Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Sarah's Excellent Adventure

Whoo Hoo! Sarah Palin got to go on a field trip. We've been feeling pretty badly for her lately what with her being out of work and all. There can't be that many opportunities in Alaska for unmedicated loser ex-governors with commitment issues. But now she's off to China, which, as she informed the press before she left, is a country and not the place where they make fine dinnerware.

Former Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin used her first trip to Asia to attack the Federal Reserve for creating asset bubbles and encouraging excessive risk-taking that hurt working-class Americans.

When reminded that it was Wall Street that created the complicated set of asset classes to get around Federal regulations Palin replied that if the Federal regulators hadn't put the regulations on the Wall Street people in the first place they wouldn't have felt the need to try and find a way around them.

“Of course the little guys are left out then. We’re left holding the bag, all the moms and pops all over America.” Palin said. She also repeated calls for “market-oriented” health-care reform which would leave out the little guy and leave all the moms and pops all over America holding the bag, and said governments shouldn’t regulate executive compensation "because who deserves that money more than the guy who ran the business into the ground?"

The speech was Palin’s first major public appearance since completing a Dale Carnegie home course. People at the event said she she was able to pronounce most of the words in the speech and praised the person who wrote it for her. "I don't think there were more than a dozen words over three syllables," one member of the audience said.

“It was a very safe speech,” said Suyeon An of RCM Asia Pacific Ltd, who left before Palin stopped talking. “Boring I have to say. I was looking for her to bring the wacky, but all she could manage was internal inconsistency. Where's the fun in that?”

Palin, 45, spoke to a full house in the main ballroom of Hong Kong’s largest Panda's Kitchen. “It was a great speech,” Jonathan Slone, CLSA’s chief executive officer, said. “People got a lot of information” and “are now fully informed on Sarah Palin’s views, which is about as important to Asia Pacific markets as the rings of Saturn are to your daily commute.”

Palin criticized Obama’s plan to give the Fed powers to monitor risks to the financial system. "Since I just said this crisis was the Fed's fault, it follows that it would be illogical to put more teeth into their regulations. See how I used that word logic there? Learned that on Star Trek."

In her speech, she called the Obama administration’s decision to impose duties on Chinese tires a “mistake” and said America’s alliance with Japan “must continue to be the linchpin” of regional security. When informed that China and Japan were two different countries Palin replied, "Well, Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto."

“We simply cannot turn a blind eye to China’s policies and actions that could undermine international peace and security," she said. “Chinese forces made our friends in Japan and Australia kinda nervous. China provides support for some of the most questionable regimes from Sudan to Burma to Zimbabwe.” When a reporter reminded her that Burma was now Myanmar, she replied "Oh I think you're mistaken. My husband uses their shaving cream and Burma is still on the can."

CLSA has declined to say if or how much Palin was paid. The speech may augment both her bank account and overseas profile ahead of a possible 2012 White House bid, said Charlie Cook, publisher of the nonpartisan Cook Political Report in Washington. "The RNC has told her she can stay out of the country as long as she wants," he said. "And the Romney campaign has generously volunteered to support her travels financially.


Anonymous said...

Weirder and weirder.
Almost nightmarish.

Anonymous said...

She got her first passport in 2007?
She is in her mid-forties?
A " World" leader?

Anonymous said...

She above anyone else played the race card when she spoke about "real America".
Stay away from "real America" Sarah.
We don't want you!

Seeing Eye Chick said...

Sarah Palin, The Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse. Pestilence, Disease, Famine, War and...
Drum Roll Please: Stupidity.