Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Real Cause Of Demonstrations In Iran

We have to admit that sometimes events spiral by us so fast it's hard to keep up, particularly after an adult beverage or two. North Korea, Iran, the economy, health care.

Forget that stuff.

We're talking about Miss California.

Turns out she wasn't fired for being a god fearing, Jesus loving, homo hating stripper.

Oh wait, she was.

That Donald Trump. He's such a tease.

But wait! What's this? A nefarious plot! Holy Waterproof Mascara Batman! To the Bat Cave.

The former Miss California's lawyer, Charles LiMandri, is going on the offensive against state pageant organization and director Keith Lewis, claiming to E! News that Lewis plotted Prejean's downfall by knowingly sending her lists of events and opportunities that were beyond the typical expected duties. "Dress herself. Be on time within an hour. Stuff like that," LiMandri said. "She's Miss California fer chrissakes, not Miss Einstein."

"There was really a lack for trust and a lack of respect," LiMandri says. "He (Lewis) was trying to set her up. Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler wanted her out, pure and simple. They finally found a way to get their way."

Apparently Donald Trump, the big lug, is just a kind of guy who lets bygones be bygones, forcing his employees to go behind his back and dump the mean let Miss Prejean go. Probably happens all the time.

"She had just gotten a request to do a Playboy shoot with partial nudity—this was several days after [Donald] Trump reinstates her," LiMandri says. "[Lewis] knew she wouldn't do that stuff, and he's trying to set her up."

Wait. There's a relationship between the Miss USA Pageant and Playboy? How can this be? Does Playboy fund the scholarship or something?

"Some of the things were such short notice, like that day or the next day, that they couldn't expect her to do it anyhow," he argues. "I mean come on. It takes her two hours just to get her makeup on, and if there's no one around to tell her what shoes go with what dress, well it's just a disaster that's all."

One specific event Prejean rejected was in blatant opposition to her politics: a movie premiere about same-sex marriage.

Now that's just funny, we don't care where you're from.

She said, 'I'm just not comfortable doing that.' I wrote back to [Lewis'] attorney saying, 'She won't do the pro-traditional marriage stuff as Miss California. But don't ask her to do the pro-same-sex marriage stuff either,'" LiMandri told reporters.

Right. She does the pro-traditional marriage stuff as Phyllis Shafley and the same sex marriage stuff as Hester Prynne. It's really quite a performance. There's also a abstinence only puppet show during intermission.

LiMandri also insists that if Lewis and the Miss California organization do not stop speaking ill of Prejean, he will have no choice but to file a lawsuit against them.

Keith Lewis told reporters referring to her as an "ignorant slut" was actually a hip cultural reference meant as a compliment.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's all pretty sad stuff. Truth be told, no-one cares about Miss Universe, Miss USA and most certainly, Miss California. That state has long gone having been the progressive, mind-seeking, spiritual and example for the American 21st century.
Pollution, over-population, immigration, horrendous taxing, lousy schools and physicians just clamoring to do facelifts and tummy tucks, it is no activist-go-getter state with music, minds and mentors. Nah. Perez Hilton was just one more dude competing for more of the limelight and it all comes cheap as dirt.