Friday, June 07, 2013

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Law and Order Department here in the semi-abandoned halls of IM Central. The LOD is a unit of the That's For Us To Know And You To Find Out Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of NCIS (Naming Cruelties In Secret).

It seems three overlords have gotten themselves into a bit of a sticky wicket with the local Gendarmes.
Three men associated with greyhound racing in West Virginia were recently reprimanded for neglecting or abusing dogs. The board of judges at the Wheeling Island racetrack punished all three in separate hearings during April and May...
 Reprimanded huh? We were reprimanded once after we squirted Cindy McMahon in the coat room before class one day in eighth grade. The whole situation arose because we had feelings for Cindy, but lacked the requisite linguistic experience to express them in an appropriate manner. Plus, Dale brought his squirt gun to school that day so we thought actions speak louder than words, why not? Father Simmons did not see the logic of our position and sentenced us to one week of blackboard cleaning. This after confiscating the aforementioned squirt gun and subjecting it to a ritual burning in the Rectory office.  Never were able to make that connection with Cindy. Heard through the grapevine that she actually liked Dale. Women! Go figure.

Well, the point of the story is, aside from some potential lung damage from inhaling chalk dust, and the hit our allowance took because we had to replace Dale's squirt gun, we came through our reprimand pretty much no worse for wear, and we suspect that due to the long history of wrist slapping and wet noodle spanking the industry usually doles out to overlords caught taking creative action to adjust their inventories, the same is going to be true of our three current miscreants. So what exactly is the nature of the great hammer of righteousness the judges are bringing down on the heads of these hapless clowns? No TV for a month? Mow the lawn? Do the dishes? Don't pick your nose in public, what?
The three men are James Bloom, James Grace and Christopher Bever. Grace and Bever lost their operating permits, while Bloom's permit was suspended for six months, according to the rulings.
Holy crap! The death penalty for Grace and Bever and six months hard time for Bloom. That's some serious reprimanding right there don't you know. That's reprimanding like nuclear bombs in the living room are disrupting, like fire ants crawling up your nose are vexing, like having Rick Santorum for a neighbor is disquieting, like...OK you get the picture. Man! These guys must have done some weapons grade "neglecting or abusing." This has got to be Ronnie Williams level stuff, Ursula O'Donnel bad, or Ritt and Steinman, you know, just off the charts evil. Man, we almost don't want to keep reading. We just know when you tell us what they did it's going to depress us for a week at least, but people need to know what happens to greyhounds when they are no more than a means to an end. If we're ever going to end their suffering we have to shine a light into the darkest corners of the industry, so we're talking a deep breath. OK, go on. What did these guys do that got two of them the ultimate punishment?
The rulings state Bloom, Grace and Bever abused, neglected or generally mistreated dogs but provide no further details about the actual transgressions.
Oh, we knew it was going to be bad, but...wait, what?
The commission provided no details about the actual incidents that led to the punishment...
 Ralph Brehm, presiding judge at the board of judges in Wheeling, said he was not allowed to talk about the cases. "Well, actually I could talk about it if I wanted," he added. "But I was drunk through most of the hearings so I don't really remember much. Did we find them guilty?"
Jon Amores, Racing Commission executive director, said there could have been witnesses to the incidents, or the judge could have viewed violations, Amores said. The commission typically doesn't keep any paper record of those witness statements at this level of the reprimanding process...
When asked if no records was standard procedure, Amores said, "Hey, writing is hard, man. First you have to find some paper and then a pencil. And what if the pencil needs to be sharpened, huh? Who's gonna do that? And don't even get me started on spelling and grammar.  Besides, writing means a record somewhere. We don't want records floating around. If people found out what really goes on at a track they'd shut us down in a week. There's a reason we don't let outsiders in the kennel, you know? We may be cruel and heartless, but we're not stupid. OK, some of us are stupid too, but that's not my point right now."
There might be paperwork if someone appealed a ruling. Amores said...
Umm...Let us get this straight. There's no paperwork now, but if someone appeals there may be paperwork? Is this like Schrodinger's paperwork that both exists and doesn't exist at the same time. You'll have to explain that to us, we were never good at physics. What about you Iceman, what quantum state are you in?

Iceman is a very sweet and friendly boy. He loves to be around people. Iceman wags his tail a lot because he is so happy to finally be in a home. He is interested in his reflection in the mirror because he sees such a handsome boy staring back. He seeks out attention from the foster family, loves to go for walks and does  really well on the leash. He can live with kitties and dogs his size but has not yet met any small dogs. Iceman is trying to learn to go up and down the stairs but hasn't exactly got the hang of it yet. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

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