Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Later, His Room Was Searched And A Large Number Of Fashion Magazines Were Confiscated

We've mentioned before that part of our indoctrination into the role of willing suspender of disbelief was under the wise and benevolent tutelage of the Christian Brothers. Now we realize that to the unsanctified the term Christian Brothers could refer to one of those religious motorcycle gangs, and truth be told, we never were quite sure what the Brothers were supposed to do in the whole church hierarchy, what with the whole brandy making thing and all. Just didn't seem to fit with the mission if you see our point.

Now the priests and nuns, they obviously were major players in the whole papist conspiracy, even if they weren't the most efficient operatives, especially after everyone found out that the tunnels that ran beneath the school connected the convent and the rectory. Before then, everyone thought Father Michael was just flushed with the joy of Christ, but after Sister Angelina was suddenly transferred to a parish in Anchorage, and he stopped being flushed so often, well let's just say we got a whole new appreciation for the term Laying on of Hands.

Anyway, our point is, we've spent some quality time around Peter's flock and in all that time we never knew that the Vatican had a CIA.

A Vatican official suspended after being caught on a hidden camera making advances to a young man says he is not gay and was only pretending to be gay as part of his work. "Hey, you want to catch fish, you got to dip your line in the water," said an aide to Pope Benedict.

In an interview published yesterday, Monsignor Tommaso Stenico told the daily La Repubblica he frequented online gay chat rooms and met with gay men as part of his work as a psychoanalyst.

"Psychoanalyst." So that's what the kids are calling it these days. Well, we suppose that would be Father Psychoanalyst to us, or more colloquially, who's your daddy psychoanalyst.

He said that he pretended to be gay in order to gather information about "those who damage the image of the Church with homosexual activity."

Umm...you mean like clergy who haunt gay chat rooms.

The Vatican said it was suspending Stenico after he was secretly filmed making advances to a young man and asserting that gay sex was not sinful during a television program on gay priests broadcast Oct. 1 on La7, a private Italian television network. "It should be pointed out that Father Stenico is a 00. That means he has a license to sin," an aide to the priest told reporters."

The Stenico case is unusual because he is a relatively high-ranking Vatican official. He heads an office in the Vatican's Congregation for Clergy - the main office overseeing all the world's priests.

Meh. We don't know. Sort of makes sense if you think about it.

In the Repubblica interview, Stenico said he had never been gay and remained faithful to his vow of celibacy. He said he expected to be fully exonerated after a review. "It's all false; it was a trap. I was a victim of my own attempts to contribute to cleaning up the church with my psychoanalyst work," Stenico said.

Yeah. Well how about next time you clean up the church, just keep your psychoanalytic in your pants, OK?

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