Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Oh, And Boyle's Law? Not Mentioned Anywhere In The Bible

Now, see, this doesn't surprise us in the least. In fact, astute reader(s) of this blog have probably left to look up astute in the dictionary...er...we mean may have sensed their fellow Americans slow untethering from reality in previous IM posts like this one, or this one.

So, the defrocking of Einstein the liberal pinko? Not really news here in the marbled halls. Still, the evidence is rather...erm...unique.

First of all there are the "anomalies." Anomalies, man anomalies! Do you know what that means? Of course you don't because you probably went and learned science from one of those scientist guys. All atheists, did you know that? Anyway, the point is when Einstein wasn't busy reading Das Kapital he came up with this theory and even though experiment after experiment had confirmed his predictions over the years, there are still a situations that don't fit the model exactly...so...whole theory's crap. And never mind that the Pioneer anomaly has several explanations, Einstein's theory purports to explain the fundamental workings of the entire universe man, there shouldn't be any anomalies in the first place! We mean, god created the world in six days a little over 6000 years ago. No "anomalies" there, right?

Not enough for you? How about this one: The failure to discover gravitons, despite wasting hundreds of millions in taxpayer money in searching. Now, even a Presbyterian knows that if you look for something and don't find it, it's not there. Plus, taxpayer money! Obvious redistribution of wealth, eh comrade Alfred?

Ooo! Ooo! Here's a good one: Data from the PSR B1913+16 increasingly diverge from predictions of the General Theory of Relativity such that, despite a Nobel Prize in Physics being awarded for early work on this pulsar, no data at all have been released about it for over five years. Oh Yeah baby! Except...ah...no.

OK, how about this one: Relativity predicted that clocks at the Earth's equator would be slower than clocks at the North Pole, due to different velocities; in fact, all clocks at sea level measure time at the same rate. Sure the predicted difference is only a nanosecond per day, but what if you had to catch a bus or something? 

Still not convinced? What are you, a Buddhist? OK, it's time for the coup de grace: Relativity fails not because the guy who thought it up was a Jew, but because of the action-at-a-distance by Jesus, described in John 4:46-54.Yeah, you read that right. We'll see your Einstein and raise you a Jesus. We call it going all in for the lord. Supernatural explanations for natural phenomena FTW!!

Next up: Logarithms, mathematical tool, or sign of Satan?


Anonymous said...

Speaking of not being in the Bible...either was "Sediba" the skull of a 9 year old boy which was just found in South Africa. (And by the way, it's almost two million years old!)
How is Texas going to "'splain" that in their next version of religious school textbooks?

Seeing Eye Chick said...

Technically speaking, from a theological perspective, I am probably one of the stranger people to read your blog and comment on it. That being said, I take great pride in keeping my theological weirdness separate from my science.

Okay for me they can go together like chocolate and peanut butter but the conversation is easier if I just stick to one or the other.

I feel sorry for people who have to hide their heads in the sand everytime something comes up that contradicts a moldy, political document that manipulates the masses via belief in unseen forces.

I am always excited to meet Scientists, and to hear about their work. My favorite subjects right now: Epigenetics. Absolutely fascinating. Most of the people addressed in this current post though would have to reject it because it rests on the premise of evolution and adaptation. You know, things that people who breed cattle, and dogs and horses, and sweet peas have known for a very very long time.

One thing I have learned is that willfull ignorance cannot be cured by external means.

scripto said...

Who ya gonna believe - some dead jew who wasn't even Jesus or Mrs Schlafly's special little guy?

Seeing Eye Chick said...

Scripto! You never told me Phyllis has a penis!

Wow, learn something new everyday!

Anonymous said...

Next thing you know, Jen Krebs is gonna be on with her Greyhound bullshit.

Anonymous said...

CNN just reported that yes, there's yet one more "discovery" in science.
Men prefer bacon to sex.
Tell that to half the politicians.
All Christians .
With prostitutes.
Male and female.

Anonymous said...

As in Jason Wetherington and Bruce Jordan?
Well, seems nobody can even find them, now, in Florida!