This Way To The Egress*

OK here's the great thing about America: No matter what it is, whether it's true or untrue, useful or useless, real or unreal we can figure out a way to make money on it. Or, put another way, you'll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

Take this whole Obama birth certificate neurosis for example. Well, just the fact that it's out there and has made it's way into the main stream media should tell you something about the median IQ in this country, but now enterprising semi-medicated wackos have devised a plan to use it to separate the gullible from their social security disability payments. Check it:



A new birther infomercial running on a CBS affiliate in Texas and elsewhere around the country tells viewers a "got a birth certificate?" bumper sticker can be theirs for the low price of $30.

Thirty bucks for a bumper sticker. That's got to be one heck of a bumper sticker. Does it have lights and music?

For a $30 contribution, viewers also get a fax sent in their name to the 50 state attorneys general and Attorney General Eric Holder demanding that President Obama produce his real birth certificate.

Oh, well there you go. That's what you call that there added value. Who are the masterminds behind this campaign anyway?

The program was produced by LivePrayer.com, a Web site affiliated with Bill Keller, a fundamentalist Christian minister who also hosts the infomercial. Imprisoned in the late 1980s after an insider trading conviction, Keller later committed his life to God, attended Liberty University in Virginia, and founded Bill Keller Ministries, according to his bio. LivePrayer.com was "founded for the sole purpose of having a site on the internet where people can go 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for prayer."

Yep. Gots to have a 24/7 prayer site. We mean, what are you gonna do, just sit there in your living room and read the bible? No way. You know god monitors the holy sites.

One of the men behind the infomercial is attorney Gary Kreep, executive director of the Ramona, CA-based Birther group United States Justice Foundation. It's worth noting that Kreep is currently engaged in an intra-movement feud with the pioneering Birther attorney Orly Taitz.

Come on. Kreep? The guy's name is really Kreep? And what's his beef with Orly Taitz?

Kreep comes off as a considerably calmer, more self-controlled figure than his Birther rival Taitz. But he clearly feels irritated after being shut out by the mainstream media.

Oh. We get it. He's peeved because she's getting all the attention when he's the sane one. That about right?

"The vast majority of the media doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to admit when they're wrong. They're all a bunch of cowards," Kreep says, praising Rush Limbaugh's crack that God and Obama are alike because neither one has a birth certificate.

Ha ha ha ha! That Rush Limbaugh. He's a hoot, but you can't deny he's also a highly respected, credible source of unbiased analysis and cogent interpretation of the political landscape. So, in advertising we call this the testimonial and it means that all over the country right now people are digging out their coffee cans and rummaging around in the couch to gather up their thirty dollars and play their part in that great American tradition called fleecing the rubes.

God love the USA!

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