I don’t bet.”

 How inspiring! Wait, what? Sam, are you sure that's the message you want to send? We mean, when the head overlord in the state says the first thing he learned about greyhound racing was it's a scam, that really isn't helping the industry's public image.

Nationwide interest in greyhound racing started declining. In 2001 there were greyhound tracks in 15 states around the country. West Virginia is now one of only seven states that continue to race dogs, and the sport has grown increasingly unpopular in this state as well.

See what we mean? OK, sure the decline is probably more due to the fact that you abuse, injure and kill man's best friend than the rubes figuring out losing the rent money two dollars at a time is not a ticket to riches, but still it can't be helping.

In early 1994 the West Virginia Legislature legalized video lottery terminals—better known as slot machines—at state greyhound tracks. But over time, the slot machines that were supposed to help the greyhound industry began to overtake it. “People switched over from racing to slot machines. They and sit there in a trance and push that button,” Burdette says. He likes to joke—not incorrectly— that it used to take all night to lose $50 at the dog track. With a slot machine, it can take just a few minutes.

Well, Rubes B Rubes Sammy boy, but you gotta give 'em this: They're efficient.

Although it was clear the greyhound racing was suffering, no one had collected the evidence to prove it. So in 2014 the legislature ordered a $68,000 comprehensive study of the industry. The Spectrum report found live wagering on races fell by 55 percent between 2004 and 2013, from $35 million to $15.8 million. Researchers also found the greyhound industry now largely relies on video lottery and table games revenues for its purse awards. The additional revenue still wasn’t enough to stem the decline in purses, however. 

Well sure it sounds bad when you say it like that, but we all know the brutal commodification of defenseless greyhounds for (no) profit is poised for a comeback. Just ask the overlords in Des Moines. Uh, you'll have to leave a message though, they're off begging for another $5 mil on top of the $32 mill they already got so they can open without going into debt for the first week or so.

As surprising as some of the findings were, the report only confirmed what many people—lawmakers, greyhound breeders, and track officials—already knew. “It’s not only decreasing in popularity, it’s dead,” says Danny Adkins, vice president of Mardi Gras’ parent company, Hartman & Tyner, Inc.

Oh Jeez, that's a little harsh don't you think Mr. Adkins? Usually when death comes up in relation to racing we're talking about another dog, not the whole industry.

Burdette says members of his organization are well aware of the state of their industry. “As times change, as technology changes, they have to change their business model. If it’s no longer beneficial to have greyhound racing, fine.”

Oh sure, that's easy for you to say Sammy. You quit pouring your money down that rat hole years ago. What about all the stupid people, what are they going to do? Just take their social security checks and set them on fire? That's no where near as exciting as watching trapped greyhounds flying around a track breaking bones. And what about your fellow overlords? What other career values a skillset that includes lack of empathy, willful ignorance and levels of dishonesty and disconnectedness from reality that rise to sociopathic levels? What's that you say Gunner? Maybe they could get jobs with Comcast?

 

I am like a gigantic puppy. I am very friendly and sweet. I love to get a lot of attention. I love to be petted and cuddled. I am very smart and learn things quickly. I listen well. I love to play with my toys and run in the yard. I get along with dogs my size but no small dogs or kitties either. I am housebroken and I don’t mind being in my crate. I walk well on the leash.  For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Mixed Messages Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The MMD is a division of the WTF Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Say Whaaa? LLC. First we direct your attention to this little tidbit that drifted across the intertoobz earlier this week like a dry fart on a calm day.

A racing greyhound from a farm south of Abilene has made a name for himself in the National Greyhound Association’s auction record book. PJ Burninitdown sold for a record $85,000 at an auction for first-time greyhounds Friday.

 Now, our first thought was there's no way an the overlords could come up with $85,000 unless everybody chipped in a buck, so how's this poor dog going to have any kind of a career with that many owners' fingers in the pie? Then we thought, no that can't be right so we checked to see if any banks in the Abilene area had been robbed recently. No luck. Lotto winner? That didn't compute because someone would have to spend a buck on a ticket, then there'd be no way that person could have thrown anything in the pool. Inheritance? Not likely. The only thing passed down from one overlord generation to the next is bad genes. Truly a puzzler. But just as we were struggling to wrap our heads around that idea, this little nugget came along:

For the first time in Mobile Greyhound Park's history, its evening races have been cut.  Races will now only be held 4 times a week, and only from the hours of 3 to PM (sic).  The changes were made to offset a decline that's been seen in dog racing across the country. 

 OK, so the overlords got their hands on some real cash, cash that could have been used to give a whole bunch of them a free ride scholarship plus stipends to Walmart Greeter School, and instead they plunked it down for a dog that pretty soon won't have anywhere to race. Does anyone see the flaw in this plan?

“It was magical,” said Gary Guccione, the association’s executive director. “It just all came together. It was the opposite of the perfect storm. Everything jelled.”

 Well, there's nothing magical about finding stupid overlords there Big G, it's sort of like finding sand on a beach, but since last year's auction took in $14.27 we understand your confusion. Don't you Mattie?

I am still a little puppyish as I am only a little over two years old. I love Frosty Paws for a special treat. I am not shy around people but I am not overly outgoing either. I love to play with my foster brother and sister but I will also entertain myself. I am inquisitive as living in home is very different and wonderful. I am housebroken and do not mind being in my crate. I get along with dogs of any size and kitties too. I love to play with toys. I love the squeaky ones and will squeak them until I “kill” the squeaker. I can go up and down the stairs and easily walk on all types of floor surfaces. I love to go for walks and do great on the leash. I have learned the word “no.” For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Well, let's see. What part of the crumbling facade that the overlords have erected to shield them from the real world is raining down on their pin-like little heads this week? Oh look! The free market is coming to Florida, something the overlords have demanded for a long time, but now that the beast of unfettered competition is about to be loosed upon them they're all like "maybe we didn't think this through." Dude. For reals. Should have talked to the overlords in Des Moines.  Those guys haven't even opened yet and they're already begging for a $5 mill bailout. So what's going on in your little corner of the fetid, decaying fever swamp called greyhound racing?

Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Shalimar, and Rep. Jared Moskowitz, D-Coral Springs, said it is time for the Legislature to sign off on “decoupling” and allow kennel clubs, like the one in Orange Park, to decide whether to continue racing dogs. “This is about businesses being able to make a decision for themselves,” Moskowitz said. “Florida, for all the talk about free enterprise, for all the talk about liberty, for all the talk about not having government in the way of over-regulating, Florida actually mandates that a business runs its business like it’s 1997.”

"Oh if only we could go back to 1997," Jack Cory, a lobbyist representing greyhound breeders and dog trainers said. "I mean, that was a lousy year too, but since then the bottom has fallen out. Revenues down more then 66%. It's like people don't come to the track anymore, you know?"

Oh we know overlord Cory, we know. Why, to the casual observer it might seem the people with souls have taken a look at the wholesale exploitation and commodification of innocent living creatures for (no) profit and said "You guys need to get a life, we're out of here." Of course since we aren't versed in the ins and outs of the exciting world of greyhound racing (Fun for the whole family--until we kill another dog in front of your kids) we're sure we are misreading the situation. Perhaps since tracks are closing all over the country at a rapidly increasing rate, people just don't know where to go from one week to the next.

Gaetz and Moskowitz were adamant that they aren’t pushing to end greyhound racing all together, but they believe the state should not tell tracks how much racing they have to do.

"We believe the number of races a track does should be determined by the customers, not the state," Gaetz said. "Of course, since the tracks don't have any customers that sort of tells you what the demand is."

Both lawmakers also argued that recent reports about greyhound deaths and injuries make the case that it is an outdated sport that does more harm than good. Collectively, 13 racing tracks in Florida reported 192 deaths between June 2013 and December 2014. Orange Park Kennel Club had the second highest number of deaths at 23 during that period.

"Oh, sure. Shut us down because we kill and injure dogs in a fruitless attempt to stay out of the labor pool," Cory said. "Is that the kind of America you want you children to grow up in?"

Cory said the state regulates dog tracks and most greyhounds don’t run more than twice a week. He said the “decoupling” issue is simply about whether the Legislature will allow dog tracks to convert to casinos without nearby residents’ approval via referendum, as other types of gambling expansion have required. “All of them want to become casinos; they want to do away with pari-mutuels and they want to become casinos,” Cory said.

When asked why track owner were so eager to drop greyhound racing and convert to casinos Cory replied, "Because that's where the money is. These guys are in business to make a profit. You think they want this giant leech of greyhound racing on their necks sucking money away like Dracula on steroids? Wait, did I just say that out loud?"

Umm..we're afraid you did there Mr. Cory sir, but on the bright side it's the most honest comment you've made all week. You agree with that Jett?

Jett is a two year old male who can live with cats and small dogs, and will need a canine companion. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

You know, nothing ticks off the overlords more than when their dirty little secret leaks out into the larger society of fully functioning human beings. And by dirty little secret we of course mean the wholesale exploitation and cruel comodification of innocent living creatures for (no) profit.

But Ironicus, you say, their dirty little secret has been leaking out for years now. In fact we are all teary eyed from that vile stench that has been off gassing from the bilious festering boil that is greyhound racing. This it true astute reader(s) of this blog, but what we are talking about is when some previously non-affiliated organization or business suddenly steps forward and says to the overlords through their actions "you guys are whack and your industry is a barbaric travesty that is an open wound on the soul of humanity!" Or words to that effect. Case in point: Recently the Whole Foods outlet in Arlington Virginia agreed to donate 5% of a day's sales to the Grey2K Education fund.

Now generally the phrase Grey2K by itself is enough to cause overlord apoplexy ( see Iowa, Des Moines, Pg 1 pgh 13) but then you go and add education into the word stream and it's spittle flecked rants all around! Take overlord Deby Guffy for example:

Many retired racing greyhound owners were wanting to comment on this abhorrent, ignorant fundraising participation. Whole Foods - shame on you for deleting their posts . Shame on you for ignoring the facts of the life if a racing greyhound. Educate yourselves by going to greyhoundfacts.org Whole Foods- you owe an apology to millions of retired racing greyhound owners, breeders, trainers and others. We won't forget.

First of all, kudos to overlord Guffy for spelling the word abhorrent correctly. She seems to have a bit more on the ball grammatically than overlord Betty Carlson-Jameson who blurted:

You WILL be losing customers! and (sic) is that not your botom (sic) line?

 *Deep English teacher sigh* Another student sleeping in class the day they talked about modification. On second thought though, since this is a topic that usually comes up around the fourth or fifth grade, perhaps overlord Carlson-Jameson had already left school at that point, having attained all the skills and abilities she would need to pursue a career in animal exploitation. If that's the case, let us be the first to inform you overlord Carlson-Jameson that, aside from the spelling and capitalization errors, the way your sentence is written it is saying that the bottom line of Whole Foods is losing customers. Or, to put it in a form you may find more understandable, Whole Foods WILL lose customers, and that is their botom line. No need to thank us for the clarification. It's what we do.

Now let's get back to overlord Guffy for a moment who entreats us to educate ourselves by visiting a site called greyhound facts. Being curious types here in the marbled halls we took overlord Guffy up on her invite and went to learn some greyhound facts. We learned that greyhounds like to play with toys, which, while we have no doubt is a fact left us wondering about some other, perhaps more relevant facts like how racing greyhounds are fed, how they are injured and killed, and how they are abandoned. Couldn't find those facts. Nosiree. Nowhere to be seen.

Next to hurl a loogie was overlord Lesley Roberts Tierney Ezkovich who suffers from a surfeit of names.

I have an adoption group, a real adoption group in the New Orleans area, set us up with a fundraiser. 

Apparently overlord  Lesley Roberts Tierney Ezkovich etc. and so forth doesn't quite grasp the idea of fund raising. Perhaps it's because she is used to receiving handouts from state coffers and casino profits instead of actually trying to earn her way. You know, when you've been on the dole for as long as the overlords have and you meet someone who actually has to work to get money it can be confusing.

And finally we come to overlord Dee Dee Avila who has learned a thing or two about the world as a result of the fundraiser:

I didn't realize grocery shopping and politics go hand in hand unless food related.

Of course overlord Avila, of course. Why didn't we see that? Grocery shopping is food related. That explains why, during the last presidential election, no matter how carefully we went through the produce section we couldn't find Romney's position on the Middle East problem. Thanks for clearing that up. What about you Smoke? You ever go looking for parimutuel regulations in the canned goods aisle?

Smoke can live with cats and small dogs but we don't yet know if he can be an only dog. For more information about these dogs, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Here we are on the cusp of the second most important christian holiday. Well, the catholics celebrate it too, but you know...fish eaters and stuff. And all that Latin. Who does that? Still, the wine is nice. And the costumes. Brightens up the proceedings, don't you think? Not big fans of the Holy PE though, prefer to take our Jesus sitting down. Where were we? Oh yeah, the death and resurrection of the Big JC. And speaking of death and resurrection, frequent readers of this blog will recall the clarity of vision with which they once saw the path of their lives now become blurred and the way forward much less certain and fraught with missteps and stumbles...erm...we mean will recall the overlords in Iowa who pledged to resurrect the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit from the legislative death it suffered at the hands of people with souls. So how's that going?

The Telegraph Herald reports the Iowa Greyhound Association reduced the schedule because it didn’t get as much funding as it had hoped.

Hmmm. Looks like they got the death part down pretty well, but resurrection? Mmmm Not so much. It's obvious that there's some nefarious malefactor at work here. We mean, this was the overlords' big chance. Finally they were free of the burdensome government and the shackles placed upon them by the casinos that had supported them all those years. Finally they could tell the public the truth about the cruelty the greyhounds suffered, the depravity of the overlords and the constant risk of injury and death as the dogs were forced to chase after a smaller and smaller prize in a zombie industry that should have lain down and died years ago...ah...we mean finally the overlords could tell the public about the exciting sport of greyhound racing. Fun for the whole family! Finally, the overlords could tell the story their way and restore greyhound racing to its former glory. It was an exhilarating time.

Live dog racing could have a home in Iowa for the next few years, a state commission said Thursday in issuing a license that gives a trade group authority to run the soon-to-be last dog racetrack in the state.

 Oh come and stand in awe of the bright star that has arisen in the heavens! The stone has been rolled away and the tomb is empty! Hope and promise fill the air like the sweet, sweet scent of  Hyacinth in the spring. Could you not smell it IGA president Bob Hardison! It was the intoxicating aroma of success!

"This dedicated fund is more than enough to cover operations for live racing for the first five year lease the IGA will enter regarding the facility,"  Hardison said.

Of course it was! Of course! More than enough. Why as soon as you were to throw open the gates to the numberless crowds clamoring for their chance to watch greyhounds break their legs, their backs, get electrocuted or have heart attacks, all while losing the rent money at $2 a throw you would have created a perpetual motion machine of profit. Dubuque wold have become the shining city on the hill to all the other overlords and even the animal rights wackos would be forced to admit to the lies, misrepresentations and fabrications they had used to slander your noble calling.

What happened then, IGA president Bob Hardison? Did someone look through those gates and see that the numberless crowd consisted of six guys, two of whom were homeless and just looking for a place to get in out of the cold? Did someone point out that your calculations were indeed correct, but there was significance to the fact that your numbers were appearing in red ink? What led to this IGA president Bob Hardison:

The Iowa Greyhound Association is looking to claim nearly $5 million from a supplemental fund in an effort to help live dog racing in Dubuque.

 It is not a good sign that your business is five million in the hole before it even opens IGA president Bob Hardison, not a good sign at all. But you have a plan, don't you  IGA president Bob Hardison? A way forward. A solution.

The Iowa Greyhound Park won’t hold Saturday night races in its inaugural season. The track will still hold racing Wednesday and Friday nights, as well as Saturday and Sunday afternoons. The association says it will now start live races mid-May; it had planned to start at the end of April.

Yes, yes, of course. We should have seen it. It's brilliantly simple. In order to make the money you need to operate, you'll be open less.  Nothing wrong with that plan huh Clyde and Omar?

Have you ever wondered the effect Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum had on Alice when she sees them in a forest? Twins are very close and seeing that greyhound style is delightful. Clyde & Omar were littermates and have been together for most of their nine years, so wherever you find one, the other one is usually close, doing the same thing whether it’s keeping you company while watching TV, asking for some much appreciated TLC, or enjoying the yard outside. And do they ever enjoy the cooler weather as they can help their foster brother survey the property from a shady spot and keep those pesky rabbit neighbors under control! Then rattle those leashes and they are more than ready to head out and keep you company on a walk – you never know when one of those neighbors might actually be The White Rabbit! Clyde and Omar are true “make you feel good” boys, gentle and affectionate, just being with them is enough to make you smile – perhaps even like a Cheshire Cat! Canine Blood Heros…Ask why that makes them special! For more information about these dogs, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Plain As The Nose On Your Face Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The PATNOYFD is a division of the Somebody Buy These People A Clue Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Stupid Is As Stupid Does, LLC.

It seems the West Virginia chapter of our ongoing experiment in the Dunning Kruger effect* on governance is having some trouble figuring out the will of the people when it comes to the continued exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit.

Despite a push by the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association to eliminate greyhound racing and provide dog owners with a buyout, the first session of the 82nd Legislature failed to address the state’s greyhound racing fund, largely due to numerous complications on the subject, according to lawmakers.

 When asked to describe some of those complications, Senate Finance Chairman Mike Hall, R-etarded said, "Well when you have people from both inside and outside of racing telling us to end it we're not really sure what to do. I mean, on the one hand you have representative government reflecting the will of the people. And on the other hand you have us."

The session featured some discussion on the once-popular greyhound fund after a report was released by an animal rights organization in January, Grey2K USA released a report which found that subsidies from the state’s casino video lottery profits account for more than 95 percent of greyhound racing revenues. Although the greyhound industry had a $31 million economic impact on West Virginia in 2012, state subsidies accounted for $29 million, the study noted.

"Now, I know it looks like it's costing $29 million to get $2 million," Hall said. "But that's just because math is involved. You can't really expect us to use stuff like that when it comes to proposing legislation. Come on, this is the Finance Committee for crying out loud."

Following the study’s release, the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association introduced bills in the House of Delegates and the Senate in hopes of providing financial restitution to those who invested in the greyhound industry. The Senate bill sought a $37.5 million buyout, which association President Sam Burdette said would provide dog owners and breeders a return on their investment while also ending greyhound racing this year.

"Other states have paid us to go away," Burdette said. "I don't see why things should be any different here. Bottom line is you get rid of the heartless cruelty that we call greyhound racing, the dogs are released to live out their lives as pets rather than commodities, and those of us who sucked our leech-like living off the continued injury and deaths of hundreds of animals trapped in the meat grinder of a dying industry fade away like that heartburn you had last night. It's win win man."

Sen. Daniel Hall, R-etrograde, told the Daily Mail on Wednesday that his colleagues were conflicted. “Do you cut them off cold turkey, do a partial phase out or a buyout?” he asked. “Nobody could come to a consensus as to what was the right thing to do.”

When asked to respond to Burdette's buy out proposal Hall replied, "Well sure that's what everyone wants, it's been done in Iowa and it would solve the problem, but we need time to study it so we can find a way to screw it up."

Further complicating matters was the fact that neither the governor’s office nor the House of Delegates weighed in on the matter, which essentially left the Senate as the only body to have significant discussions on greyhound racing this year.

"It's like we're expected us to take a leadership role here," Hall said. "I didn't become a state senator so I could effect positive change for crying out loud. Why do you think the people elected me?

Our guess is because they weren't paying enough attention. What's your take Ivy?

Sweet-natured little Ms. Ivy enjoys being with people whether it’s time to play or time to relax. Did someone mention getting out the squeaky toys and a ball or two? Ivy never misses an opportunity to have fun, and will need a home with a 6′ fence so she’s not tempted to find fun outside of her yard, and even helps tidy up afterwards by taking all toys to her bed. R&R time is good too, best done with her close by–naturally– since you never know when something might come along which would require some needle-nosed attention. Great company, that’s our Ms. Ivy!! For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

*h/t Michigan Liberal

Friday Hound Blogging

Now, we're not ones to take credit where it's undeserved here in the marbled halls of IM Central. Well, unless we think no one can check that is (Telling Tom Cotton the capitol of Iraq is Tehran so he'd make a complete fool of himself? Totally us. Just saying). Anyway our point is we feel we have to take some credit for revitalizing the overlord campaign against reality. Last week you may recall (if you don't really have a life) that we were lamenting the apparent surrender of the overlords to the inevitability that they were going to have to join the labor pool sooner rather than later. We can only assume that our cry fell upon the sleeping overlord hoards like poop from a flock of passing geese because no less an overlord than the oft mentioned Gary Guccione himself has this week stepped forward to once again raise the banner of clueless obfuscation and deliberate misrepresentation.

But before we inflict the febrile excreta that passes for thought in Mr. G's world on you we'd like to take a minute to comment on the accompanying photo of our designated interlocutor. To wit:

We're going to pass over the obvious resemblance to a mug shot as we suspect that might be the G man's primary experience with having his photo taken and just say Gary! You have really let yourself go man! We mean, check out this photo from just a few years ago:

Dude! What happened? Apparently being the primary spokesperson for institutionalized cruelty and heartless exploitation takes its toll huh? We can only imagine what changes the next few years might bring:

But back to our story:

The March 7 Viewpoint regarding greyhound racing in Florida was a typical animal rights hit job – long on misrepresentation and short on facts. Groups like Grey2K USA and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals know that good animal care doesn't help them raise funds. There's big money in painting the industry in a negative light.

 OK, so open up by changing the subject. That's overlord strategy 3A we think. Right G? And about that "negative light" thing. Dogs are being injured and killed, abandoned and just generally mistreated. Any "light" at all on that is going to be fairly negative wouldn't you agree?

The fact is that greyhound racing has adopted rigorous animal care standards. Under the rules of the National Greyhound Association, people found guilty of mistreating or neglecting greyhounds or any other animals in their care are banned from greyhound racing for life, and others prohibited from doing business with them.

Hey, G man. Two words: Ursula O'Donnel. OK, two more: Herb Koerner. See a pattern here? 

It should be obvious to anyone with an ounce of common sense that greyhounds would not be able to perform as they do on the track if they did not receive proper care. For example, industry standards require that greyhound crates must be large enough to permit the dogs to stand, sit, lie down and turn around comfortably. It would be counterproductive to house the greyhounds in improperly sized crates, since it would affect their muscle health and impair their ability to perform when racing.

Let's see if we have this right. Your definition of "proper care" is to give the units a crate big enough to turn around in for the 18 - 22 hours a day they are in there, that about right?  But on the bright side, the dogs are only in those crates as long as they're winning. Stop winning and they're dumped and replaced by another helpless victim...er...we mean properly cared for dog.

Greyhounds are exercised for extended periods at least four times daily, probably twice as often as the average family dog. These canine athletes expend huge amounts of energy when they run, so when not racing, they prefer to rest.

Yeah, but like we said a couple weeks ago, when all you can do is stand up and turn around "resting" is about your only option. Come on now G it's starting to sound like you're phoning it in. Give us something new OK? 

The diet fed to greyhounds includes the same meat products found in most commercial pet foods, as well as vegetables and cereal. Although the meat is not suitable for human consumption, it is perfectly healthy and safe for dogs, whose digestive systems are quite different from ours.

Really? The food thing again? G! You're disappointing us dude. Cooking man, the commercial pet foods are cooked to kill the pathogens, not the crap you dump on the poor greyhounds.  Now we're depressed. We really expected more G man. After all, you're the G man! The executive director of the National Greyhound Association, the official registry of greyhound racing in the United States! The whole US bro! Act like it. The other overlords are looking to you for inspiration. Now get out there and show us your stuff!

Animal rights groups also deceive when it comes to injuries. Only a fraction of one percent of all racing starts result in injuries to greyhounds, and the vast majority

OK, OK G. G? We're going to stop you right there because we've heard all this before and it doesn't sound any different just because the executive director says it. We got to tell you man, we're feeling pretty let down. Like we said last week, we kind of miss the good old days when the overlords actually believed if they said it, that made it true, so when we saw your name on the editorial we were pretty excited, but this is stuff that could have been written years ago--probably was written years ago back when you had more hair and it's the same load of delusional obfuscation and deliberate missing of the point today that it was back then. It's over G. It's really over. Stick a fork in him Nolan, he's done.

Nolan is a one year old male who came with his sister Nelly. Nolan can live with cats or small dogs, but we don't yet know if he can be an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

You know, we have to admit that  we're getting a little tired of reporting on the latest overlord attempts to fend off reality. We mean, every time we slide over to the dog racing side of town to peek in on the latest trials and travails besetting the continuance of their leech-like existence all we see are well, trials and travails. It's bad news followed by more bad news and then, for a change of pace some really bad news. It's wearing us down folks and by the looks of it, it's wearing the overlords down too. It's almost like their heart isn't in it anymore and they're just going though the motions. For example, take this article:

Since 1991, 41 dog tracks have closed or ended live racing. One state after another has turned back the clock on this 20th century anachronism, and it is now illegal in 39 states. The disintegration of greyhound racing is partly due to increased awareness about animal welfare problems. Cruel dog-track conditions have been extensively documented, and were highlighted again this month with the release of the first national report on greyhound racing by humane groups GREY2K USA and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

Now, at this point that's become almost boilerplate language when it comes to writing anything about the continued exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit and there was a time when the overlords would rise to the occasion to defend the heartless commodification of helpless greyhounds trapped in the industry deathcamps. But check out the comment by overlord Jan Dykema:

greyhounds were meant to run they are born to run..so let's see if they cannot run on the track can they chase rabbits and kill them how about chase cats and kill them.. can they do anything they were bred to do? or should they just be couch pets? A Greyhound is a very large animal high maintenance dog for a household. So if they cannot race they will become more rare than they are now and another breed will face extinction.. that is what you are doing to these dogs.. making then extinct.

 Really? That's it? That's the best you can come up with? If greyhounds don't race they'll go extinct? Ever hear of a backyard, or a dog park. Ever seen a greyhound with a stuffie? And "A Greyhound is a very large animal high maintenance dog for a household?" Say what? You talking about these greyhounds?

Et cetera ad infinitum...

Well, we think it's pretty obvious that the overlords' hearts just aren't in it anymore. They're mailing it in folks and who could blame them? They gave it their best shot, but that pesky old reality just kept jumping up and slapping them in the face. Still, we miss the old days when the overlords would attempt to prove, using geometric logic and advanced scientific experimentation that the continued injury and death of defenseless greyhounds bred only for the cruel and merciless industry in which they were used up then cast aside was, in fact, not happening and what people with souls could see right in front of them was, in fact, the exact opposite of what they thought they were seeing.

Ah, those were the good old days, but now it's come to this. Overlord Dykema sputters and pops like a used up jalopy on its last legs. She is, in fact, a metaphor for the whole industry--used up; on its last legs; and sputtering its way towards the trash heap of history. So long crazy overlord math where two plus two equals SHUT UP! So long ludicrous overlord science where the experimental outcome is always  LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU! And so long overlord apologists who stood against the tide of mercy and compassion like Monty Python's Black Knight and said "You Shall Not Pass" as we all walked by. You will not be missed. Hey Dante, want to wave bye bye?

Hello! My name is Dante. I am a handsome young greyhound with amber colored eyes. Just look into my eyes as you’re getting sleepier and sleepier. Good, it’s easy to be hypnotized as you gaze upon my beautiful picture! I am very easy going and love everybody, humans, cats, and dogs. I’m currently in foster learning house rules and loving it. I have great food and a soft bed. I also get hugs and kisses. I am a fast learner too and always go outside to do my business. I don’t like confined spaces so I will need access to the whole house. I am very loving and looking for the perfect family to call my own! For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will remember the slow erosion of expectation into acquiescence...erm...we mean will remember last week when we reported on the overlord backlash to the plethora of reports that they were, in fact, a raucous belch in the church of reason; a turd in the swimming pool of society; a chipped plate of leftover spam on the buffet table of humanity. Nay and Nay, the overlords cry. It is not we who wish to injure and kill innocent living creatures for (no) profit, it is you animal rights wackos! You who have worked so hard and so long to bring the inherent cruelty of what we do into the public spotlight! You who have devoted countless hours and untold sums of your own money rescuing, rehabilitating and rehoming dogs we cast off like like jetsam from a sinking ship! You who dare to tell us that we cling leech-like to an industry that died long ago and now zombie walks to the dustbin of history!

Logic has never been one of the overlords' strong suites. Anyway they're back this week with more reasons why up is down, black is white and stupid is the new smart.

The Florida Greyhound Association has decided to fight back, claiming that decoupling would not only be costly to the state, but also increase gambling. The FGA also has said that decouplng would harm greyhounds, saying that Grey2K and other advocates have no real plan to take care of the dogs should they be released from their respective race tracks.

OK, let's perform a little Ironicus Maximus exigesical presto chango on this and see if we can't clarify what's going on with what passes for reasoned discourse in the fetid swamp where the overlords go to birth their rationalizations. First, decoupling will cost the state more money. Well, this is pretty clearly an example of overlord math skills because currently the state has to maintain and support an entire bureaucratic division dedicated to watching over overlord shenanigans. Obviously if racing ended they would not have to fund that line in the budget so monies could go elsewhere, perhaps education or social services which would clearly cost...umm...the overlords because they would have to find other ways to convince people to give them money. Second, gambling will increase. This is easily demonstrable because if racing ends, all those people who don't gamble on it now will have to go somewhere else to not gamble. Third, ending racing will harm the greyhounds. This is perhaps the overlords' strongest argument because if you think about what they are saying--"decouplng would harm greyhounds, saying that Grey2K and other advocates have no real plan to take care of the dogs should they be released from their respective race tracks."-- it means if greyhound racing ends we are going to drop these dogs faster than old lady Dugger drops kids, we are going to abandon them faster than Scott Walker abandons his positions because we care deeply about them and always put their welfare first.

So, to sum up--Greyhound Racing! Motto: If you can't make money running the dogs, turn them into hostages. That about cover it Mya?

I am a very sweet and friendly girl. I am outgoing and love everyone I meet. I don’t know how to sit, as most Greyhounds don’t, but I will bow for food. I am a very smart girl. I have the typical Greyhound personality. I don’t mind being in my crate. I love dogs of all sizes and kitties too. I even live with a bird right now and I completely ignore him. I am housebroken. I love to play with my stuffed animals. I do great in the car and walk very well on a leash. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Fart In A Hurricane Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The FIAH Department is a division of the Spit Into The Wind Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Pee In The Ocean, LLC.

After weeks and weeks of being reminded that they are boils on the buttocks of society, that they are as useful as a screen door on a submarine, that their contribution to society is surpassed by an Ebola outbreak and that their so called profession has more in common with rabies than anything that might be considered valuable by sentient beings, the overlords have struck back.

Grey2K USA activists have created a distorted picture of greyhound racing at Gulf Greyhound Park, as well as other tracks across the country. This is intentional.These activists have a radical agenda that has far more to do with politics and fundraising than with animal welfare.

Now, we've heard this retort from the overlords many times and on one level it makes sense as simple projection because as overlord King says:

"More of a business than a pet." So with an attitude like that it's no wonder they see what the animal rights wackos do as a business too. When you're a hammer kind of thing, you know? Plus since they have about as much empathy as a wounded scorpion it's no wonder they can't conceive of anyone doing anything out of a sense of altruism, but here's our question: If animal rights wackos are only in it for the money, and they're helping to shut tracks down all over the country, aren't they killing their own market? We mean, if they only want to make money off the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit, why are they working so hard to end it? As Mr. Spock (RIP) would say, curious. But back to our story.

The Grey2K report on greyhound injuries was a collection of statistics that are easy to misrepresent if that’s the intention. For example, the report failed to explain that between 2009 and 2012, injuries occurred in fewer than one-tenth of one percent of all racing starts.

Ah, the old "Nothing To See Here" strategy. Don't look over there at all those greyhounds injured and dying, look over here to the ones who survived. Well, survived today at least. Each day brings a new opportunity to get hurt or killed, but we'll give you that Sally Briggs, general manager of Gulf Greyhound Park.You're saying not enough greyhounds are getting injured and killed to make a difference, so our question is, how many greyhounds have to suffer and die before you notice it?

The vast majority were minor, permitting the greyhounds to return to racing after treatment. Even in cases where injuries prevented a return to racing, the greyhounds transitioned successfully to life in adoptive homes.

OK, saying most greyhounds get hurt but we patch them up enough so they can go out there and possibly get hurt again, maybe more severely, is not a strong argument for your side there overlord Briggs, and as far as the transitioning into adoptive homes thing goes, how do you square that with what overlord King says:

When we have dogs which we cannot rehome we take them to the vet and have them euthanized humanely.

Sounds like somebody didn't get the memo.

Anyone with an ounce of common sense should recognize that preventing injuries and providing the best possible care for greyhounds is not only the right thing to do, but it’s good business.

Well of course it is overlord Briggs, but it's better business to take a dog that's slow or injured, dump it as quickly as possible and replace it with another helpless victim...erm...we mean with fresh inventory...no...uh...competitor.  Yeah that's it, competitor because, as you have said many times, the dogs love to run around a closed track risking injury and death so they can help you grab a smaller and smaller piece of a shrinking money pie. Or words to that effect.

Industry regulations require that greyhounds be housed in comfortable crates large enough to permit them to stand, sit, lie down and turn around comfortably.

 Well, that's good because since the dogs are in their crates 18 to 22 hours a day being able to turn around is helpful. Of course being able to stretch our on a nice soft dog bed, or a couch would be better, but like overlord King says, "they are more of a business than a pet" so we see where you are coming from.

Similarly, greyhounds must be turned out for exercise four to five times daily to ensure that they remain in top condition. When they’re not racing or exercising, they prefer to rest.

Sure, but when you're in a crate that only has enough room to stand up and turn around in what choice do you have but "rest?" It's not like they can run and catch a Frisbee or anything, you know?

Good nutrition is another key to the health of racing greyhounds. The meat they consume is the same found in most commercial pet foods — the same diet most of our pets enjoy.

Yeah, that's true about the meat, but you left out the part about how the meat in commercial pet food is cooked to kill the pathogens, and the meat for the units isn't, hence the prevalence of things like  microorganisms, including Salmonella spp, Campylobacter jejuni, and Escherichia coli. Mmmm.  Campylobacter jejuni. Sounds like it'd be really good with a little hot sauce, right Dasher?

Dasher is a five year old male just rescued. He will need a home without cats. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Oh the woe that is being visited upon the overlords. To paraphrase EAP:

vainly they had sought to borrow
From delusion surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Dollar -
For the slow and stupid Marks whom the angels name The Rubes-
Absent now for evermore.

Or words to that effect. Anyway the point is another week has passed and as the overlords arise and peer through the cellophane covering the trailer window on this deep winter day, when the air is almost as frigid as their black little hearts, what manner of travail stares back at them...

Sorry. Just felt like working dramatic chipmunk in there. Actually it's pretty much sameo sameo this week.

Discussions are underway at the State Capitol about how West Virginia gets out of the dog racing business. “Something is going to be done; it’s just a matter of time,” said Senate Finance Committee Chairman Mike Hall (R-Putnam).

Get out of the dog racing business. Man. Not too many ways to interpret that huh overlords? Well, maybe we shouldn't be so hasty. After all, the overlords have made missing the point and changing the subject into an art form. Just check out some of the comments on this story. Our favorites are the ones about a dog that ran thirty five years ago and the rant about tracks that closed before Grey2K came along. Kind of making their point for them there Mr. Floatingboat, don't you think? But back to our story.

A recent independent study by Spectrum Gaming Group chronicled the epic decline of greyhound racing at the tracks in Wheeling and Cross Lanes. Wagering has dropped from $35 million in 2003 to just $16 million in 2013. Attendance has declined from over 900,000 people annually to just 13,000 (though some in the greyhound industry question those attendance figures).

Well of course they do because you can't argue with the dollar decline so you try to change the subject to how heads were counted. This is overlord obfuscation 101 Mr. Reporter sir. If you've been reporting on the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit for more than a half hour or so we're surprised you didn't see that.

Hall and others in the leadership are working on several different options:
1) Cut off payments to the breeders fund and at some point begin phasing out the subsidy of the purses.
2) Eliminate payments to the breeder’s fund and the purses, but offer a buyout to qualifying breeders. 3) Do nothing.
Hall is among those who believe the industry is fading and the money should be recouped, but he’s not willing to rush a decision. “We do not want to have an unintended consequence.”

We hear you Chairman Hall and believe us, if one of those "unintended consequences" is that the overlords have to go out and get real jobs, we're sure they hear you too.

The West Virginia greyhound industry is divided over the future. Sam Burdette, president of the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association, favors a buyout. However, breeder Lester Raines believes greyhound racing is still viable.

When asked to explain why he thought placing helpless greyhounds at risk of death and injury on a daily basis in the futile attempt to squeeze a few last dollars out of a dead industry, zombie walking to oblivion was "viable," Mr. Raines couldn't really point to any specific reasons, although he did admit that the sky on his planet was pink.

Governor Tomblin, whose late mother, Freda, benefited from the breeder’s fund for years, acknowledges times have changed. “As the wagering has continued to decline, it’s time we start looking at how we continue with this industry,” he said.

 Well, if by "continue" you mean shoot it in the brain, cut its head off, bury it, set the grave on fire then build an concrete memorial on top of that to all the dogs who have died so the overlords could preserve their leech-like existence for another day, then yeah, we're with you. That about sum it up Edward?

My foster mom says I am a real lover. I love to “hug” you. I do the typical Greyhound lean. I love to follow my foster mom around. I am cuddly, friendly and outgoing. I have met cats and dogs of all sizes when I get to go to work with my foster mom who is a groomer. I even live with a bunny in my foster home. I love to go for walks and do well on the leash. I love everybody I meet. I am housebroken. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here. 

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will recall the vivacious colors of youth bursting against an azure sky of promise like multicolored madness now become lugubrious ghosts under the desultory clouds of increasing entropy...erm...we mean will recall that we have been chronicling the slow (and not so slow) descent of the overlords into irrelevancy.  And this week, oh they have greased the skids fellow sailors on this ship of fools.

Now even the Arabs have noticed.

Citing more than 600 sources, including state racing commission reports and records, veterinary journal articles, necropsy reports, National Greyhound Association documents, books and newspaper stories, the national report on greyhounds said at least 909 greyhound deaths have been documented. In Florida, a racing greyhound dies every three days, according to state records. The report also documented 11,722 greyhound injuries, including fractured skulls, broken necks and electrocutions, and 27 cases of animal cruelty, including dogs starved to death and denied veterinary care.

That' Aljazeera man. Al freakin' Jazeera which usually reports on who's mad at the king in north Wangdangistan, or what the demonstrations are about in the capitol city of Al Gebra, has turned their attention to the heartless commodification of innocent living creatures for the sole purpose of making (no) money and determined that greyhound racing sucks gravel through a straw.

Now that just has to leave a mark.

“We would like to reduce the amount of dog racing we do here,” Izzy Havenick, co-owner of the Naples-Fort Myers Track and Entertainment Center, told America Tonight in December. Havenick said the dog track loses $2.5 million a year, and he wants Florida lawmakers to change the law to make the poker rooms and greyhound racing independent of one another, a move dubbed “decoupling.” Greyhound breeders and owners oppose decoupling.

"Well of course breeders oppose decoupling," Havenick continued. "As long as there's racing I'm paying $2.5 mill a year to keep those useless bags of mostly wasted protein off the job market. Would you turn down a deal like that?"

We like to think we would, especially if it  required contining injury and death for the greyhounds still trapped in the deathcamps. What do you say Jeff Kottkamp, a former Florida lieutenant governor who lobbies on behalf of Florida Greyhound Association?

Dog owners and breeders say they have a financial interest in keeping their dogs healthy and happy. “The people that own these dogs love these dogs," Kottkamp said. "Well, until they stop winning that is, then they dump them like yesterday's trash, bring in a new one and the process starts all over again. We call it inventory rotation."

If this were not a family blog we might suggest something else you could rotate on, Mr. Kottkamp, but let's get back to the report.

“Thirty-nine states have already made the humane decision to ban greyhound racing, but this cruel sport continues to exploit greyhounds despite public outcry and overwhelming financial losses from a dying industry,” Nancy Perry, senior vice president of government relations at ASPCA, said in a statement.

 Thirty nine, huh? Well that's a pretty substantial number. So what states are left?

In addition to Florida, six other states operate greyhound tracks: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Iowa, Texas and West Virginia.

Iowa? Come on now Aljazeera.  Iowa is the Schrodinger's cat of racing. It both exists and it doesn't, and as soon as any attention is payed to it, the situation will collapse. And West Virgina? Well, OK, there is racing in West Virginia. Today. We'd check back tomorrow if we were you. Wouldn't you agree Judge?

I am lovable, bonding, and silly. I am a very active boy so I need guidance. I am strong willed. I love to play with toys. I am a big leaner. Unlike most Greyhounds, I know how to sit. I love to run and play and do zoomies in the yard. I am a real Velcro dog. I get along with dogs of all sizes and kitties too. I am housebroken. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here. 

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the If It Weren't For Bad Luck, Wouldn't Have Any Luck At All Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The IIWFBLWHALAA Department is a division of the Sunk So Low Have To Look Up To See Down Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of It's Always Darkest Just Before Someone Hits You In The Head With A Shovel, NA.

As we have chronicled in this blog, 2015 has not been kind to the overlords. We mean, when you read headlines like  State subsidies for greyhound racing could be better spent and Dog Racing Becoming A Thing of the Past and those are the good news stories, at least compared to Orange Park greyhound racing deaths at top in the state well, let's just say the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit has a bit of a problem vis-a-vis people who can count and have souls.

But, say what you will about the overlords--and we often do--they've never been a group of third grade dropouts with substance abuse problems and anger management issues that lets a little thing like reality get them down, right JJ Steinoff of Kenosha, a member of United Greyhound Racing?

To start, I would bring back the greyhounds but add pari-mutuel snowmobile racing in the winter months as an added attraction.

OK, Wisconsin, snowmobiles. We get that. But it sounds like you're saying people would come out to see helpless greyhounds caught in the meat grinder of a dying industry risk death and injury, and when they couldn't see that they'd settle for snowmobile racing. You are talking about the Wisconsin on planet earth, right?

Greyhound racing has made great strides in the last few years, with attendance and overall handle up at many tracks and the sport just had its first national championship race since 1993.

 OK, we think we see your problem. See when people drive by the track and happen to glance at the empty parking lot and the crumbling buildings, that doesn't count as "attendance." And as for the national championship thing? That's like the "Miss Universe" contest. You can call it whatever you want, but that doesn't mean that's really what it is.

I fully believe that the sport’s best days are ahead of us and would be happy to share our blueprint for future success to anyone interested.

Well, if by "best days are ahead of us" you mean soon all the greyhounds living in money losing deathcamps will be liberated and the overlords will finally have to get real jobs, then yeah, we're with you. Otherwise, not so much.

Snowmobile racing, even without wagering, is extremely popular up north and I feel the races would be a huge attraction in this part of the state, especially if used with the same interactive and modern technology that the greyhounds would be using. Only the first floor of the Dairyland building would be needed for racing.

Um...Mr. Steinoff sir? Having push and pull signs on the doors so the rubes can figure out how to get in and out is not  "interactive and modern technology." We do get what you're saying about the first floor though, but you can get even more specific than that. Since only about six people show up for greyhound races anyway, you could probably get by with just that table over in the corner. You know, the one with the wobbly legs and the mismatched chairs?

The next revenue idea for the Menominee is to create a fantasy sports app and then build an intimate sports bar/sports book type setting on the second floor of Dairyland. In the last five years, fantasy sports has taken off and exploded into a whole new area of sports wagering. Plus, it’s 100 percent legal in Wisconsin, as long as the prize is not tied to a score of the contest but is predicted on statistics. People love to bet on football, baseball and basketball and fantasy sports has the potential to be bigger than any gambling platform the world has ever seen.

Well, you may be right Mr. Steinoff, but here's our question: Why would anyone want to be down on the first floor reading some wrinkled old racing form, surrounded by drunks and people without teeth when that person could be up on the second floor being part of an experience "bigger than any gambling platform the world has ever seen?" You have any thoughts on the matter Nevah?

This lovely girl, who’s name is “Haven” spelled backwards has just been liberated. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.