Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Stuff You Know Nothing About, Explained By People Who Know Less

Now, most of the time we can take the foibles of early 21st century life in this country with a good natured nod and a wink. And a tumbler of Stoli. Well, maybe more than one tumbler, but the point is we cope, you know? We don't let it get to us, don't let it get under our skin, don't let it gnaw on our soul, don't let it throw us into that bottomless existential pit from which even the hope of hope cannot escape.

Then along comes something like this and we hear the pillars of our psyche creak and groan under the weight of incalculable despair.
Jenna Bush Hager, the daughter of former U.S. President George W. Bush, has been hired as a contributing correspondent for the "Today" show, NBC said. She has great passion about important subjects, especially education and literacy, and we look forward to having her bring her unique perspective to 'Today.'"
OK, so maybe it's because we are field hands toiling in the vineyards of literacy ourselves that we take this a little more personally than we should, but Jenna Bush Hager opining on education and literacy? Isn't that like having Carrot Top explain quantum mechanics?

We mean, come on. Look who her father is. Growing up in that house had to qualify as some sort of linguistic child abuse, no?

Girl should probably be in some sort of syntactical rehab.

Oh, she's a "teacher" and an "author" of children's books so that makes her an expert on education and literacy.

Pull ease.

We can walk and chew gum at the same time. Does that make us an expert on gymnastics?

Look, we know everyone has to make a living, even the daughters of rich, well connected people who, come to think of it, really don't have to make a living, but is having a "passion" and "unique perspective" on something you really don't know much about really all that's necessary?

And what the heck is a "unique perspective" anyway. What, did she learn to read from right to left? Write with her toes? Speak Esperanto? Hear colors? The whole foundation of literacy is shared conventions, so what sort of uniqueness are we talking about here?

Calm down Ironicus, you're saying. It's the Today show. It's not like anybody takes them seriously or anything. Besides, she's a Bush. She'll probably be drunk or high most of the time and incoherent.

Oh, like that stopped us from electing her father.


Anonymous said...

I'm still waiting for the idiot father to send a billion condoms to Africa.

Anonymous said...

The pillars of our psyche , as all ruins from ancient times, or now blowin' in the wind.

Michelle Young Cuenant said...

Talking about Stoli...(let's forget the Jenna episode) have you tried the Grey Goose with PEAR? You throw in some cubes of ice and some grapefruit juice...to DIE for!
Let me know what you think.
It makes things like Jenna so much more laughable.

Ironicus Maximus said...

We're not sure god intended you to put things in your vodka, but we'll consider your suggestion.

Michelle Young Cuenant said...

Just a suggestion.
" Pear " Grey Goose has just been recently introduced.
Our son brought it over and it was lovely!
Honestly, it is so refreshing and you do get your Vitamin C. :)
Try it.
God intended this.

Seeing Eye Chick said...

Not defending the Bush family by any stretch of the imagination, but...I come from a family that has similar issues {without all the loads of cash unfortunately} so who knows, she could actually be smart or something in spite of her father's genes. That being said, its the political slant she will bring to the discussion that I would be wary of. If she turns out to be dumb, no doubt she will be drowned out by expert dumbies already on the air.

Anonymous said...

You lost me at "Amigo! Amigo!"

Ironicus Maximus said...

We had no desire to impugn Ms. Bush Hager's intelligence. Our point was that if we were the producer of the Today show, and were about to give a national platform to someone to discuss issues of literacy and education, a probationary teacher with only the most basic of training and little experience wouldn't have been our first choice.

Anonymous said...

When life is not fair financially, physically, intellectually, racially, sexually, etc., why are we putting on the velvet gloves for Jenna Bush? Does it "hurt her feelings"?
Let's make life more "equal" and if it takes a little blog saying "some more Republican bullshit"...so be it. Let's be honest for God's sake. She still has a job and not much behind it to produce anything. She is still a millionaire and she still has her health care.
(and always will)