Monday, September 28, 2009

This Way To The Egress*

OK here's the great thing about America: No matter what it is, whether it's true or untrue, useful or useless, real or unreal we can figure out a way to make money on it. Or, put another way, you'll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

Take this whole Obama birth certificate neurosis for example. Well, just the fact that it's out there and has made it's way into the main stream media should tell you something about the median IQ in this country, but now enterprising semi-medicated wackos have devised a plan to use it to separate the gullible from their social security disability payments. Check it:

A new birther infomercial running on a CBS affiliate in Texas and elsewhere around the country tells viewers a "got a birth certificate?" bumper sticker can be theirs for the low price of $30.

Thirty bucks for a bumper sticker. That's got to be one heck of a bumper sticker. Does it have lights and music?

For a $30 contribution, viewers also get a fax sent in their name to the 50 state attorneys general and Attorney General Eric Holder demanding that President Obama produce his real birth certificate.

Oh, well there you go. That's what you call that there added value. Who are the masterminds behind this campaign anyway?

The program was produced by, a Web site affiliated with Bill Keller, a fundamentalist Christian minister who also hosts the infomercial. Imprisoned in the late 1980s after an insider trading conviction, Keller later committed his life to God, attended Liberty University in Virginia, and founded Bill Keller Ministries, according to his bio. was "founded for the sole purpose of having a site on the internet where people can go 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for prayer."

Yep. Gots to have a 24/7 prayer site. We mean, what are you gonna do, just sit there in your living room and read the bible? No way. You know god monitors the holy sites.

One of the men behind the infomercial is attorney Gary Kreep, executive director of the Ramona, CA-based Birther group United States Justice Foundation. It's worth noting that Kreep is currently engaged in an intra-movement feud with the pioneering Birther attorney Orly Taitz.

Come on. Kreep? The guy's name is really Kreep? And what's his beef with Orly Taitz?

Kreep comes off as a considerably calmer, more self-controlled figure than his Birther rival Taitz. But he clearly feels irritated after being shut out by the mainstream media.

Oh. We get it. He's peeved because she's getting all the attention when he's the sane one. That about right?

"The vast majority of the media doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to admit when they're wrong. They're all a bunch of cowards," Kreep says, praising Rush Limbaugh's crack that God and Obama are alike because neither one has a birth certificate.

Ha ha ha ha! That Rush Limbaugh. He's a hoot, but you can't deny he's also a highly respected, credible source of unbiased analysis and cogent interpretation of the political landscape. So, in advertising we call this the testimonial and it means that all over the country right now people are digging out their coffee cans and rummaging around in the couch to gather up their thirty dollars and play their part in that great American tradition called fleecing the rubes.

God love the USA!



Anonymous said...

Texas is Texas.

Anonymous said...

Is this the same Keller that called Oprah the "New Age Witch"?
Is he ever jealous!

Anonymous said...

Oh man. This is definitely Saturday Night Live material.
Ha ha ha ha.

Anonymous said...

Sweet Jesus in Heaven!
Sweet Godiva in Orange Cointreau!
Sweet Greyhounds from Egypt, Ireland,
Australia ,England, the UNIVERSE!
Oh my Lord. I just read Keller.
It's kind of "greyt" if you have half a bottle of wine or a six-pack, but as it is mid-day, it kind of loses a lot of chuckles in the work pile.
His big enemies are Britney Spears, Dr. Phil and Oprah?
He rants about the wads of bucks delivered to all of them from heathens yet at the same time, can hardly catch his breath with the "by the way, I am in AUDIO seven days a week" at the end of his condemnations of "the stars".
Poor guy. Not a "miracle" after all. Huh Keller? Never mind. You and Beck both need help in the tie department. That may be your "magic".
As for birth certificates, we all know people "are born" and that is important. However, Keller, where were you "hatched"?

Anonymous said...

You know what else you can get for $30 bucks?
Birth control .
Depending on how you use it, that might really solve the problem, particularly in Texas.

Anonymous said...

If they can't even spell, who can read the bumper stickers?
Only the Democrats.
And they already know Obama is from Hawaii.
Like DUH.

Seeing Eye Chick said...

It's a love gift.

Like Herpes.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah...that LIberty University with the founder being Jerry Falwell? He wanted "Champions for Christ"?
Well, there are ten things listed by Kurtzman that he thinks were the absolute "crazies" by Falwell. Just a few are:

a. That the gays, homosexuals, abortionists, etc., etc., helped to bring on 9/11.
b. That Billy Graham is the Satan of America.

It is downright frightening in USA. And that is precisely why carrying guns should be illegal!

Jimmy Carter , who absolutely knows the South, understands all about the racism and he stated it in no uncertain terms. He is white and saw it big time. What do people need to get the picture straight? The end of the world with Yellowstone?

Anonymous said...

Seriously, can we pulleeese set Texas adrift in some unknown body of water. It is humiliating just thinking they are part of this vast and intelligent Nation.
If anything is bringing us down it is people like Palin and racist jerks from the forties who never travelled; never wanted to travel; and never will travel. Texas. That their "The World".
Computers? Just to get you a plane ticket from Dallas to Houston.

Anonymous said...

I'm already "kreeped out".

Anonymous said...

Checked this out and somebody is saying that it is running in Huntsville , Alabama. Someone is so furious that he is going to look into it as a "Fax Scam"?
(I had to check that twice to make sure it did not say : "Fox Scam".)
These Republicans are so exhausting and for what?

Anonymous said...

Still waiting for Rush to be jailed for drugs along with the many doctors that obliged.
That's the "Good Republican South".

Paul said...

The birthers, the tea baggers, the screamers, and the deathers continued extreme minority presence will become tiresome to mainstream America, if it has not already done so. To all the birthers in La, La Land, it is on you to prove to all of us that your assertion is true, if there are people who were there and support your position then show us the video (everyone has a price), either put up or frankly shut-up. I heard Orly Taitz, is selling a tape (I think it’s called “Money, Lies and Video tape”). She is from Orange County, CA, now I know what the mean when they say “behind the Orange Curtain”, when they talk about Orange County, the captial of Conspiracy Theories. You know Obama has a passport, he travel abroad before he was a Senator, but I guess they were in on it. In my opinion the Republican Party has been taken over the most extreme religious right (people who love to push their beliefs on others while trying to take away the rights of those they just hate) and that’s who they need to extract from their party if they real want to win. Good Luck, because as they said in WACO, “We Ain’t Coming Out”. I heard that she now wants to investigate the “Republican 2009 Summer of Love” list: Assemblyman, Michael D. Duvall (CA), Senator John Ensign (NV), Senator Paul Stanley (TN), Governor Mark Stanford (SC), Board of Ed Chair, and Kristin Maguire AKA Bridget Keeney (SC).

Anonymous said...

I did not bother to read this but there is some kind of "memoir" of Sarah Palin's coming out. "Memoir"? "Memoir" of what?
How she shoots wildlife for a lark?
How she is a lousy housewife, mother, and wife?
How she has no idea of geography, politics, or national newspapers?
And talk about passports! We don't even think she knew what one was until two years ago!
If this book is indeed called: "Going Rogue", there is no question at all that the last post is exact . That until these extreme right, "religious" fanatics, (who really have no idea about" God" after all) are exposed for what they truly are, being racists, against "thinkers" and complex unification of all countries in the World, to better mankind, (not oneself at the bank) Republicans will willfully set themselves apart as the bigots, the perverse ,not to mention the moronic "religious right". They will all die a very hard death because everyone else is now, "educated".

Anonymous said...

Jay Leno and Bill Maher reading love letters of Sanford and Foley Argentinian mistress and a "page" are pretty obvious how Republicans look to Americans and the World.
Ridiculous. Stupid. Fake.
(Not to mention, "uneducated".)

Anonymous said...

Well, Al Gore has a quotation and it is something like this:
"Back in Tennessee there is an old saying. When you have the facts on your side, argue the facts. When you have the Law on your side, argue the Law. If you have neither, just holler."
This is the entire philosophy of the Republican Party.
As someone has already stated, they are all monotonous.

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