Old Men Checking Out Young Girls

We're coming to you today from the Inflated Sense Of Self Importance Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The ISOSI is a division of the Somebody Pay Attention To Me Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Rapidly Sliding Into Irrelevancy, LLC.

It seems the funny hat brigade has noticed Satan likes Thin Mints.

Long a lightning rod for conservative criticism, the Girl Scouts of the USA are now facing their highest-level challenge yet: An official inquiry by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

OK here's our question: Why should anyone, least of all the Girl Scouts care that U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops and NAMBLA Chapter has opened an inquiry into their organization? That's sort of like Regis Philbin opening an inquiry into the level of pulp in orange juice. And here's our other question: Hasn't the catholic church already gotten into enough trouble for messing around with under-aged kids?

The new inquiry will be conducted by the bishops' Committee on Exposing Organizations That Make Females Think They Have Lives. It will look into the Scouts' "possible problematic relationships with positive female role models" and various "problematic" esteem building program materials, according to a letter sent by the committee chairman, Bishop Kevin Rhoades of Fort Wayne, Ind., to his fellow bishops. Bishop Rhoades denied rumors the the Conference had voted to investigate the Girl Scouts after hearing rumors of a redesign of their uniform.

With the bishops now getting involved, the stakes are high. The Girl Scouts estimate that one-fourth of their 2.3 million youth members are Catholic, and any significant exodus would be a blow given that membership already is down from a peak of more than 3 million several decades ago.

Ah, we wouldn't worry about it ladies.

Even with American and Canadian Catholic bishops recently re-emphasizing their strong opposition to same-sex marriage, it appears most of their followers are not in agreement. Among religious groups, Catholics in the U.S. stand out for their liberal attitudes on the issue.

See? No one is listening to the bishops, heck, even the nuns aren't listening to the bishops.

"What they have done is an insult to these women. It's an insult to all women," said Marilyn Antonik, a former nun, 77. "Why are they investigating religious women? Why are they not investigating the ... priests who are harming our children?"

"Hey, changing the subject all the time worked for George Bush," bishop Rhoades responded. "It can work for us too."

Bishop Rhoades leaves the press conference after announcing the inquiry into the Girl Scouts.