Thursday, December 11, 2008

In Politics They Call This Going Off Message

We're coming to you today from the What's Wrong With This Picture Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. WWwtP is a subsidiary of the Are You Sure You Want To Say That Corporation, in partnership with the rapidly diminishing sober staff here at Ironicus Maximus, your one stop portal for well, ironicus at its most maximus, and mostly correct grammar.

Madonna "provokes a crazy enthusiasm," a prominent Chilean priest said – and not in a good way. "Have you seen the way she...what do the kids call it? Shakes her booty?" Jorge Medina Estevez, a retired catholic cardinal asked? "Not that I'm affected by that sort of thing. Being celibate and all. I'm just worried about the kids. All that wiggling...her hips thrusting back and forth...her breasts, which are barely contained by her costume by the way...bouncing...her legs...yes those long slender legs...and those thighs...I'm sorry, what was I saying?"

Hey Padre. Is that a missal in your pocket, or are you just glad to see us?

Medina is one of Chile's most prominent clergymen, and as cardinal protodeacon was the man who announced to the world the selection of Benedict XVI as pontiff. "Yes, I introduced the Blessed Pope to the world. God's General on earth! God's Panzer-Kommandant!"

Estevez then began what his office later said was speaking in tongues, but several in the crowd said it appeared to be German as they recognized words like "Juden," "Anchuluss" and Kristallnacht."

Later, Estevez began his homily in lofty praise of General Augusto Pinochet, the late dictator responsible for more than 3,000 politically motivated killings and disappearances. He then shifted into a diatribe against sinful Madonna, who sings songs about boys, girls and sweets.

OK, this is a part of catholic teaching that we must have slept through. Boys, girls and sweets: One way ticket to Satan's wild ride. Killing over 3,000 people: Road to sainthood.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am sure Madonna was right where she wanted to be...always center attraction and guys" with the robes "fear that. Isn't that attraction not just called "lustful" but perhaps "honest music"....not only have we "come a long way baby", we want to "share the light".
"Thong Continent" never looked better . It's the inside of churches, falling apart.
That , and of course, politics mixed with religion. When 3,000 go missing, people do tend to "switch artists and synch."