Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Teabaggers! Motto: Reasons Are For Democrats

Well, here we are at Tea Bag day and, truth be told, we're not at all sure how we should respond. first of all there's the name, but hey, conservatives by their very nature are pretty clueless when it comes to any aspect of popular culture farther out than Pat Boone, and while this did afford us the occasional guffaw as we watched these very earnest spokespeople with their very earnest faces speak in their very earnest voices about the need to tea bag this or that policy, or politician, or--and this kind of creeped us out--city on our tee vee, bottom line is we have to give them a pass on this because, well, they're conservatives, you know? That means most things scare them so if they were to suddenly become aware that their whole movement is based on sex--and non-missionary position sex at that--well, do you want to be the one to explain to this lady the different layers of meaning in her movement and her sign?

Didn't think so.

Then there's the fact that we're not at all sure what it is they are protesting. Taxes, we thought at first, but then we realized that most of the people at the rallies, besides being white, were probably making less than $250,000 a year and were in line for tax cuts under the Obama plan. Even conservatives aren't that dumb, so it had to be something else.

OK, so there's also deficit spending, we thought. Nobody likes that, but then we realized that had been going on for eight years and even though conservatives are slow, they're not that slow.

Finally, while perusing the local news rag's description of the events to be held in our area we ran across this quote: The catalyst for much of the taxpayers' concern is the passage in February of the $787 billion stimulus bill, which was designed to pump money into the nation's faltering economy and create jobs. Joan Fabiano, a General Motors retiree and conservative blogger who helped organize today's event, said.

Ah ha, thinks us, so that's it. Well, it is true here in Michigan we got a first class little depression going on and creating a bunch of jobs in the state would certainly screw that up.

And on a side note, featured speaker at our little protest against the threat of prosperity is none other than Joe the (not) Plumber. Now we don't know what strings Ms. Fabiano had to pull to land such a bright star in the pantheon of conservative pitter patter for our humble state, but we do know that when it comes to talking about stuff he knows nothing about, there's nobody better.

So, let's recap. People who don't know why they're protesting listening to a speech from a person who doesn't know what he's talking about. Yeah, sounds about like the conservative movement to us.


Anonymous said...

Watched CNN and there was an incredible, 80 year-old character in hockey cap and specs. She was volcanic in her eruptions , spitting into the camera for effects. The interviewer kept backing up as the old broad kept advancing into the microphone , pumping and raising her signs in disgust, her voice hysterically escalating with shouts . Where are the rest of the Navy Seals when you need them!

Anonymous said...

The right wing wealth is at it again and they take down the poor and stupid with's the "English Dream" of needing the top 1% to beat the starving, and forgotten of the Land.
"The Queen" is in the form of all "the Royals" on Fortune's top 500 and even past Bush administrators are "beating the drums" with the Pied Pipers.
Hello? Anybody home? 95% of Americans will pay less taxes due to the Obama government. Is it any wonder ,internationally, we look like such lame ducks.

Anonymous said...

It gets better. Limbaugh is now after Obama for having the Seals blow away the "black pirate teenagers".
These Republicans are really running out of material. And credibility.

ZIRGAR said...

First it was about weapons of mass taxation, er, I mean mass desctruction. Then it was about stopping the programs to have weapons of mass construction jobs, er, mass destruction. Then it became about deposing a duly elected president, er, a dictator. I see many parallels between the Tea Party's and the Iraq invasion. I think conservatives have only one way of thinking and it's applied to everything, whether it fits or not. A kind of Procrustean bed of ideological torture. lol

Anonymous said...

The chatter online seemed to me that most Online Repubs knew exactly what T-Bagging meant. That it happened to be used as a sort of pun to indicate also the Boston Tea Party was just dumb luck. The original Boston Tea Party was held because Britain under King George III was extracting Wealth from the colonies in the form of taxes. The colonists believed that only their elected officials should levy taxes, and not nameless faceless parlimentary members across the pond.

Comparing the Bail Out to the Boston Tea Party is a stretch. Money is being put back into our National infrastructure. And not being sent to another country to enrich that country at the expense of this country.

And King George as well as other Old World Monarchs ruled by divine right. Monarchy's ultimately rest on Theocracy. Monarchs being divine middlemen.
Something that modern Right Wing Tax Rebel--Theocratists seem to forget or ignore.

And had I been able to find a baby sitter, I would have gleefully volunteered to explain all the sexual allusions to indignant conservatives who claim innocence when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth.