Dear Mr. President

We understand you are busy with your reelection campaign now, and that the quadrennial notice presidential politics takes of  people who aren't able to write six figure checks is swinging into gear, but we would ask if, between fund raisers and speeches telling us why you are the champion of the common person you might take a moment to deal with the fact that our entire financial system is run by pirates, con men and sociopaths who think God created governments to give them free money when they screw up and Jesus created poor people to pay the bills.

Now, we understand that the reason not a single banker has gone to prison for driving the whole economy over a cliff, putting millions of people out of work and their homes and creating untold suffering around the entire globe is because you never know when you may need to bring another "financial expert" into your administration to help get the economy back on track, but seriously Mr. President you're attacking Mittbot because he spent most of his professional life stripping value out of the economy and putting it into his pocket, but you've got an administration full of little wannabe Mitts giving you advice on how to get people jobs and houses and isn't that a bit like asking Captain Jack Sparrow what he thinks the combination to the safe ought to be?

Now, we're not lawyers or anything and we certainly don't pretend to understand what the Securities and Exchange Commission does, but when someone can "lose" $1.6 billion of other people's money and your Justice Department is all like "Really? $1.6 billion? Man, be more careful next time, OK?" it just seems to us that something a little more, you know, inconvenient should happen.

Well, anyway, we know you've got a full day of campaigning ahead of you so we won't keep you. Best of luck in the fall, although for the life of us we can't figure out why anyone would want to preside over the ruins of this once great nation, unless it's to keep roving bands of refugees from stripping the White House for firewood.

Sincerely, your friend

Ironicus Maximus

PS: Oh, and one other thing, please stop killing children with robot bombs.