Monday, October 29, 2007

The Senate Will Now Have An Emergency Recess Because The Portapotties Have Arrived

A while back we told you about our own state senator Mike Bishop, Michigan's answer to the question can a boy with no talent and little brains grow up to be a politician with no talent and little brains. Seems back then Mr. Bishop had a run in with a little thing called the first amendment. Could have happened to anybody, after all, who has time to read all that stuff that comes across your desk. There's budgets to be blocked and government to be disrupted. A mans' got to have his priorities.

Well, we check in on the good senator today and see he has moved on from trying to control the free flow of information in a democratic society to setting his sites on people's sphincters.

Senate republican leader Mike Bishop has banned access to all Senate bathrooms. "And it's not just because of Bean Burrito night," said Bishop's Chief of Staff Matt Miner, the bathrooms will be closed until they determine exactly who has been writing "bad things" on the bathroom walls.

"Look, we don't mind the occasional 'for a good time call Jennie,'" Miner said. "But lately The comments have gotten a lot more personal and destructive." When asked for examples, Miner said most were too offensive for the public, but several aides mentioned comments like "Why don't you get off your dead butts and pass a budget," or "Tax is not a four letter word," or "Democracies run on deliberation, consensus and compromise, you idiots."

Assistant Secretary of the Senate Pam Nyquist reported that it was possible that Senate-issued Sharpies were used to write these messages, and "that would not be appropriate." When asked to explain, Nyquist admitted that there was scant legal basis for her opinion, but added it was in the best interest of the legislature "not to let debate replace blind adherence to party doctrine. After all, if you let in debate then people are going to be wanting the facts to back up their debates, then you start letting facts in here and the whole thing goes to heck in a hand basket. Is that what the people of Michigan want?"


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