Tuesday, January 04, 2011

In Which Ironicus Embraces Excess

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know the true god is entropy and heat death our only release...er...we mean know that a few years ago we considered closing this blog up as the clown car Bush administration was leaving Washington and taking the low hanging fruit this blog specializes in with it.

Silly us. Now, a mere two years later it seems the dam of crazy has burst and the resulting flood may very well make the Bush years look like a misty summer drizzle. Don't believe us? Usually a reasonable position to take, but this time just take a look at what plopped out of the interweb onto our desk on a typical day...nay...a couple of hours we spent immersed in cyberspace. In no particular order of insanity:

Iowa Rep. Steve King wants to make sure five year olds make the right choice between abortion and coming to school packing.
Answering "I don't know" isn't good enough, King says...
On the bright side, at least doesn't get into why he thinks the Muppets are in this country illegally.

Rep. Allen West (R-FooL) wants to keep the Muslins from putting a Burka over the Statue of Liberty.
I think one of the critical things that we must come together is that there is an infiltration of the Sharia practice into all of our operating systems in our country as well as across Western civilization. So we must be willing to recognize that enemy.
West said his first clue that Sharia was infiltrating our "operating systems" was when he flicked on his computer on day and instead of the Microsoft ding he got ululation instead.

Jim Demento thinks the government doesn't need any money because he's been personally assured by the Chinese that they won't repossess the whole country if we default on our debt. "We'll probably lose the part that has people who can read," Demento said. "But I think we can save Texas and most of the south."

Well, as long as we can keep our permanent bases in Afghanistan he'll get Lindsay Graham's vote. "Are we a super power or not?" Graham asked. "What kind of super power doesn't plop itself down in someone else's country and say 'we're playing here now'?"

Booya! Senator Graham. You bet we are. Well, as soon as the sick, the poor and the old die off. A bit more extreme that Michelle Obama had in mind, but on the bright side, the country's obesity problem finally gets solved.

And it's not just at the Federal level that rationality has fled screaming into the night. States are getting into the act as well. Georgia state Rep. Booby Franklin thinks folding money is a tool of the devil.

Arizona thinks if you're white, you're all right, if you're brown, git it out of town.

Now, you might think this would be cause for celebration around the marbled halls of IM Central as we look out on the blooming year and see most of our posts are going to write themselves, leaving even more time to cultivate a fine buzz, but you'd be wrong. Frankly all this makes us a little sad, and somewhat frightened. Sad because we don't like to think that out of 308 million people we couldn't find a few more individuals not in need of serious psycho-pharmaceutical support to watch over and protect this once great nation as it declines into irrelevance, and frightened because there have to be enough other people out there with similar disorders to have elected these guys in the first place.

Oh hang on Ironicus, you reply. It's not all that bad. Democrats still hold the Senate and Obama is still president. Yeah. Like the democrats have done such a great job standing up to the preliminary crazy these last two years. We can't wait to see how they'll do when the republicans bring the full on mega-tonnage of crazy. And President Obama is likely to be...um...distracted.

We aren't even cheered by the fact that we only have to put up with this for five months, because we think, even if these people are right in their calculations, if you were Jesus--a vaguely Arab looking man--would you want to be caught anywhere near these flamers? You think Calvary was bad, try a couple of years in Gitmo.

1 comment:

Seeing Eye Chick said...

I live in a Red State. I have many howling fits into my pillow regularly. :(
It is sad and disheartening.