The Pope! Motto: His Holiness Pope Tupac The First? Not On My Watch Bucko

Full disclosure: We're pretty much out of the loop when it comes to current catholic doctrine. Totally missed the memo on purgatory, got the indulgences thing all confused and we still can't figure out whether we are supposed to like Anglicans or not.
 
That being said, we have to ask does the pope, like, do anything? You know, have a job description or something. We ask because the dude seems to have way too much time on his hands.

The Pope has warned parents against giving children celebrity-inspired names and urged them to turn to the Bible for inspiration instead.During Mass at the Sistine Chapel, he said: "Every baptized child acquires the character of the son of God, beginning with their Christian name, an unmistakable sign that the Holy Spirit causes man to be born anew in the womb of the Church." He added that a name was an "indelible seal" that set children off on a lifelong "journey of religious faith".

Hmmm...wonder what Cardinal Nasrallah Sfe, of Lebanon thinks about that, or Cardinal Polycarp Pengo of Tanzania, or Cardinal Odilo Scherer of Brazil, or Cardinal Nguyen Van Thuan of Vietnam, or Cardinal Vinko Puljić of Bosnia, or...well, you get the picture. We imagine one of the things they're thinking is "I'm never gonna be pope with a name like mine."

Monsignor Andrew Faley, the assistant general secretary to the Catholic Bishops' Conference, said: "The name is not just a label but it moves us into a deeper significance of what it means to be human as revealed in the person of Jesus Christ.

Here's a little fun fact: Andrew was the saint credited with starting the Greek Orthodox Church. You know, those schism guys. Looks like Andy isn't gonna be pope either.

"Naming children after perfumes, bicycles and countries is putting a limit on their potential. They are not merchandise or commodities," Faley said. "Oh, and on the way out be sure to stop in our gift shop and pick up a St. Christopher medal, or a St. Jude statuette for your den or living room. Also, checkout the closeout price on our 8" statue of St. Francis, always a tasteful gift for the animal lover in your family."

"When I was a parish priest, if I didn't agree with the name I'd suggest they should give the second name of a saint." Faley said. Way to stand up for what you believe Padre. Course, that might also be why you went through 23 parishes in eight years. Just saying.