In Which Ironicus Throws In The Towel

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know success is only failure's ploy to make you try again and thus keep the game going...erm...we mean know that we have frequently discoursed on the lengths that certain of our fellow citizens will go to elucidate their displeasure that a Black Man is living in the White House. Without, of course, actually saying that the source of said displeasure is that a Black Man is living in the White House.

But this. This is just too much. Even for us.

I'm not one for conspiracy theories. I prefer to base my opinions on demonstration fact that I can point to. However, after looking at an extremely odd photo of President Obama "throwing" a football, I have my doubts that this photo is real.

Yeah. First of all, as a conservative writer for an outlet that--apparently un-ironically we might add--calls itself the Pundit Press, you want to base your opinion on demonstrable facts. "Demonstration facts" are the kind used by radical communist socialist fringe groups like the OWS movement, or the Arab Spring. Read your memos, man OK?

But seriously though, throwing a football? That's the conspiracy you've uncovered? Somewhere in the basement of the White House are twenty Photoshop geeks kidnapped from last year's E3 Expo by the CIA and chained to computers. Fed a diet of Cheetos and Mountain Dew their job is to "perfectly manicure his public image" whenever he throws a football. Dude, they take like 14 million pictures of this guy every day. Why would they pick this one to doctor?

OK, OK. Don't answer that. It's obvious to us the the degree of rationalization you will pile upon your own racism is much stronger than our ability to confront you with the fact that you just don't like black people, especially black people who step out of the nice convenient roles you've assigned them to and, you know, act like they're in charge and stuff.

So you win. We give up. You want to say doctoring a photo of the president throwing a football is part of the ongoing plot by the Kenyan usurper to turn this country into a socialist Muslim caliphate where everyone has to marry a gay ACORN worker and the wedding will be paid for by the 140% tax on the wealthy, go ahead. Fine with us. Whatever.

If you need us, we'll be down in the basement trying to learn to speak cockroach.

UPDATE: The author has backed away from his claim that the photo was doctored, but not from the existence of a plot to turn this country into a socialist Muslim caliphate where everyone has to marry a gay ACORN worker and the wedding will be paid for by the 140% tax on the wealthy.