And The Lord Spaketh Unto Us And Sayeth, "Hope You Like Vegetables"

We're coming to you today from the Fox Muldar Room here in the marbled halls of IM Central. Now, we're sure some of you out there think the world is an orderly place, following the laws of nature and being all like down with fundamental physical properties and whatnot. You probably think gravity exists even though you can't see it.

Foolish person.

Prepare to have your belief system stood on its head. Prepare to question everything you ever learned in school. Prepare for the rapture. Read this and weep:

Does the Death of 200 Cows in Wisconsin Confirm Biblical Prophecy?

Well, of course it does. What other possible explanation could there be?

Some Christians, including online theologian Paul Begley in Indiana, believe the animal deaths were divined from above as a sign the end of days is approaching.

Now, for those of you not familiar with holy stuff, you should know that Indiana is like the vatican of the Midwest, and Paul Begley isn't just a theologian, he's an "online theologian" which is like being the pope of cyberspace or something.

The death of cows, birds and fish in particular seems to follow the prophecy set out by the Bible in the Book of Hosea, and are said to result when man turns his back on God. "By swearing, and lying, and killing, and stealing, and committing adultery, they break out, and blood toucheth blood," the prophecy goes.

Oh we know what you''re thinking. You're thinking wait a minute Ironicus, people have been swearing, lying, killing, stealing and committing adultery since there have been people. In fact god already flushed the whole place once. That apparently didn't work so his plan B is to off some cattle?

Sinner please. You doubt the efficacy of Yahweh's plan? Let's see how much you enjoy your evil lifestyle when you're eating Tofu burgers and drinking soy milk.