Does Spelling Count?

Time once again to look in on that whacky crew of rascals, the republican presidential wannabes and see what hi jinks they're involved in this week. You may remember, when last we visited crazy town, Sarah "In what way, Charlie" Palin was explaining to the gathered masses the path along which the party of Lincoln must travel if it is to once again stink up the corridors of power...er...we mean take a dump on participatory democracy...no...sail the ship of state smartly into the bay of incompetence...ah heck, let's let governor glamorous tell it:

"And there was that media slant this go round," she said. "And unless things change, the GOP had really better can stand together, 'cause we got that on the battlefield also. I call it like I see it and like I lived it on the campaign trail. Not complaining, but dealing with reality."

Couldn't have put it more clearly ourselves. Well, not after an evening of heaving drinking anyway. And maybe some recreational pharmaceuticals. But look over there. Mitt Romney's having an essay contest!

Now, as card carrying members of the educorporate complex with a special interest in language issues, essay contests always attract our attention. We mean, what could be better as a teaching tool? It's got all the positives with none of the negatives! Meaningless topic that has little or no connection to students' lives? Check. Vaguely worded standards and anonymous judges? Check. Competition with nameless, faceless others? Check. Could you ask for a better pedagogical situation? We don't think so. Oh, and cash!

Our pencils are a quiver with anticipation. What's the topic?

This movement isn't about my dad or any one candidate that we're supporting, however. It's about you. And we want to hear what these ideals mean to you. That’s why today I’m announcing a mini-essay contest. A 250-words-or-less answer to the question "What does a free and strong America mean to you?"

Umm...you guys moving to Australia? Hmm...245 words to go. OK, motivate us. What's the prize?

The best submission will receive an all-expense paid trip for 2 to join me in the Romney family seats at Fenway Park for a Red Sox game.

Uh oh. We're not so sure we like the idea of Mitt arranging our transportation. Maybe we'll settle for second place. What do the runners up get?

And four runner-ups will receive a baseball personally autographed by my dad.

Yeah. Ah, that's sort of like having Ted Williams autograph your copy of The Great Gatsby, but what the heck, we'll take a shot. What do we do first?

Contribute at least $50 to my dad's PAC

That's a bit steep dude. What are you doing? Trying to recoup some of your inheritance?