When Cheney Reaches Into His Coat, You Better Be Applauding

Ah, SOTUS day and the question of everyone's lips is...will the liquor store deliver? This has become a sort of unofficial holiday around the marbled halls of IM Central and this year is no exception. Well, except for the fact that we are going to forgo the drinking games this year and just start doing shots as soon as the Escalator opens his mouth. That way as the speech goes on the logic of the president's positions becomes more clear to us. We like to think of it as policy beer goggles, if you follow our drift.

So what does a man who is so disliked by the nation only people who can't read check yes when asked if they support him have to say to us?

president Bush, weakened by his party's loss of power in Congress, will use his annual State of the Union speech tonight to defend his conduct of the war on terrorism and to press for energy and health initiatives. "We figure short of invading Iran we've pretty much screwed up the middle east as much as we're going to," said White House Press Secretary Tony Snowjob. "The president has decided it's time to turn his attention to domestic matters."

Iraq will figure in Bush's speech to a joint session of Congress at 9 p.m. Washington time. The president's aides say he doesn't plan to restate the case he made two weeks ago in announcing his latest version of the same strategy for the war. He will focus instead on arguing for steadfastness in fighting democrats...er...terrorists. "And I just want the democracts to know, in case they're planning anything 'spontaneous' when the president mentions Iraq that the vice president will be armed," Snowjob added.

Bush intends to put a spotlight on areas -- health care, energy and the budget -- where his aides say the public wants action. "If you liked what we did in Baghdad, you'll love what we'll do to social security," said one White House aide.

"It's important to emphasize the areas where you can work together,'' White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said. "We're not going to do that, but it is important."

With Bush's approval rating at or near record lows in polls, Democrats and even some Republicans -- particularly those facing re-election next year -- have shown little sign of willingness to step in line behind the president. "I'd just like to reiterate for those Republicans considering sitting on the democratic side tonight, that the vice president will be armed," Snowjob told reporters.