Republicans! Motto: When Losing Big Just Isn't Good Enough

OK we're not political scientists or anything. In fact we're not totally convinced that political science isn't an oxymoron, but still, we're pretty sure that the way to win elections is by getting more votes than the other guy. Now, if you accept our premise for a moment, and look back over the recently concluded quadrennial transition follies in which the republican party was...how to say this politely...first runner up, then it would seem their immediate goal would be to convince all the people who voted against them that they aren't the wild eyed, spittle flecked losers everybody thinks they are...er...we mean first runners up everybody thinks they are.

Which is why, aside from our partially Stolified holiday state, this confuses us.

Four days after news broke that the former Tennessee GOP chairman had sent a CD that included a song titled “Barack the Magic Negro” to the RNC members he is courting, some of those officials are rallying around the embattled Saltsman, with a few questioning whether the national media and his opponents are piling on.

See, this is what we meant when we said we weren't political scientists. Your party loses the election so badly even your dog won't come when you call him, and to start on the long road back to legitimacy you insult the guy everybody voted for?

That seems like a pretty risky strategy to us.

Alabama Republican committeeman Paul Reynolds said the fact the Saltsman sent him a CD with the song on it “didn’t bother me one bit.”

Well, of course not. You're from Alabama. Don't you guys have George Wallace on your state flag or something?

“When I heard about the story I had to figure out what was going on for myself,” said Mark Ellis, the chairman of the Maine Republican Party. “When I found out what this was about I had to ask, ‘boy, what’s the big deal here?’ because there wasn’t any.”

Any what? Any black people in Maine?

“I don’t think he intended it as any kind of racial slur. I think he intended it as a humor gift,” Oklahoma GOP committeewoman Carolyn McClarty added. “I think it was innocently done by Chip. I mean come on. The guy has the IQ of a raisin. He's just not smart enough to be a racist.”

OK, so now we know his primary qualification for RNC chair.

The flap has generated unflattering attention at a time when the GOP is trying to rebuild its brand and reach out to new voters after an election in which GOP presidential nominee John McCain ran poorly among minority constituencies.

"Unflattering attention." So that's what the kids are calling it these days.

The day after the story was first reported by The Hill, RNC Chairman Mike Duncan issued a statement expressing disgust over the song. “The 2008 election was a wake-up call for Republicans to reach out and bring more people into our party,” said Duncan, who is seeking reelection to his post. “I am shocked and appalled that anyone would think this is appropriate as it clearly does not move us in the right direction, which is obviously to find a way to bring back poll taxes and literacy tests. These people aren't going back to Africa folks, we need a strategy to deal with them.”

Some RNC members contending that Duncan may have actually hurt his candidacy with his responses. He just eliminated himself from this race for jumping all over Chip on this, said one committee member. “Mike Duncan is a nice guy, but he screwed up big time by pandering to the national press on this.”

So, the fact that the CD was offensive, racist, bigoted and divisive wasn't the problem. The problem was that Duncan didn't defend the racist bigot who sent it out, is that it?

Man, no wonder you need to be a scientist to figure out this politics stuff.