Friday, March 20, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

Now, we're not ones to take credit where it's undeserved here in the marbled halls of IM Central. Well, unless we think no one can check that is (Telling Tom Cotton the capitol of Iraq is Tehran so he'd make a complete fool of himself? Totally us. Just saying). Anyway our point is we feel we have to take some credit for revitalizing the overlord campaign against reality. Last week you may recall (if you don't really have a life) that we were lamenting the apparent surrender of the overlords to the inevitability that they were going to have to join the labor pool sooner rather than later. We can only assume that our cry fell upon the sleeping overlord hoards like poop from a flock of passing geese because no less an overlord than the oft mentioned Gary Guccione himself has this week stepped forward to once again raise the banner of clueless obfuscation and deliberate misrepresentation.

But before we inflict the febrile excreta that passes for thought in Mr. G's world on you we'd like to take a minute to comment on the accompanying photo of our designated interlocutor. To wit:


We're going to pass over the obvious resemblance to a mug shot as we suspect that might be the G man's primary experience with having his photo taken and just say Gary! You have really let yourself go man! We mean, check out this photo from just a few years ago:

Dude! What happened? Apparently being the primary spokesperson for institutionalized cruelty and heartless exploitation takes its toll huh? We can only imagine what changes the next few years might bring:

But back to our story:
The March 7 Viewpoint regarding greyhound racing in Florida was a typical animal rights hit job – long on misrepresentation and short on facts. Groups like Grey2K USA and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals know that good animal care doesn't help them raise funds. There's big money in painting the industry in a negative light.
 OK, so open up by changing the subject. That's overlord strategy 3A we think. Right G? And about that "negative light" thing. Dogs are being injured and killed, abandoned and just generally mistreated. Any "light" at all on that is going to be fairly negative wouldn't you agree?
The fact is that greyhound racing has adopted rigorous animal care standards. Under the rules of the National Greyhound Association, people found guilty of mistreating or neglecting greyhounds or any other animals in their care are banned from greyhound racing for life, and others prohibited from doing business with them.
Hey, G man. Two words: Ursula O'Donnel. OK, two more: Herb Koerner. See a pattern here? 
It should be obvious to anyone with an ounce of common sense that greyhounds would not be able to perform as they do on the track if they did not receive proper care. For example, industry standards require that greyhound crates must be large enough to permit the dogs to stand, sit, lie down and turn around comfortably. It would be counterproductive to house the greyhounds in improperly sized crates, since it would affect their muscle health and impair their ability to perform when racing.
Let's see if we have this right. Your definition of "proper care" is to give the units a crate big enough to turn around in for the 18 - 22 hours a day they are in there, that about right?  But on the bright side, the dogs are only in those crates as long as they're winning. Stop winning and they're dumped and replaced by another helpless victim...er...we mean properly cared for dog.
Greyhounds are exercised for extended periods at least four times daily, probably twice as often as the average family dog. These canine athletes expend huge amounts of energy when they run, so when not racing, they prefer to rest.
Yeah, but like we said a couple weeks ago, when all you can do is stand up and turn around "resting" is about your only option. Come on now G it's starting to sound like you're phoning it in. Give us something new OK? 
The diet fed to greyhounds includes the same meat products found in most commercial pet foods, as well as vegetables and cereal. Although the meat is not suitable for human consumption, it is perfectly healthy and safe for dogs, whose digestive systems are quite different from ours.
Really? The food thing again? G! You're disappointing us dude. Cooking man, the commercial pet foods are cooked to kill the pathogens, not the crap you dump on the poor greyhounds.  Now we're depressed. We really expected more G man. After all, you're the G man! The executive director of the National Greyhound Association, the official registry of greyhound racing in the United States! The whole US bro! Act like it. The other overlords are looking to you for inspiration. Now get out there and show us your stuff!
Animal rights groups also deceive when it comes to injuries. Only a fraction of one percent of all racing starts result in injuries to greyhounds, and the vast majority
OK, OK G. G? We're going to stop you right there because we've heard all this before and it doesn't sound any different just because the executive director says it. We got to tell you man, we're feeling pretty let down. Like we said last week, we kind of miss the good old days when the overlords actually believed if they said it, that made it true, so when we saw your name on the editorial we were pretty excited, but this is stuff that could have been written years ago--probably was written years ago back when you had more hair and it's the same load of delusional obfuscation and deliberate missing of the point today that it was back then. It's over G. It's really over. Stick a fork in him Nolan, he's done.


Nolan is a one year old male who came with his sister Nelly. Nolan can live with cats or small dogs, but we don't yet know if he can be an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

You know, we have to admit that  we're getting a little tired of reporting on the latest overlord attempts to fend off reality. We mean, every time we slide over to the dog racing side of town to peek in on the latest trials and travails besetting the continuance of their leech-like existence all we see are well, trials and travails. It's bad news followed by more bad news and then, for a change of pace some really bad news. It's wearing us down folks and by the looks of it, it's wearing the overlords down too. It's almost like their heart isn't in it anymore and they're just going though the motions. For example, take this article:
Since 1991, 41 dog tracks have closed or ended live racing. One state after another has turned back the clock on this 20th century anachronism, and it is now illegal in 39 states. The disintegration of greyhound racing is partly due to increased awareness about animal welfare problems. Cruel dog-track conditions have been extensively documented, and were highlighted again this month with the release of the first national report on greyhound racing by humane groups GREY2K USA and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
Now, at this point that's become almost boilerplate language when it comes to writing anything about the continued exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit and there was a time when the overlords would rise to the occasion to defend the heartless commodification of helpless greyhounds trapped in the industry deathcamps. But check out the comment by overlord Jan Dykema:
greyhounds were meant to run they are born to run..so let's see if they cannot run on the track can they chase rabbits and kill them how about chase cats and kill them.. can they do anything they were bred to do? or should they just be couch pets? A Greyhound is a very large animal high maintenance dog for a household. So if they cannot race they will become more rare than they are now and another breed will face extinction.. that is what you are doing to these dogs.. making then extinct.
 Really? That's it? That's the best you can come up with? If greyhounds don't race they'll go extinct? Ever hear of a backyard, or a dog park. Ever seen a greyhound with a stuffie? And "A Greyhound is a very large animal high maintenance dog for a household?" Say what? You talking about these greyhounds?





Et cetera ad infinitum...

Well, we think it's pretty obvious that the overlords' hearts just aren't in it anymore. They're mailing it in folks and who could blame them? They gave it their best shot, but that pesky old reality just kept jumping up and slapping them in the face. Still, we miss the old days when the overlords would attempt to prove, using geometric logic and advanced scientific experimentation that the continued injury and death of defenseless greyhounds bred only for the cruel and merciless industry in which they were used up then cast aside was, in fact, not happening and what people with souls could see right in front of them was, in fact, the exact opposite of what they thought they were seeing.

Ah, those were the good old days, but now it's come to this. Overlord Dykema sputters and pops like a used up jalopy on its last legs. She is, in fact, a metaphor for the whole industry--used up; on its last legs; and sputtering its way towards the trash heap of history. So long crazy overlord math where two plus two equals SHUT UP! So long ludicrous overlord science where the experimental outcome is always  LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU! And so long overlord apologists who stood against the tide of mercy and compassion like Monty Python's Black Knight and said "You Shall Not Pass" as we all walked by. You will not be missed. Hey Dante, want to wave bye bye?

Hello! My name is Dante. I am a handsome young greyhound with amber colored eyes. Just look into my eyes as you’re getting sleepier and sleepier. Good, it’s easy to be hypnotized as you gaze upon my beautiful picture! I am very easy going and love everybody, humans, cats, and dogs. I’m currently in foster learning house rules and loving it. I have great food and a soft bed. I also get hugs and kisses. I am a fast learner too and always go outside to do my business. I don’t like confined spaces so I will need access to the whole house. I am very loving and looking for the perfect family to call my own! For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, March 06, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will remember the slow erosion of expectation into acquiescence...erm...we mean will remember last week when we reported on the overlord backlash to the plethora of reports that they were, in fact, a raucous belch in the church of reason; a turd in the swimming pool of society; a chipped plate of leftover spam on the buffet table of humanity. Nay and Nay, the overlords cry. It is not we who wish to injure and kill innocent living creatures for (no) profit, it is you animal rights wackos! You who have worked so hard and so long to bring the inherent cruelty of what we do into the public spotlight! You who have devoted countless hours and untold sums of your own money rescuing, rehabilitating and rehoming dogs we cast off like like jetsam from a sinking ship! You who dare to tell us that we cling leech-like to an industry that died long ago and now zombie walks to the dustbin of history!

Logic has never been one of the overlords' strong suites. Anyway they're back this week with more reasons why up is down, black is white and stupid is the new smart.
The Florida Greyhound Association has decided to fight back, claiming that decoupling would not only be costly to the state, but also increase gambling. The FGA also has said that decouplng would harm greyhounds, saying that Grey2K and other advocates have no real plan to take care of the dogs should they be released from their respective race tracks.
OK, let's perform a little Ironicus Maximus exigesical presto chango on this and see if we can't clarify what's going on with what passes for reasoned discourse in the fetid swamp where the overlords go to birth their rationalizations. First, decoupling will cost the state more money. Well, this is pretty clearly an example of overlord math skills because currently the state has to maintain and support an entire bureaucratic division dedicated to watching over overlord shenanigans. Obviously if racing ended they would not have to fund that line in the budget so monies could go elsewhere, perhaps education or social services which would clearly cost...umm...the overlords because they would have to find other ways to convince people to give them money. Second, gambling will increase. This is easily demonstrable because if racing ends, all those people who don't gamble on it now will have to go somewhere else to not gamble. Third, ending racing will harm the greyhounds. This is perhaps the overlords' strongest argument because if you think about what they are saying--"decouplng would harm greyhounds, saying that Grey2K and other advocates have no real plan to take care of the dogs should they be released from their respective race tracks."-- it means if greyhound racing ends we are going to drop these dogs faster than old lady Dugger drops kids, we are going to abandon them faster than Scott Walker abandons his positions because we care deeply about them and always put their welfare first.

So, to sum up--Greyhound Racing! Motto: If you can't make money running the dogs, turn them into hostages. That about cover it Mya?


I am a very sweet and friendly girl. I am outgoing and love everyone I meet. I don’t know how to sit, as most Greyhounds don’t, but I will bow for food. I am a very smart girl. I have the typical Greyhound personality. I don’t mind being in my crate. I love dogs of all sizes and kitties too. I even live with a bird right now and I completely ignore him. I am housebroken. I love to play with my stuffed animals. I do great in the car and walk very well on a leash. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, February 27, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Fart In A Hurricane Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The FIAH Department is a division of the Spit Into The Wind Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Pee In The Ocean, LLC.

After weeks and weeks of being reminded that they are boils on the buttocks of society, that they are as useful as a screen door on a submarine, that their contribution to society is surpassed by an Ebola outbreak and that their so called profession has more in common with rabies than anything that might be considered valuable by sentient beings, the overlords have struck back.
Grey2K USA activists have created a distorted picture of greyhound racing at Gulf Greyhound Park, as well as other tracks across the country. This is intentional.These activists have a radical agenda that has far more to do with politics and fundraising than with animal welfare.
Now, we've heard this retort from the overlords many times and on one level it makes sense as simple projection because as overlord King says:

"More of a business than a pet." So with an attitude like that it's no wonder they see what the animal rights wackos do as a business too. When you're a hammer kind of thing, you know? Plus since they have about as much empathy as a wounded scorpion it's no wonder they can't conceive of anyone doing anything out of a sense of altruism, but here's our question: If animal rights wackos are only in it for the money, and they're helping to shut tracks down all over the country, aren't they killing their own market? We mean, if they only want to make money off the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit, why are they working so hard to end it? As Mr. Spock (RIP) would say, curious. But back to our story.
The Grey2K report on greyhound injuries was a collection of statistics that are easy to misrepresent if that’s the intention. For example, the report failed to explain that between 2009 and 2012, injuries occurred in fewer than one-tenth of one percent of all racing starts.
Ah, the old "Nothing To See Here" strategy. Don't look over there at all those greyhounds injured and dying, look over here to the ones who survived. Well, survived today at least. Each day brings a new opportunity to get hurt or killed, but we'll give you that Sally Briggs, general manager of Gulf Greyhound Park.You're saying not enough greyhounds are getting injured and killed to make a difference, so our question is, how many greyhounds have to suffer and die before you notice it?
The vast majority were minor, permitting the greyhounds to return to racing after treatment. Even in cases where injuries prevented a return to racing, the greyhounds transitioned successfully to life in adoptive homes.
OK, saying most greyhounds get hurt but we patch them up enough so they can go out there and possibly get hurt again, maybe more severely, is not a strong argument for your side there overlord Briggs, and as far as the transitioning into adoptive homes thing goes, how do you square that with what overlord King says:
When we have dogs which we cannot rehome we take them to the vet and have them euthanized humanely.
Sounds like somebody didn't get the memo.
Anyone with an ounce of common sense should recognize that preventing injuries and providing the best possible care for greyhounds is not only the right thing to do, but it’s good business.
Well of course it is overlord Briggs, but it's better business to take a dog that's slow or injured, dump it as quickly as possible and replace it with another helpless victim...erm...we mean with fresh inventory...no...uh...competitor.  Yeah that's it, competitor because, as you have said many times, the dogs love to run around a closed track risking injury and death so they can help you grab a smaller and smaller piece of a shrinking money pie. Or words to that effect.
Industry regulations require that greyhounds be housed in comfortable crates large enough to permit them to stand, sit, lie down and turn around comfortably.
 Well, that's good because since the dogs are in their crates 18 to 22 hours a day being able to turn around is helpful. Of course being able to stretch our on a nice soft dog bed, or a couch would be better, but like overlord King says, "they are more of a business than a pet" so we see where you are coming from.
Similarly, greyhounds must be turned out for exercise four to five times daily to ensure that they remain in top condition. When they’re not racing or exercising, they prefer to rest.
Sure, but when you're in a crate that only has enough room to stand up and turn around in what choice do you have but "rest?" It's not like they can run and catch a Frisbee or anything, you know?
Good nutrition is another key to the health of racing greyhounds. The meat they consume is the same found in most commercial pet foods — the same diet most of our pets enjoy.
Yeah, that's true about the meat, but you left out the part about how the meat in commercial pet food is cooked to kill the pathogens, and the meat for the units isn't, hence the prevalence of things like  microorganisms, including Salmonella spp, Campylobacter jejuni, and Escherichia coli. Mmmm.  Campylobacter jejuni. Sounds like it'd be really good with a little hot sauce, right Dasher?

Dasher is a five year old male just rescued. He will need a home without cats. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

Oh the woe that is being visited upon the overlords. To paraphrase EAP:
vainly they had sought to borrow
From delusion surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Dollar -
For the slow and stupid Marks whom the angels name The Rubes-
Absent now for evermore.
Or words to that effect. Anyway the point is another week has passed and as the overlords arise and peer through the cellophane covering the trailer window on this deep winter day, when the air is almost as frigid as their black little hearts, what manner of travail stares back at them...


Sorry. Just felt like working dramatic chipmunk in there. Actually it's pretty much sameo sameo this week.
Discussions are underway at the State Capitol about how West Virginia gets out of the dog racing business. “Something is going to be done; it’s just a matter of time,” said Senate Finance Committee Chairman Mike Hall (R-Putnam).
Get out of the dog racing business. Man. Not too many ways to interpret that huh overlords? Well, maybe we shouldn't be so hasty. After all, the overlords have made missing the point and changing the subject into an art form. Just check out some of the comments on this story. Our favorites are the ones about a dog that ran thirty five years ago and the rant about tracks that closed before Grey2K came along. Kind of making their point for them there Mr. Floatingboat, don't you think? But back to our story.
A recent independent study by Spectrum Gaming Group chronicled the epic decline of greyhound racing at the tracks in Wheeling and Cross Lanes. Wagering has dropped from $35 million in 2003 to just $16 million in 2013. Attendance has declined from over 900,000 people annually to just 13,000 (though some in the greyhound industry question those attendance figures).
Well of course they do because you can't argue with the dollar decline so you try to change the subject to how heads were counted. This is overlord obfuscation 101 Mr. Reporter sir. If you've been reporting on the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit for more than a half hour or so we're surprised you didn't see that.
Hall and others in the leadership are working on several different options:
1) Cut off payments to the breeders fund and at some point begin phasing out the subsidy of the purses.
2) Eliminate payments to the breeder’s fund and the purses, but offer a buyout to qualifying breeders. 3) Do nothing.
Hall is among those who believe the industry is fading and the money should be recouped, but he’s not willing to rush a decision. “We do not want to have an unintended consequence.”
We hear you Chairman Hall and believe us, if one of those "unintended consequences" is that the overlords have to go out and get real jobs, we're sure they hear you too.
The West Virginia greyhound industry is divided over the future. Sam Burdette, president of the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association, favors a buyout. However, breeder Lester Raines believes greyhound racing is still viable.
When asked to explain why he thought placing helpless greyhounds at risk of death and injury on a daily basis in the futile attempt to squeeze a few last dollars out of a dead industry, zombie walking to oblivion was "viable," Mr. Raines couldn't really point to any specific reasons, although he did admit that the sky on his planet was pink.
Governor Tomblin, whose late mother, Freda, benefited from the breeder’s fund for years, acknowledges times have changed. “As the wagering has continued to decline, it’s time we start looking at how we continue with this industry,” he said.
 Well, if by "continue" you mean shoot it in the brain, cut its head off, bury it, set the grave on fire then build an concrete memorial on top of that to all the dogs who have died so the overlords could preserve their leech-like existence for another day, then yeah, we're with you. That about sum it up Edward?


My foster mom says I am a real lover. I love to “hug” you. I do the typical Greyhound lean. I love to follow my foster mom around. I am cuddly, friendly and outgoing. I have met cats and dogs of all sizes when I get to go to work with my foster mom who is a groomer. I even live with a bunny in my foster home. I love to go for walks and do well on the leash. I love everybody I meet. I am housebroken. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here