Tuesday, May 30, 2006

That Less I Told You About? It's Really More

See, the president is all like don't be talking about us tapping your phones and don't be sending pictures all over the internets about what's going on at Abu Gra Hib because that like tips off the enemy to our plans and stuff. Makes winning the war a lot harder when we're in court all the time.

Good strategy, but he should have applied it to the Iraqis as well because when he told them we will stand down when they stand up, they took their seats like Sherman took Atlanta.

So now, instead of soldiers coming home after their third or fourth tour of being greeted as liberators, more are going in.

U.S. military commanders are moving about 1,500 troops from a reserve force in Kuwait into the volatile Anbar province in western Iraq to help local authorities establish order there. "The United States stands ready to help the Iraqi democracy succeed," Bush said. "If by 'succeed' you mean quit blowing each other up long enough for us to get out of there."

"Although I've been responsible for some very difficult times for the Iraqi people, I'm impressed by the courage of the leadership, impressed by the determination of the people," Bush said. "I just wish they weren't so determined to turn this into another Vietnam. Not that there's any similarities between the two wars. Except that I didn't have anything to do with either one."

The deployment comes at a time when the Bush administration is under heavy election-year pressure to begin drawing down the roughly 130,000 American troops in Iraq. When asked how increasing the number of soldiers in the combat zone would be explained, White House Press Secretary Tony Snowjob said, "Reporters who report on the White House announcement were subject to arrest and imprisonment. That answer your question, cuddles?"

The White House presentation was aimed at countering negative news from the region. "The terrorists can target the innocent, or the tired or the vulnerable, but they will soon get tired of attacking the Americans," said Samir Sumaidaie, Iraq's ambassador to the United States.

In a statement Tuesday, the military command in Iraq described the new deployment as short-term. The plan is to keep the latest troops — two battalions of the 2nd Brigade, 1st Armored Division — in Anbar no longer than four months, said one military official, who requested anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the details of the move. "I'm also not authorized to tell you how long they will be there either. I just pulled four months out of my butt."

"The situation in Al Anbar Province is currently a challenge but is not representative of the overall security situation in Iraq," said Lt. Col. Michelle Martin-Hing, spokeswoman for Multi-National Corps-Iraq. "Which I would characterize as completely FUBAR. Those Anbar boys are going to have to get their act together if they want to get to the level of the rest of the country."

No comments: