Wednesday, January 03, 2007

You'd Better Sit Down For This One

Man. To be sure, we're still not...erm...firing on all cylinders as a result of the recent ChristoHanukkahKwanzaHoliFestivis Days, (and mad props to you Sol Invictus) so we're not quite sure which way the ironicus will flow from this little bit of preCongress foot stomping.

In a "Dear Colleague" letter circulated to fellow republicans, three House GOPers are trying to push a "Minority Bill of Rights" -- based on a two-year-old proposal by then-Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-HowUlikemenow).

OK, so has the ironicus reached maximus because the republicans are already whining about being treated like...ah...democrats, or will it become maximus when Nancy Pelosi acquires the Dennis Hastert Wrestling Singlet of Power and lays the smackdown back on the GOP?

Well, before we answer that we need to apologize for putting the image of Nancy Pelosi in a wrestling singlet in your head. And in our heads too. And that's...uh...that's a....OK let's go see what president Bush is up to.

president Bush, soon to announce an Iraq policy, er, change in Iraq policy...ah heck, who're we trying to kid...a policy,
will try to set a positive tone for dealing with the new democratic-controlled Congress, aides said. "The president plans to let democrats speak without raising their hands first, and to make eye contact with them."

Bush is to meet members of his Cabinet--as long as they promise not to say the "I" word--and then make a statement emphasizing his domestic priorities and pledging to work with both democrats and republicans during the remaining two years (which will seem like 20, but we digress) of his presidency, White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said. "And let me emphasize, that those rumors about the president thinking 'domestic priority' meant more maids were needed in the White House are completely unfounded."

Bush will host a White House reception for a dozen republican and democratic leaders of Congress, and their spouses, from both the House of Representatives and Senate. "And in the spirit of bipartisianship, we're going to let the democrats come in the front door this time," said White House Press Secretary Tony Snowjob.

In an opinion article for The Wall Street Journal posted on its Web site, Bush said the change in the balance of power in Congress presented an opportunity to build a bipartisan consensus to fight and win the war in Iraq. Or at least increase the pool of people who can take the blame. When asked if the president had actually written the piece, Snowjob replied that the president had personally sought out the person who used to write all his papers for him in college "so we're about as close to having something Bush actually wrote as we're going to get."

Bush has been studying changes to his Iraq policy for weeks and is expected to announce his new plan as soon as next week. "You can tell your grandchildren you were in the room when the words 'Bush' and 'study' were used in the same sentence," Snowjob told reporters. "This is truly a historic day."

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