News Is A Four Letter Word

It seems the popularity of The Daily Show has caught the attention of the White House. They've brought Karen Hughes back to head up their own fake news division. Not that they weren't into the whole fake news thing before, as presidential press secretary Scott McCllelan said at a recent press briefing that was not attended by fake reporter Jeff/Jim Gannon/Guckert, "Facts sometimes have their own agenda which is not in agreement with the goals of this administration."

In a burst of lucidity, Government Accounting Office Comptroller General David M. Walker wrote to the heads of federal agencies on Feb. 17, saying that "prepackaged news reports that do not clearly identify their source as the government violate a federal ban on covert propaganda."

"It is not enough that the contents of an agency's communication may be unobjectionable," Walker wrote. "They also have to be somewhere in the general vicinity of the truth. At least in the same zip code for Chrissakes. What I'm saying is you guys have to quit making this stuff up."

"Oh Yeah. Like We're going to tell the American public what really goes on around here," retorted McCllelan. "The president hasn't lived in the real world for over twenty years. Why should we?"

'This is more than a legal issue. It's also an ethical issue and involves important good government principles, namely the need for openness in connection with government activities and expenditures," Walker shot back."

"Oh blah blah blah," McCllelan answered. When queried about the legality of the fake news by long time White House reporter Helen Thomas the Press Secretary responded, "Want some falafel Helen."

"Look," McCllelan continued, "Steven G. Bradbury, principal deputy assistant attorney general at the Justice Department, said that the department's Office of Legal Counsel, not the GAO provides binding legal interpretations for federal agencies to follow. And yes I know that's the same Justice Department that OK'd torture and outsourcing prisoners for torture so don't even go there all right?"

Later in the briefing McCllelan announced that the Easter Bunny was going to go on a six city tour to help sell the president's social security reform plan.