Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Blinded By The Science, Joe Once Again Mistakes Donut Holes for Protons

We're coming to you today from the Department of Bovine Flatulence Studies here in the marbled halls of IM Central. DBFS is a division of the Institute for the Advancement of Rice Production in Greenland in partnership with the US Department of Glacier Expansion.

Well known climate scientist Joe Barton has discovered a critical source of climate change that has gone unreported and undiscovered by his colleagues in Climate Science: marathons.

As if running a marathon isn’t taxing enough, runners now have to worry about whether their breathing would violate Obama administration pollution standards and close down the New York and Boston marathons, Rep. Joe Barton of Texas said.'s that Joe?

Under Obama, the EPA has issued an endangerment finding saying that carbon dioxide is a hazard to public health.

Wow. That sounds serious. Let's go read what the EPA said:
In actuality, the USEPA proposed two findings: (1) an endangerment finding, that the six GHG endanger public health and welfare; and (2) a “cause and contribute finding” that the combined emissions of carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide, and hydrofluorocarbons from new motor vehicles and motor vehicle engines contribute to the atmospheric concentrations of these key greenhouse gases and hence add to the threat of climate change.
Hey Joe, they're talking about cars and three other gasses, where's the part about marathons?

Barton says the average healthy adult exhales between four-tenths of a ton and seven-tenths of a ton of CO2 a year. “So if you put 20,000 marathoners into a confined area, you could consider that a single source of pollution, and you could regulate it,” Barton says.

Uh... Joe? You do know that a marathon is run outdoors don't you? Outdoors along a 26 mile course. Comes from that whole Marathon thing.

“Of course, they’ve not really given any explicit examples of harm, because they can’t,” Barton says. “There’s never been anybody who’s been treated in an emergency room for CO2 poisoning. It doesn’t cause asthma; it doesn’t cause your eyes to water; it doesn’t cause cancer.”

Does seem to cause dying though, which is probably why they don't run marathons in confined areas, don't you think Joe?

One indication that the EPA likely would consider 20,000 runners a single source of pollution is that the agency is trying to regulate waste-water runoff and emissions of drilling rigs in oil fields by attempting to define entire areas as a single source of pollution, Barton says. "You explain to me how someone can run 26 miles without hitting the head. There's your waste water and emissions right there."

“The United Nation Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’s most definitive statement is that there’s 90 percent consensus that man-made CO2 is a probable cause of global warming,” Barton says. “That’s pretty weak.”

Erm... Joe. You do know that 100% means everybody, right? For comparison, only 27% of the people identify themselves as republicans, that means that 73% can tell their elbows from a hole in the ground.

“The Al Gores of the world say that the scientific debate’s all over,” Barton says, “Well, we never really had a scientific debate, number one. They jumped to a conclusion kind of ex post facto."

OK we're confused. Are you saying Al Gore is 90% of the world? We mean, come on, he has gained a little weight over the years, but we're pretty sure Rush still has him beat. And if jumping to a conclusion means making up your mind before you get the facts, and ex post facto means retroactive, are you saying Al Gore retroactively made up his mind before he jumped to a conclusion? How does one do that anyway?

Obama seems oblivious to the potential impact on the economy. “President Obama has never worked in a for-profit situation,” Barton says. “His support groups have tended not to be the business groups that really create the jobs."

Well yeah, except for these guys.

The EPA says carbon dioxide endangers the population because worldwide temperatures are going up, causing droughts, Barton says. While carbon dioxide concentrations in the atmosphere have gone from 250 parts per million to around 385 parts per million since the Industrial Revolution, and average global temperatures have increased, no one knows for sure whether man-made carbon dioxide emissions have anything to do with global warming, he says.

Joe, Joe, Joe. No one "knows for sure" about what causes gravity either. Care to take a walk off the balcony of the 33rd floor? Maybe you'll only fall 90% of the way to the ground.

1 comment:

Michelle Young Cuenant said...

It's such a shame Ronald Reagan is dead and has such few followers today who remember what he tried to do and tried to achieve. He would never have been so extreme right to focus on "one God for all people" and his famous line to Gorbachev proved that.
Furthermore, he ,adoring the arts, loving animals, ranches and California , was obviously a man of the land and sea and would have tried to protect both, in air , in health and in conservation, not to mention, keeping our planet " green". How backwards and juvenile the Republican Party has become and those who have stuck with it must have never taken Reagan seriously, even then.
What a crime to Reagan , himself, and hundreds of millions of others, plagued by Alzheimer's, paralyzation, incurable diseases, etc., not to mention denying women equal responsibility for reproduction, or choosing not to become pregnant, at all but, ultimately, forcing Americans to abandon their hopes and their dreams, to not
even think about easing the pain and the suffering, and may I say, all quite intentionally. This is not only hypocritical of the extreme right and their "christian" aggressions, but it is blatantly, ignorant if not evil in itself. For to deprive the nation and the planet of science and education and the very proof of its destruction because of this greed for self-enrichment, bordering on greed and selfishness to other countries, is something Americans are now, horribly hated for. So, they want pollution? They want medieval times? They want to throw the World into complete unbalance?One world under dumb and narcissistic? They don't even care if their children die young or if the World continues at all ! Now , that truly does say something about the Republican Party. And that is probably why there are less than 20% of them.
Let's all get on our knees and be forever grateful for us 80% who do give a damn and speak up for man's fate!