Thursday, February 15, 2007

You'll Be Relieved To Know We've Just Signed A Non-agression Pact With DKNY

We're coming to you today from the My Boss is a Jerk department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. MBIAJ is a wholly owned subdivision of the What Do You Want From Me? Corporation.

It seems there is a little bit of a dust up going on over who got us into war with Iran by being a total dipwad. Not at war with Iran you say? Ha! What do you know? You're too busy looking through Anna's Death Fridge!

Controversy over a possible missed U.S. opportunity for rapprochement with Iran grew on Wednesday as former aide accused Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice of misleading Congress on the issue. "I have to believe, if the letter had come in a shoe box, she'd have paid more attention to it," said Flynt Leverett, former aide to Secretary Rice.

The proposal was transmitted in May 2003 by the Swiss ambassador in Tehran, Tim Guldimann, who represented U.S. interests there. "I was told to place the proposal in a Ralph Lauren shopping bag," Guildman said. "I never did understand that."

"That is just completely unfair to the Secretary," said an aide. "I can vouch for the fact that she knows the difference between a shopping bag and a diplomatic pouch. Of course if they're both in the same room you know it's some assistant who's going to have to deal with the pouch, but hey she's single, getting a little older, and she just needs to feel hot from time to time."

Speaking at a conference on Capitol Hill, Leverett said he was confident the Iranian proposal was seen by Rice and then-Secretary of State Colin Powell but "the administration rejected the overture. And by 'administration,' I mean Rice, who told us at the time she was speaking for her husband."

Rice's spokesman denied she misled Congress and reiterated that she did not see the proposal. "I can categorically confirm that all the time her and Secretary Powell discussed the Iranian proposal, she never, not even once looked at it."

Undersecretary of State Nicholas Burns stressed there was still time for diplomacy before Iran reached a critical point in its nuclear capability and said conflict with Iran was not inevitable. "But for crying out loud Ahmadinejad, call us, will you? Connie can't even find her car keys most of the time, let alone a letter."

Testifying before a U.S. Congress committee, Rice said about Leverett's previous public comments on the Iranian proposal: "I don't know what Flynt Leverett's talking about. And by the way Senator, that's very attractive tie. Yves Saint Laurent?"

1 comment:

Al S. E. said...

President Ahmadinejad's views are summarized on this website: