How Can We Be In Washington Voting Against Kids When We're In California Pretending To Care About Fire Victims?

We've tried to stay out of this whole SCHIP thing, because, well frankly we're not that big a fan of children. It seems to us they are far too young for their own good, and since they don't have jobs, they're always asking adults for money to buy the things adults are trying to convince them they can't live without.

Anyway, we've been thinking this is just another opportunity for democrats to prove they couldn't pass legislation out of a paper bag if one end was open, but then we read this:

House Republicans are fuming over Democrats' decision to hold the next vote on the State Children's Health Insurance Program when many Republicans will be in California with president Bush staging photo ops in areas hit by wildfires.

"Five to seven members are going, all of whom would be 'no' votes, and [Democrats] know it," House Republican Whip Roy Blunt said. "This is clearly designed to minimize Republican opposition to children. Well, not children, just sick children. I mean poor sick children. Wait. Can we talk about Obama's lapel pin instead?"

At a meeting of Republican House members to discuss the revised bill, Rep. Louis Gohmert of Texas said the Democrats are "taking advantage of a disaster to loot the American treasury. Now granted, we've pretty much finished that job in the last six years, but I just don't want some other cat peeing in my litterbox if you get my drift."

Thirteen Republicans from fire-stricken districts signed a letter to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi urging her as "Teh Cave'n Masta" to postpone the vote. "Members should not have to choose between shafting poor kids in Washington or being in California helping our constituents to get the aid they need to rebuild their homes and their lives," they wrote.

Hahahahaha. "Helping constituents." That's pretty funny. Oh look dear, here comes our Congressperson to stand in front of the smoldering ruins of our house and tell the press he's anti fire and if it wasn't the for the fact that the treasury is broke paying for the war he would certainly vote to give everyone free buckets.


But Democratic House aides defended the scheduling of the vote. Stacey Bernards, spokesperson for House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, said Democrats are affected by the fires too. "The fires aren't partisan, despite what James Hartline says" she said. "We are very concerned for the victims of the fires but tomorrow's vote outcome will not be affected by Republicans and Democrats who will not be there. They sort of cancel one another out. At least the ones that are sober enough to vote."

In a press conference, Democratic leaders announced the new bill will include changes on major issues that Republicans complained about in the last debate. They said it will tighten the restriction on illegal immigrants receiving SCHIP benefits; cap the income levels of families eligible for SCHIP; move adults out of SCHIP faster; and include new provisions to encourage SCHIP families to keep private health insurance.

Republican Judy Biggert -- who voted against the original bill, described the changes as "cosmetic. They're still giving free medical care to poor kids," she said. "That's just not the American way."

Representative Charles Dent, a Republican who supported the bill, said that he believes there will be "some defections, but not many." He suggested Democrats would win more votes if they held the bill until next week. When asked why he thought that way Dent revised his position. "Coming back from a place where all they had to do was act like they cared to actually doing something that proves they care?. Nah. What was I thinking?"

A House Republican leadership aide who attended their closed door meeting said no members indicated they would change their vote. "Each member has written his original vote on his arm with a Sharpie," the aide said.