Oh ye of little faith. We told you a new day was dawning when the democrats took over Congress. OK we didn't, but you don't read past entries anyway, so that's the story we're going with. Anyway you've made fun of the democrats ever since they took over, laughing at them for continually caving to the president, caving to all the feigned outrage at Moveon.org and ignoring the fact that they managed to...uh...they managed to...OK, never mind that, what we're talking about is the democrats have ended the war! Yay!
The House, with overwhelming, bipartisan support, voted yesterday to give the Bush administration two months to present to Congress its planning for the withdrawal of combat forces in Iraq.
Yeah. Hey Cheney. How you like us now, Biotch?
Under bill, the defense secretary would have 60 days to present to Congress plans for withdrawing combat forces and making a transition from a military mission to one of counterterrorism and the training of Iraqi security forces. But the measure would not specify a withdrawal timeline or require the administration to implement the plan.
Sixty days. You hear that. There's a new sheriff in town and he's given you 60 days to come up with a plan you don't have to implement.
Wait. Say that again.
But the measure would not specify a withdrawal timeline or require the administration to implement the plan.
Riiiight. Listen, thanks for coming by. It looks like you put a lot of work into this and we're going to look it over carefully. We really should have lunch sometime. Why don't you have your people call our people and we'll set something up.
Republican leaders dismissed the bill's significance. The staff of House Minority Leader John A. Boehner released a fact sheet emphasizing that the bill would not require a withdrawal of forces. "We thought the democrats were wusses when we were in charge," he said. "Now they're in charge and they're even bigger wusses. Hey, republicans might be crooks and perverts, but at least we're good at something.""
If anything, the bill is simply "a slap in the face to the Left," Boehner's fact sheet said. "If by 'left' you mean the 66% of Americans who want something done about this fiasco Bush has gotten us into."
Many Democrats were not particularly impressed either. "I don't think anybody likes it, but it does paint an important picture: Can we at least get a plan on the table?" said Representative Tim Ryan. "That is, if it's all right with you Mr. Cheney, sir."
Even as House leaders were pursuing a compromise on the non-plan plan, three leading House Democrats vowed yesterday that they will not entertain Bush's war funding request until he dramatically changes his Iraq war policy. "And by 'vow' we mean until the president comes out of the White House and gives us one of those looks again," said Senate majority leader Harry Reid. "He's a scary scary man."