Friday, June 26, 2009

Friday Hound Blogging

Ah, President Hopey. He's really infected the whole country hasn't he? Even the overlords are caught up in the brighter tomorrow mania that swept the country like the Mexican pig fever when we elected our first Muslim president.

Take the overlords in Massachusetts, for example. Last November the good people of the state said bag it, animal exploiters by a 56 to 44 margin. But did that stop the overlords from clinging to the belief that they could prolong their heartless, inhumane "sport" and thus keep out of the job market for a little longer?

What do you think?

First they tried to get the local government to ignore the results of the election, then they tried to get the legislature to delay implementation of the racing ban until Jesus comes back.

No luck.

Now, at this point you might think a rational person would finally be able to read the writing on the wall and accept that in a democracy, majority does indeed rule.

Well, you might think that, but if you did it would be an indication that you do not have the ability to delude yourself to the degree necessary to be an overlord, because now they've decided to try and convince a judge that the whole election was a fraud.

A dog racing industry group petitioned in Lynn District Court for a judicial inquiry into allegations that proponents of last year's winning ballot referendum banning greyhound racing committed election fraud. "We think that if the people had really known how pitiful, and basically useless to society we are, they would have voted to let us keep sucking our trailer payments off the dogs, " said Doug Pizzi spokesman for the industry group Protection of Working Animals and Handlers Especially the Handlers.

"Right now, the ultimate goal is to call attention to the fact that this campaign had some issues," said Pizzi. "And I don't mean the heartless exploitation of innocent animals issue, or the devastating injuries issue, or the the cruel deaths issue. I mean the fact that if this thing goes through, I'm going to have to start working for a living issue."

Right on, Mr. Pizzi we couldn't agree more. After all, we're talking about a vibrant industry here, we're talking about the future, right Twin River spokeswoman Patti Doyle?

UTGR Inc., the operator of Twin River Greyhound Park, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection as it struggles to repay more than $500 million in debt. The facility will remain open as it restructures its debt, although it hopes to discontinue greyhound racing. "We figure if we can attract enough rubes with the slots, we might make it, but the dogs? Got to go."

What? How can this be? How can you say that when the overlords right next door in Massachusetts are fighting so hard to keep greyhound racing as a viable option in a world where there are too few options for good clean family fun?

Besides its debts, Twin River has been losing about $10.5 million a year from greyhound racing, Doyle said. It plans to suspend racing after Aug. 8. "We cannot continue to undertake it," Doyle said. "It's a dying industry."

You must be misinformed, Ms. Doyle. Why, if you end dog racing, it will drive away your loyal customer base, right Mr. Audette?

"I never thought about betting on the dogs," said Ron Audette, a 69-year-old who makes the drive from Fall River, Mass., twice a month to play video slots. "I don't think the dogs make it a big deal."

See? See? He's from Massachusetts, and now that they are getting rid of greyhound racing, he drives all the way to Rhode Island to...uh...not bet on the dogs.

OK, bad example. Help us out here Zipper.

Zip is a very affectionate gentleman. He is a greyhound-mix, with glowing green eyes, shorter snout and a short tail. In his manner, though, he is 100% greyhound (except that his nose doesn’t drip!) Like other greys, he ‘roos’ and talks a lot, especially when he’d like a snack. Zip is also a major love bug and loves to crawl onto your lap if you are on the sofa. He is always a very mellow and calm boy. Zip would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children, 10 and up. He is good with other dogs and would probably be fine as an only dog. He is a barker and will bark quite a lot when left at home. So he needs a single family home so he doesn’t disturb the neighbors. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

EXCELLENT!

Anonymous said...

"POWAAH"? Did anyone ask the Greyhounds if they wanted to "work"?
Insanity.

Anonymous said...

There seems to be three layers of the racing industry. It's kind of like a really bad cake. There's the frosting, with all the twits that try to sound and look good; the really gooey center being the bought with minimum and poverty wages and at the very bottom is where all the bad mix coagulates. And it is here where the cake gets thrown out. No-one will take anymore. It's junk.

Anonymous said...

When you look at your blog from June 12, these people really freak out with Christine Dorchak's name.
It's the Kiss of Death. Keep it up!
God Speed!

Anonymous said...

"Trying to convince the judge that the whole election was a fraud"?
O.K.
Next up, KEN STRAWBRIDGE.
Explain that, , KEN.

Anonymous said...

There is , and has never been ,any democracy in Greyhound Racing. This is exactly why they are trying to switch gears.
What a wad of players. Disgusting.

Slack said...

Please consider this a polite first notice to remove the defamatory quotes falsely attibuted to me in this post.

Please remove these false and defamatory quotes within 24 hours.
Very truly yours,
Doug Pizzi
POWAAH Spokesman.

Anonymous said...

Excellent write up. You have a great skill in your writing ability.

Anonymous said...

Doug Pisser: Please consider this a polite first notice to remove the defamatory quotes falsely attibuted to me in this post.

Please remove these false and defamatory quotes within 24 hours.
Very truly yours,
Doug Pizzi
POWAAH Spokesman.


ME: Hitting a bit close to home there, eh?

Anonymous said...

Ah nuts. Doug's a bummer. Doug don't want a part in the movie. Looks like we gonna have to recast and go for Dick.
Dick's ok but Doug was better.
We can always get Dean.
Well, if we hurry.