Friday, April 03, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

Here we are on the cusp of the second most important christian holiday. Well, the catholics celebrate it too, but you eaters and stuff. And all that Latin. Who does that? Still, the wine is nice. And the costumes. Brightens up the proceedings, don't you think? Not big fans of the Holy PE though, prefer to take our Jesus sitting down. Where were we? Oh yeah, the death and resurrection of the Big JC. And speaking of death and resurrection, frequent readers of this blog will recall the clarity of vision with which they once saw the path of their lives now become blurred and the way forward much less certain and fraught with missteps and stumbles...erm...we mean will recall the overlords in Iowa who pledged to resurrect the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit from the legislative death it suffered at the hands of people with souls. So how's that going?

The Telegraph Herald reports the Iowa Greyhound Association reduced the schedule because it didn’t get as much funding as it had hoped.
Hmmm. Looks like they got the death part down pretty well, but resurrection? Mmmm Not so much. It's obvious that there's some nefarious malefactor at work here. We mean, this was the overlords' big chance. Finally they were free of the burdensome government and the shackles placed upon them by the casinos that had supported them all those years. Finally they could tell the public the truth about the cruelty the greyhounds suffered, the depravity of the overlords and the constant risk of injury and death as the dogs were forced to chase after a smaller and smaller prize in a zombie industry that should have lain down and died years ago...ah...we mean finally the overlords could tell the public about the exciting sport of greyhound racing. Fun for the whole family! Finally, the overlords could tell the story their way and restore greyhound racing to its former glory. It was an exhilarating time.
Live dog racing could have a home in Iowa for the next few years, a state commission said Thursday in issuing a license that gives a trade group authority to run the soon-to-be last dog racetrack in the state.
 Oh come and stand in awe of the bright star that has arisen in the heavens! The stone has been rolled away and the tomb is empty! Hope and promise fill the air like the sweet, sweet scent of  Hyacinth in the spring. Could you not smell it IGA president Bob Hardison! It was the intoxicating aroma of success!
"This dedicated fund is more than enough to cover operations for live racing for the first five year lease the IGA will enter regarding the facility,"  Hardison said.
Of course it was! Of course! More than enough. Why as soon as you were to throw open the gates to the numberless crowds clamoring for their chance to watch greyhounds break their legs, their backs, get electrocuted or have heart attacks, all while losing the rent money at $2 a throw you would have created a perpetual motion machine of profit. Dubuque wold have become the shining city on the hill to all the other overlords and even the animal rights wackos would be forced to admit to the lies, misrepresentations and fabrications they had used to slander your noble calling.

What happened then, IGA president Bob Hardison? Did someone look through those gates and see that the numberless crowd consisted of six guys, two of whom were homeless and just looking for a place to get in out of the cold? Did someone point out that your calculations were indeed correct, but there was significance to the fact that your numbers were appearing in red ink? What led to this IGA president Bob Hardison:
The Iowa Greyhound Association is looking to claim nearly $5 million from a supplemental fund in an effort to help live dog racing in Dubuque.
 It is not a good sign that your business is five million in the hole before it even opens IGA president Bob Hardison, not a good sign at all. But you have a plan, don't you  IGA president Bob Hardison? A way forward. A solution.
The Iowa Greyhound Park won’t hold Saturday night races in its inaugural season. The track will still hold racing Wednesday and Friday nights, as well as Saturday and Sunday afternoons. The association says it will now start live races mid-May; it had planned to start at the end of April.
Yes, yes, of course. We should have seen it. It's brilliantly simple. In order to make the money you need to operate, you'll be open less.  Nothing wrong with that plan huh Clyde and Omar?

Have you ever wondered the effect Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum had on Alice when she sees them in a forest? Twins are very close and seeing that greyhound style is delightful. Clyde & Omar were littermates and have been together for most of their nine years, so wherever you find one, the other one is usually close, doing the same thing whether it’s keeping you company while watching TV, asking for some much appreciated TLC, or enjoying the yard outside. And do they ever enjoy the cooler weather as they can help their foster brother survey the property from a shady spot and keep those pesky rabbit neighbors under control! Then rattle those leashes and they are more than ready to head out and keep you company on a walk – you never know when one of those neighbors might actually be The White Rabbit! Clyde and Omar are true “make you feel good” boys, gentle and affectionate, just being with them is enough to make you smile – perhaps even like a Cheshire Cat! Canine Blood Heros…Ask why that makes them special! For more information about these dogs, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.


Greyhound Lover said...

This is the most distasteful and disrespectful blog I have ever read. As a Christian who has adopted five greyhounds I have always given the benefit of doubt to certain groups who seem to border on truth and fiction. True colors definitely come out in this post. But instead of saying what I would really like to say, I will pray for good things for you. It's the least I can do on this sacred day when Jesus has forgiven me of all I have done wrong. I will extend that same loving gesture to difficult as it is.

Ironicus Maximus said...

Lady, if you think our true colors just came out in this post, you haven't been paying attention, but thanks for putting in a good word with the Big JC.