Friday, June 26, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know that the dawn of a new day is but a temporary respite from the growing shadows of disappointment that announce the long night of despair...erm...we.mean know that we have frequently used our pixels to point out the overlords' attempts to defend the heartless commodification of innocent living creatures for (no) profit often border on the delusional and occasionally descend into outright fantasy. We're not sure if this is due to some genetic anomaly that causes them to appear to be normal humans and yet have an emotional life more akin to tarantulas, or if they are the result of some sort of shortcoming in their upbringing---perhaps a vitamin deficiency, or lack of proper prenatal medical care. Of course there is always the possibility of alien abduction and during the experiments the part of their brain that gives them sympathy, empathy and compassion was cauterized. We're just spit balling here.

Whatever. This week we thought as a public service to our overlord friends out there--at least the ones who can read--we would reduce the whole complicated, multifaceted, layered issue of exploiting living, breathing, sentient creatures for monetary enrichment (or more realistically the fantasy of monetary enrichment) down to its bedrock core. We will strip away all of the rationalizations, explanations, justifications, and apologia and focus in on the one element that cuts across all aspects and the one idea that binds each overlord to his and her fellows like dog poop binds to your sneaker.

We speak, of course, of money. Bones, bread, dead presidents, green backs, lettuce, sawbucks, scratch, that long green with a short future. Yes ladies and gentleman, no matter what particular brand of delusional lip flapping an overlord employs to obfuscate and delay the inevitable tide of reality there is one thing they are as clear eyed about as Thea after a visit to the optometrist and that is money.  You have it. They want it, even if it is two bucks at a time, and their hope is that they can ride the backs of hapless greyhounds all the way to the bank.

And, with that as our introduction, we present to you exhibit A (click to embiggify):


Now, you don't have to be Kurt Gödel to realize that when the line of a graph drops down to the right faster than Bristol Palin drops her drawers that is not a good thing, especially if you are an overlord, and especially if that line is a graphical representation of your financial future. So, to sum up, let's draw our inspiration from that legendary logician, Aristotle who might put it this way:

Overlords race greyhounds to make money
There is no money to be made in racing greyhounds
Overlords need to find another line of work

OK, those of you with souls are probably thinking "Well, that's pretty clear to us. Thanks for pointing that out Ironicus. Can we contribute to a fund somewhere to help overlords buy a subscription to the newspaper so they can get the want ads?"

We appreciate your astute analysis of our evidence, and you are quite welcome, but there is still one obstacle to overcome. You see, while even the overlords can't escape the reality of the approaching economic demise of their cruel and abusive industry, in each of their fevered imaginations they still cling to the chimera that as the money pot dries up they can find a way to cut out their fellow overlords and secure the lion's share for themselves. Hence as long as there is one rube somewhere with at least two bucks, every overlord within earshot is going to think that two bucks belongs to him, or her. The upshot of all this is that the industry will begin to eat itself and that's good news, but the bad news is that as overlords crawl over each other grasping for that last big score, those helpless greyhounds trapped in their death camps will become less and less of a concern. 

We wish we could find a joke in there to lighten the moment, but we can't. All we can say is we're glad you got out when you did Sandman.


I am a very friendly boy. I have been my foster’s shadow. I am active in the morning but then I basically just follow along and do what the other dogs do. I am not hyper. I am very laid back. I absolutely love attention. I don’t mind being in my crate. I am housebroken. I love to play with my squeaky toys. I can go up and down a couple of stairs but have not had the chance to try more than that. I get along great with other dogs. I absolutely love everyone one I meet. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.



Friday, June 19, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

Hey that was fun last week wasn't it? We hadn't heard from the G man in quite a while. Nice to know he's still as...um...how to say this politely...let's just say it's nice to know the space between his ears is as extramundane as it always has been. There are some things in this life that you can count on. Birds gonna fly, fish gonna swim, Rory gonna...well, you get our point.

So anyway, this week let's traipse on over to a popular overlord blog and see what the haps are. The blog is called Grey2K Lies and not because the overlords are obsessed with Grey2K or anything; not because Grey2K scares the pants off of them because they're one of the most effective groups arguing that the overlords should join the labor pool; not because they're constantly reminding the public that  wholesale commodification, resulting in senseless injury and death for innocent living creatures for (no) profit is inhumane, intolerable in an enlightened society and economically unsustainable. Also, their second choice for a title: We're Going To Write A Bunch Of Stuff That Confirms Our Delusions And Makes Us Feel Comfortable Until Reality Breaks Down The Last Of This Imaginary Facade We've Created And Then We'll Act All Surprised And Blame It On Someone Else seemed a bit long.

So what's the topic du jour?

"Rescue"... What is it?

It's one little word that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people.  It is a word that has been used to inflect hurt upon people; it is a word that has been used to describe the process of rehoming animals.  It is a word that generates images of pathetic, abused animals, which then generate hundreds of thousands of dollars in revenue for some group such as HSUS.  It is a word that has been properly used to describe animals taken out of horrific, shocking conditions.  One little word....  so many meanings.
Hmm...OK, animals taken out of horrific, shocking conditions we get, but inflict hurt, generate dollars...not definitions we noticed in our Websters. We sense another agenda at play. Do go on overlord blogger.
In greyhounds, the word "rescue" was introduced to the lexicon to wound people, to hurt and destroy them, to dehumanize them, to place the greyhound racing community in as bad of a light as possible.
Yeah, uh, that's an interesting interpretation and all, but you kind of did that to yourselves there Mr. or Ms. overlord blogger.  Or maybe it's more accurate to say people like this, or this, or this, or this, or this, or events like this or this did it for you, because it wasn't until people with souls began to learn how you used the units and what happened to them when you were done with them that it was determined they needed to be rescued, but we understand that representing the real world is not the goal here, so please continue.
The people who use the word to harm and injure, and to sustain a negative stereotype, are like those who continually refer to our President using his middle name with emphasis purely to create the same negative effect. The majority of people are tragically misinformed about greyhounds. In today's racing/adoption model, there is no coercion. People willingly give their greyhounds to adoption groups who willingly see to their rehoming.
Yeah, except no: "I'll never let one of my dogs be adopted be an anti-racing group..."And as long as we're engaging in a little etymology here, about that word rehoming. How can you be rehomed when you ain't had no home to begin with? See, Mr. Webster defines home as "the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household." Now, since you dump slow greyhounds faster than Scott Walker dumps positions, and since greyhounds are in no way members of your family (unless you abandon your relatives when they're no longer of any use to you) there is no home for them to leave in the first place, hence rehoming is not the word you are looking for. Inventory reduction fits the bill better, don't you think? Glad we could help.

Yet, when people use the term "rescue" it gives the impression that the racing industry had has been bad to them. However, there is a BIG difference between a dog that came off of a track to a dog wandering the streets.... No comparison at all.
Well, that's true. Dogs wandering the street are an unfortunate consequence of irresponsible owners while greyhounds are prisoners in a system of institutionalized cruelty bred only for their market value and deserted when they can no longer perform. So what's your point?
The "rescue" terminology, as it applies to racing greyhounds, is the bludgeon of the demagogue. It is used with malicious intent. It is a slur, a slur applied with a very broad brush, on those who do the right thing to the best of their ability. It is a slap in the face to the greatest majority of decent, hard-working, and dedicated folks who go without so their dogs are given every chance at full life before, during and after racing.
Sure, if they don't get killed on the track, or culled before they even get there, but we get it, overlords have varying degrees of commitment to their dogs, but does that really matter when all overlords, regardless of their personal connection to their charges see them as a means to an end rather than  living, breathing sentient creatures who didn't ask to be put in this situation and simply deserve the right to live out their lives unmolested by your pecuniary desires?
For years now, there is a group of money hungry lobbyists in the US that are trying to do away with dog racing. That group is Grey2K.
Here we go...
They imply that the racing folks don't care and that they are only in it to "make a buck off the backs of the dogs".  They are propagandists and use their misinformation to pull on the heart strings of potential new income sources, enabling a kind of weird higher purpose for those donating.
You know, there's an easy way to disabuse people of the notion you're only in it for the money, pick one of the 39 states that has outlawed betting on greyhounds and open a track there, just for the fun and excitement of the sport don't you know, because that's what it's really all  about right?
Personally, I get pretty darn pissed off about the whole thing.  All those wasted dollars would be better served going to actual adoption groups and/or local shelters.
Oh we're with you there Mr. or Ms. overlord. We're pretty pissed off too because all those wasted dollars going to subsidize your dead industry could be put to better use as well. What's your opinion Tilly?


Tilly can live with cats and small dogs, but we don't yet know if she can be an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

Hey, you know who we haven't heard from in a while? That committed public servant, professional rhetorician, roustabout scientist and friend of the blog overlord Rory Goree that's who. Let's slide over to the coprophagous side of town and see what the old wastrel has been up to shall we?
If I told a story about one of my ex-racing greyhounds, a story that pertained to its racing history, I would have no problem showing anyone my greyhound’s tattoos if they asked to see them. That’s what people with pride in their adopted ex-racing greyhounds do.
Well, if the greyhound in question happened to be there with you of course, but we get it. You're still on about Gina and Grey2K aren't you, but since you are only writing for people who already agree with you there is no need to clearly say what you mean--sort of the passive aggressive approach to opinion writing, right? Or maybe it's just easier for you to take ideas people have already stated, obfuscate them a little and present them as your own deep thoughts. Come to think of it, that's not such a bad strategy for someone whose last original thought was labeling his shoes L and R so he'd remember how to put them on in the morning.
Some like to play the "they are picking on me" game when they themselves perpetuate the picking, bullying and harassment. When questioned, they will not answer honestly, instead they resort to the “they are picking on me” diatribes and side-step providing the simple truth.
Umm...so the answer "it's none of your business" wasn't what you were looking for? And as for bullying, how about this:
"Then grab her and run like hell!!!" That message was followed by a joke about a "get away car."
Sounds like a bit of a threat to us, and as for harassment:
SHOW US THEM TATS! And when you do show them, please be sure an independent person with no connections and nothing to gain or lose verifies this.
Not to be pedantic about it or anything, but the phrase is show us those tats, although the random capitalization is a nice example of the spittle-flecked psychosis that has attended this entire affair. And speaking of psychosis, what is it you hope to achieve by this revelation you so ardently seek in your own obdurate and puerile way?
If a dog was truly an ex-racing greyhound and those who love greyhounds inquire about this dog, why is there a need to hide a dog’s identity, a dog’s history? Why deny this or any greyhound the right to be who it truly is and was?  What is the secret? What is the fear?  Are you afraid the truth negates your fairytale and will expose a long standing pattern of deception which will come out?
Oh, we get it now. You think knowing those numbers would unlock the truth about what people who think the wholesale exploitation and abuse of innocent living creatures for (no) profit is a festering sore on the body of society are really up to, right? Sort of the Rosetta stone of the animal rights wackos; the key to the enigma machine of those who suffer from chronic altruism.

Well, allow us to put what passes for your mind at rest. There is no deep dark secret, no hidden agenda. It's simply that people afflicted with congenital empathy feel obligated to clean up the detritus of your barbaric industry, a detritus that consists of living, breathing, sentient beings.

Think about this G man: the only reason Gina was adopted was because the people who had her didn't want her anymore. Why not? Who has the real secret here? What about you Dew? Anybody ever try to decode your ears?


Are you looking for a care-free girl that can let the wind blow through her ears (check her in a car with a moon roof!) and is still respectable enough to introduce to your mother? An independent girl but still VERY affectionate? A girl with the usual talents, yet also adventurous enough to try new things, such as a cake walk and walking off with the first prize? Beautiful Dew just might be that special lady to add to your life. She is in foster, doing great with house rules, and enjoying her retirement! Come meet this special girl. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, June 05, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

It has recently come to our attention that the overlords are quite upset, and this is very disconcerting to us because we are not the ones causing them to be so. Yes gentle reader(s) in spite of the effort we put into annoying the overlords; regardless of the hard work that goes into creating blog posts in such a way as to constantly point out the intellectual and emotional vacuity it takes to participate in an endeavor that results in the wholesale abuse, injury and death of innocent living creatures for (no) profit; despite the fact that we continually endeavor to remind the overlords that they are to polite society as crotch itch is to a spacewalking astronaut it seems the simple act of rescuing a greyhound from their clammy grasp has done more to send them into a weapons grade tizzy than a whole month of our humble scribbles.

Of course there is the fact that the aforementioned rescue was done by Carey Theil and Christine Dorchak, aka Mr. and Mrs. Grey2K and as we all know, that particular combination of letters and number is the detonator to mega-tonnage of overlord spittle-flecked, bug-eyed, hair pulling, foot stomping, rolling on the floor, demon possessed, ranting and raving. On their more rational days that is. As Mr. Theil  put it in what has to be the very epitome of understatement:
Last month, my family added another member when we adopted Gina the greyhound. Predictably, greyhound breeders responded to this happy event with bitterness and hostility.
Bitterness and hostility? Come on C man. Saying their response was bitter and hostile is like saying setting off a thermonuclear device in the living room will result in stains on the carpet. Take overlord Bruce Walters for example who opined:
"30 days before Ginger decides she wants to jump in front of a moving vehicle."
 Now, set aside for a moment the fact that overlord Walters doesn't have the mental acuity necessary to differentiate between the words Gina and Ginger which may simply be a function of his inability to read the word Grey2K without soiling himself and we can see a fairly good example of overlord logic. In their world, greyhounds trapped in cages up to 22 hours a day, placed in harm's way on a regular basis, fed meat from diseased cows and abandoned at the first sign of slowing down are happy and content, but take them away from all that, place them in a loving home with caring people, feed them well and provide for their comfort and safety and they become suicidal. It makes perfect sense. If the area in your skull where your brain should be is instead occupied by algae.

The overlords are not just complainers though, some, like overlord Beverly Stahlgren Schrecongost are women of action:
"Then grab her and run like hell!!!" That message was followed by a joke about a "get away car." Meanwhile, Daytona Kennel Club worker Connie Winkler suggested that Gina's former racing owner should try to remove her from our family by falsely claiming she was stolen.
First of all, why do so many of the overlords have three names? Is it so that if they forget one they've still got a 50/50 chance of remembering one of the other two?  As you can see though, we have a pretty good example of overlord respect for the law. If they are willing to engage in theft and fraud in matters that do not affect them in any way, what extent are they willing to go to in matters that do impact them, like treatment for an injured dog, or mandatory vaccinations, or seeking help for greyhounds they can no longer afford?

Well, no matter because overlord Craig Randle's comment really gets to the heart of the overlords' concerns, and as you may have guessed if you are literate beyond the second grade, it has nothing to do with the greyhound in question:
As usual, the most disturbing comment was made by former National Greyhound Association official Craig Randle, who again referred to the near fatal accident GREY2K USA President Christine Dorchak suffered in 1992: "Is that dog trolley TRAINed?"
 Now, some of you may see the same tastelessness, lack of empathy and general assholery in overlord Randle's comment as we recently saw in Ted Cruz's joke about Joe Biden right after Beau Biden died, but you would be mistaken in assuming some sort of equivalency. You see, Ted Cruz is just an idiot and sometimes idiots don't self censor as well as they should, but overlord Randle is operating true to form and his comment is typical of the vile, classless and misogynist effluvia that comes out of the mouths of people bereft of human compassion.

We are reminded of a quote from St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals. He said:
If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.
We don't think the good Saint would disagree if we flipped that statement to make it a little more relevant to the current topic:
If you have men who will exclude their fellow men from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with  any of God's creatures.

Now ask yourself Condor, if you were one of the greyhounds trapped in the "care" of overlord Randle and he could make a "joke" about what happened to Ms. Dorchak like that, wouldn't you feel a bit of unease every time you saw him walk into the kennel?


I am very playful for my age and love to run and play in the yard. I especially love to fetch the ball. I have a very sweet personality. I get along with dogs of all sizes but no kitties please. I just had my teeth cleaned. I am housebroken. I absolutely love everyone I meet. Could I be the right guy for you? For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, May 29, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog are aware the jauntily colored balloons of youth dancing on their tethers against an azure sky full of hope and promise are now blown away by the harsh winds of age to lie deflated and crumpled under the inexorable tread of time...erm...we mean are aware that on occasion we have been accused of presenting a one sided view of the wholesale commodification and systematized abuse of innocent living creatures for (no) profit...uh...we mean greyhound racing.

Well, we take reader comments very seriously here in the marbled halls of IM Central (no we don't) and we constantly strive to be fair and balanced in our coverage of industrialized cruelty (who are we trying to kid?). Anyway, to counter the perception that we are anti-racing, animal rights wackos (which is actually quite accurate) we present the following interchange between the editorial staff at The Charleston Gazette and the overlords, but first a bit of back story. It seems the editors at the Charleston Gazette were a bit put off by the fact that the state had forgone $29 million so the overlords could stay out of the labor pool and they penned the aforementioned editorial titled Waste: Millions For Greyhounds. Now, the overlords may not be the sharpest knives in the drawer, but even they could tell this was not to be a puff piece on their vocation so they took to the comments to school these clueless upstarts in the finer points of animal exploitation. We present for your edification and intestinal queasiness that discussion. First up, the editors:
Betting on dog racing has almost disappeared in America. So far, 39 states have banned such tracks — mostly because animal-lovers protest that greyhounds spend their lives confined in cramped cages and suffer lethal injuries during wild gallops. Four other states have ceased racing, without prohibitory laws.
Right off the bat overlord Elaine Miller Summerhill takes issue with the blatant falsehood being perpetrated:
What is illegal is betting on LIVE RACING.
 As the kids say, oh snap! Overlord Elaine corrects a common misconception. In those states which the editors so erroneously characterized as having outlawed greyhound racing it is perfectly legal to race greyhounds, it's just that no one can bet on them. We tried to find out if there were any plans to open these bet-free tracks in any of the 39 states, but we were unable to determine if there were any such projects on the drawing board. Back to the editors:
  A few months ago, a West Virginia study ordered by the state Senate showed a colossal downturn: In 1990, gamblers wagered $64 million on dogs at the Cross Lanes track — but the sum dropped below $5 million in 2013. Yet the state gave a $29 million subsidy to dog breeders.
 Well, overlord Jaime Leach Narke (why do overlords always have three names?) is having none of it:
What that article fails to point out, because facts and the truth would get in the way of an agenda, is the money given to greyhound (and horse racing!) breeders DID NOT come from taxpayer money, it came from gambling revenue.
 Well said overlord Jamie. The $29 mill is a handout from the casinos to keep the overlords off the job market. Now, that's not to say that if the casinos didn't have to provide welfare for the overlords that money couldn't go to the state for useful things like roads or education, or public welfare, but let's not get caught up in the details here. The editors again:
The same report said 162 greyhounds were killed by West Virginia racing between 2009 and 2013, while 3,331 were injured. An opposition group, Grey2K USA, examined reports and announced that the Mountain State gave $10.2 million to a handful of breeders over the past two years. The largest subsidy, $1.4 million, went to McMillion Kennel at Alum Creek. Next was $1.2 million to Monroe Racing at Wheeling. Logan’s Tomblin family kennel, which was operated by the governor’s mother until her death, got $580,000.
Sharp eyed readers will note that Grey2K did not do the report, but merely "examined" it. As we all know though, just the mere mention of Grey2K is enough to drive the overlords to dizzying heights of apoplexy. Overlord Jamie again:
I don't think spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on lobbyists and executive salaries a good use of donations when actual adoption groups are struggling to meet their needs. Grey2k is an anti gambling group disguising itself as an animal welfare group.
An overlord  from the Alum Creek Kennel put it a little more succinctly: "They should be in jail." He didn't specify the charge, but as you can see no assertion is made about the veracity of the facts reported, no critique of the report methodology is brought forward, no counter narrative is offered concerning the issue unless you count Grey2K! Argle Bargle Fweet Freet Blek! as a retort.

Finally, overlord Elaine sums the whole thing up:
Who ever submitted this POS editorial doesn't even have the courage to put their name to it.
 We think we can help here overlord Elaine. See, when a newspaper editorial staff writes a position, it's the position of the paper, not any one individual, so traditionally those editorials do not carry a byline because it's assumed the opinions expressed therein represent the views of the staff. Hope we cleared that up for you. It's fun to help people isn't it Banini?

Banini is a six year old female who has just been rescued so we don't know a whole lot about her personality yet. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.