Friday, October 17, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Rose By Another Name Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The RBAND is a division of the Six Of One A Half Dozen Of The Other Corporation, a wholly owned subsidiary of Same Difference, LLC. It seems, in their ongoing quest to remain free of gainful labor, the overlords have adopted a new strategy.
A resolution approved Wednesday seeking legislation to give the state Racing Commission authority to set the number of live racing days at the state’s thoroughbred and greyhound tracks could be a first step in reviving the struggling racing industry in the state, its sponsor said.
"We've put a lot of thought in this," the resolution's sponsor said, "and we feel the best way to bring the industry back is to make it less visible and less frequent. It's advanced marketing theory, you probably wouldn't understand."

“This industry is in serious transition,” Commissioner Bill Phillips said. "If by 'transition' you mean tanking faster than Louie Gohmert at a MENSA meeting."
Part of the resolution calls on the commission to work with stakeholders to come up with proposed legislation to either reduce the mandated number of racing days at the four tracks, or give the commission flexibility to set those numbers.
"To be clear, one of those numbers is 0," Commissioner Phillips said. 
With continuing declines in both live and simulcast wagering, and legislation cutting the state subsidy of racing purses by more than $8 million a year, the racetracks are finding it impossible to meet those mandates, with purses becoming too small to fill racing cards.
"We considered paying off winners with Groupons," One Commissioner said, but we had to chuck that idea when we found out some of the bettors were trying to make bets with them."
On Wednesday alone, the commission approved a request to cancel seven racing days at Charles Town in November and December, and approved Mountaineer’s request to cancel racing in December because of a lack of purse funds. “We said, when you run out of money, you don’t have to run races,” Commission chairman Joe Rossi said of the latter decision.
"What do you think of our plan?"  Rossi asked. "We figure if we keep letting tracks close because they're broke, in a year or two none of the tracks will have any races at all. Now is that revitalizing, or what?

We like it. What about you Thad?


I am an extremely sweet boy. I am a little goofy and silly. I love to lay on my back and roach. I am very playful but a little timid. I just need a lot of encouragement and I will be fine. I have already gotten better in the week I have been in my foster home. I have not met any small dogs yet so I am not sure about them but I love dogs my own size. I absolutely love kids. I love to “hug” them and give them lots of kisses. I am housebroken and I do not mind being in my crate. I like to go for walks but I need reassurance that loud noises are not scary, like cars going by. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here

Friday, October 10, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know that confronting time, the dragon mounted pillager of youth, will leave them singed and dispirited...erm...we mean know that we have often used our pixels on this page to discourse on the plight of the overlords.  Hapless creatures, it seems, storm tossed on the sea of free enterprise and left abandoned on the rocky shoals of indifference, disgust and disdain.

Or, put another way, no one wants these bozos within a parsec of them. Regular people don't want them; track owners don't want them; even legislators--whom we must admit have standards only slightly above pit vipers--don't want them. So what is a poor, besieged overlord to do? The application deadline for Walmart greeter school has passed, and even though they have their certificate of completion from the third grade, employers seem to think that the ability to exploit innocent living creatures for (no) profit, then abandon them to an uncertain fate when they no longer produce is not an appropriate skill set for those who wish to use their labor to make a contribution to the betterment of society.

Truly a dilemma wouldn't you say? OK, you probably wouldn't say. Like us, you'd probably say "Welcome to the Karma Restaurant doofus. There is no menu. You get what you deserve," but let's set that aside for a moment and consider the situation from the overlords' perspective. Point number one: Your "sport" is about as popular as an Ebola outbreak in Central Park. Point number two: You are about as welcome in human society as a steaming hot bowl of chlamydia soup. Point number three: Your ability to obtain and maintain gainful employment outside of the wholesale abuse and neglect of greyhounds industry is on a par with the efficacy of flying cement trucks. Add it all up and only one conclusion is possible:

You need to start your own track.
The Iowa Greyhound Association has formally requested a license to operate a dog racing track in Dubuque next year.
When asked why they thought a track would be successful in a climate where tracks are closing all over the country and revenue from greyhound racing is dropping faster than Scott DesJarlais drops his wedding vows, a spokesperson for the IGA who did not want his named used due to outstanding warrants, replied, "Because."
An official from the Iowa Racing and Gaming Commission tells the Telegraph Herald the license application was received Wednesday, the final day an application could be submitted.
"We were all just getting ready to go home, the official said, "when this shabby looking fellow rides up on an old bicycle and asks if this is the Racing Commission Headquarters. I thought he was some sort of panhandler and I was about to give him some change when he says he's the president of the IGA and hands us this grimy envelope.  All I can say is it's a good thing spelling doesn't count. Oh, by the way, before he rode away he did ask us if anyone had any spare change."

Reporters requesting an explanation from the IGA as to why it took so long to complete the application were told Rory Goree had been hired as a consultant. "He charged us $37.50," a spokesperson said. "We're hoping the track will generate enough profit in the first five years so we can pay him."

Hmmm. What do you think  Silver? Mr. Goree probably shouldn't make any plans for that money huh?


I am a very easy going, sweet boy. I am happy, very smart and obedient. I absolutely love to be around people. I have discovered the toy box and love to play with toys. The other dog in my foster home can come right up and take the toys from me and I do not growl or snap. I am housebroken. I do not like being in the crate. I walk very well on my leash. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here

Friday, September 26, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the It's Never So Bad It Can't Get Worse Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The INSBICGW department is a division of the When It Rains It Pours Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of If It Wasn't For Bad Luck You'd Have No Luck At All, NA.

 Now, if you're an overlord you've probably gotten used to being a social pariah. People crossing the street when they see you coming, covering their children's eyes, the petitions from your neighbors demanding you move, all that stuff is pretty much par for the course at this point. But there was always one place you could go where people didn't get up and move away if you sat down. One place where you could be pretty certain no one was going to fling a flaming bag of dog poop at you. One place where you could be with people as heartless and unfeeling as you were, and that was the track. It was your oasis, your respite from people with souls, your calm from the storm of disgust that rained down upon you everywhere you went, if you ignored the cries of the injured and dying greyhounds all around you that is, but that was never a real problem for you was it? Well, Bucko, we don't mean to be the bearers of bad news but...
Of the 21 greyhound racing tracks left in the United States, 12 are located in Florida, all are losing money, and many track owners want out of the business.
 We know what you're thinking: "Where's the loyalty? All these years we exploited innocent living creatures for money until we used them up, then threw them away like yesterday's newspaper, and now, just because the track owners aren't making any money they want to toss us out into the streets? Is there no justice?" Yeah, it is a puzzler. In an industry that puts profit ahead of everything else--even life if you happen to be a greyhound--we really don't know where attitudes like that come from.
But in order for the money sucking tracks to fade out for good, it will take the State House and Senate agreeing on a bill that will officially untie the tracks from profitable poker rooms and rescue thousands of dogs who advocates say, are living as hostages.
"Money sucking tracks?" Oh come on, that's just piling on right there. We mean, it's almost like you are saying the overlords are parasites or something. Well, OK they are parasites, but still, have a little decorum will you? And what's with rescuing dogs that are "hostages?" What about the overlords? Don't they need to be rescued too? Aren't they hostages? Oh sure they went into the business willingly and they get to go home at night, plus they don't die as often as the greyhounds who were born for the singular reason of making someone else money, but still, other than that...
“We lose money on live racing. It would actually improve my bottom line if we stopped racing,” said Pat Biddix , partner and general manager of the Melbourne Greyhound Park.
Ouch. That's got to hurt. It's like Mr. Biddix walked up to an overlord and said "You're a loser, dude. Why don't you get lost?" OK, it's not like overlords haven't heard that before, starting with their third grade teacher when they repeated for the fourth time, but when it comes from the guy whose moral fiber is only slightly more firm than overcooked linguine, it's got to give you pause and maybe cause you to reflect over your life choices.
Biddix is in favor of the decoupling bill because he wishes to keep and grow his business with profitable forms of gambling.
Now Mr. Biddix, it sounds like you're saying greyhound racing isn't profitable.
“The truth of the matter is it’s time to quit racing dogs. What we’re doing is a little bit barbaric, we know that,” Biddix said. “For us, decoupling means stop running a business that has been losing money for about 11 years. That’s not right. We should have the right to get out of it.”
Truth? Hey come on Mr. Biddix, if there's one thing the overlords don't need right now it's truth. By the way, how can you be a little bit barbaric? Isn't that like say yeah, he makes Attila the Hun look like Mother Theresa, but he likes flowers, so it's all good.
Coming from two very different sides of the issue, Carey Theil, executive director for Grey2KUSA and Biddix both agree the best way to keep the decoupling bill from falling on deaf ears is for the public to speak up.
Hey, there's an idea. The public should speak up for the dogs because they can't speak for themselves. What do you think Dauntless? Sound like a plan?


HMS Dauntless the Magnificent! A fine looking fawn. He actually looks like a "fawn"! He is tall and lean, majestic, just like the ship he's named after. Dauntless is just an all around happy guy! He gets so excited when someone visits him or gives him attention he will wiggle and wag his entire body. He thinks the world is an adventure and he would love to share it with a family. He does great with understanding what you want him to do at the kennel. He is doing great at the kennel but he has not been in a foster or a home yet , so he will need to adjust to that. He is very smart and wants to please and he adores people! Plus... Canine Blood Hero... Ask why that makes me special! For more information about these dogs, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will recall the deep, cool lake of days in which you swam in your youth now that you look upon the barren shores of the now and feel the desiccating wind of time on your face...erm...we mean will remember overlord extraordinaire and friend of the blog James "Barney" O'Donnell. When last we looked in on James "Barney" he had gotten himself in a bit of a pickle with the local Gendarmes due to his creative approach to complying with state regulations and his rather loose interpretation of required vaccinations.

"Well, I'm sure the Vet would have signed the forms if he hadn't up and died," James "Barney" told reporters at the time. And as for the anabolic steroids, including testosterone, boldenone, and androstenedione, how am I supposed to tell that stuff apart? Have you seen the print on those little bottles? Who can read that? I'm 84 years old, you know. My eyes ain't what they used to be."

OK, that is a point James "Barney." And since the retirement plan for overlords is only slightly better than it is for the greyhounds, in that you get to live, we understand why you're still trying to suck a couple bucks off your fellow senior citizens instead of playing Bocci Ball and flirting with the ladies who still have most of their teeth at the local retirement community. Still, rules are rules and if you do the crime you have to do the time, right  Department of Business and Professional Regulation?
Since 1995, O'Donnell has been charged with nine public (noncriminal) complaints, including animal abuse. He's been either reprimanded or fined three times, according to state records.
Ouch. This isn't good James "Barney." We understand that being a serial screw-up is the price of admission to a career as an exploiter of innocent living creatures, but here on the outside where people with hearts bigger than raisins live it's not commonly considered a positive trait. We're afraid you're about to feel the hammer of justice come upside your empty overlord head. "DBPR, what say you?
On July 3, the state renewed O'Donnell's license to race dogs for three more years.
We're sorry James "Barney," but you brought this on yourself. Now you can look forward to a few years of saying "Welcome to Walmart" until you finally...wait, what?
Three years after the allegations of forgery, the case status remains "open." The steroid case was closed with no action taken. According to Carey Thiel, president of the animal-rights group GREY2K, this is caused by a lag in the system that's unique to Florida. In any other state, he says, an investigation would take about two months...
"In most states it's innocent until proven guilty,: Thiel said. "In Florida it's innocent until everyone either dies or moves away."
Tajiana Ancora-Brown, director of communications for the DBPR, chalks the lag up to due process. "The timeline is dependent upon the Administrative Procedures Act and other external factors," she says.
When asked to detail those "external factors" Ancora-Brown said, "Well, the staff is drunk most of the time. Add to that the fact that they don't really know where the tracks are because they've never been to any of them and it gets to be a real challenge."

Yeah, we see your dilemma. Still you're kind of letting us down you know? If the state won't step in and do its job where are we to turn?
O'Donnell's reputation has been ruined. He's been banned from working at Mardi Gras Casino in Hallandale Beach, for instance, as well as at Best Bet in Jacksonville.
Oh that's just piling on right there. We mean, when you're such a lousy overlord that even the other overlords don't want you around anymore it's time to start that new career as a returnable can and bottle collector.
On July 3, the state renewed O'Donnell's license to race dogs for three more years.
Right. We forgot about that. So the overlords don't want James "Barney" around, but the state says he's good to go. Looks like somebody has some 'splainin' to do, don't you think boys?


 
 
 Have you ever wondered the effect Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum had on Alice when she sees them in a forest? Twins are very close and seeing that greyhound style is delightful. Clyde & Omar were littermates and have been together for most of their nine years, so wherever you find one, the other one is usually close, doing the same thing whether it's keeping you company while watching TV, asking for some much appreciated TLC, or enjoying the yard outside. And do they ever enjoy the cooler weather as they can help their foster brother survey the property from a shady spot and keep those pesky rabbit neighbors under control! Then rattle those leashes and they are more than ready to head out and keep you company on a walk - you never know when one of those neighbors might actually be The White Rabbit! Clyde and Omar are true "make you feel good" boys, gentle and affectionate, just being with them is enough to make you smile - perhaps even like a Cheshire Cat! Canine Blood Heros...Ask why that makes them special! For more information about these dogs, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Friday Hound Blogging

Ah, free enterprise. The vitamin that makes America strong; the steel in her steely gaze; the jaunt in her jaunty step; the pot of gold at the end of her rainbow; the catcher in her dream catcher; the awe in her awesome; the wind in her sails; and on president's day, the wind in her sales. Get it? Sails and "sales?" We crack us up.

Anyway, the point is that here in these United States we believe that a man (if you're a republican) or a woman (if you're virtually anyone else) should be able to pursue their fortune free of intrusive government regulations. Let the chips fall where they may, we say. With great risk comes great reward and the only drawback we see is that the word entrepreneur is French. How that happened we haven't a clue. We blame Obama. And no class of entrepreneurs (for lack of a more manly sounding word) epitomizes that can do spirit; no group of plucky adventurers rises more to the call; no collection of ne'er do wells, felons, and other unsavory characters more epitomizes these qualities than the overlords. Now, frequent reader(s) of this blog will recall that acquiescence is the balm of age...erm...we mean will recall that the overlords have long railed against the onerous hand of government regulation bearing down on them like a paperwork run away train. "Set us free," they cry. "Let us fly." "Cut this albatross of government from around our necks." And there has been no more eloquent champion of the overlord desire for freedom from government than Sam Burdette, president of the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association.
Representatives of thoroughbred and greyhound breeders told West Virginia legislators Wednesday that cutbacks in state subsidies of racing purses are devastating the racing industry in the state. “For all of us, it’s been disastrous,” said Sam Burdette, president of the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association, discussing cuts in racing subsidies, the most recent being a 10 percent reduction enacted during the regular session.
Right on Sam the man! Speak truth to power. Demand the shackles be cut, the chains undone. You tell them...wait, what?
Burdette provided members of the Joint Standing Committee on Finance with charts comparing total greyhound racing purses at the Mardi Gras racetrack for the first week of September in 2010, 2012, and 2014, showing how they’ve fallen from $98,041, to $84,839, and down to $61,721 this year. Meanwhile, he said, the share of weekly purses going to greyhound owners has fallen from $34,685 in 2010 to $18,161 this year.
OK, so if we're hearing you right Sammy, you're saying the state needs to give you more money or you'll have to stop having races that nobody comes to. That about right?
Burdette said it takes a minimum of $3,000 a week to operate a greyhound kennel — and only three of the 17 kennels racing at Mardi Gras reached that amount last week. “Only three of 17 kennels made enough money to exist,” he told committee members, adding, “Most of you understand you cannot run a business on less than $3,000 a week, and that’s the result of this legislation.”
 Well, you certainly have made that very clear, Sammy, and we understand completely. Our question though, is why is the state responsible for keeping your overlord butt afloat?
Sen. Clark Barnes, R-Randolph, noted that the management of the state’s four racetrack casinos were conspicuously absent — both at Wednesday’s interim meeting and during legislative debate on the 10 percent purse subsidy cut-back this spring.
“What I see seriously lacking here today and throughout the legislative process are the tracks themselves. I don’t see the tracks going to bat for you guys,” Barnes said. “Rumor has it, they would like to get rid of it.
 Umm...Senator Barnes sir? Are you sure that's just a "rumor" you've heard?
Barnes said afterward it appears the casino management would not be upset if racing became unsustainable because of repeated funding cuts.
Yeah. That's what we thought.  So, to recap: The people don't want to see innocent living creatures exploited for (no) profit; the track owners don't want to keep reaching into their pockets to keep the overlords out of the labor pool; and the legislature is tired of pouring money down a rat hole so the rats can keep up the wholesale abuse and neglect of helpless greyhounds. That about cover it Nebulosity?


I am a very laid-back and calm boy. I am very subdued. I am gentle and sweet. I am getting more confident and learning what home life is all about. I am housebroken. I ride great in the car. I love to go for walks and I am a very good boy on the leash. I love to run in the yard and play. I am good with dogs of all sizes. I don’t like being by myself so I need to be in a home with another dog or with someone that doesn’t work. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.