Thursday, September 27, 2007

Craig's Out Of The Closet. The Water Closet

Full disclosure: On more than one occasion this blog has been pretty easy to write--even after the Stoli comes out of the freezer. In fact, truth be told, sometimes it pretty much writes itself. Which is why we weren't too upset when Wide Stance Larry decided to give up his seat in the Senate and devote himself full time to changing the regulations that govern the width of bathroom stalls so the heartbreak experienced by citizens issues can be addressed. They're the last minority it is legal to discriminate against you know. Anyway, no great loss thinks us, there's plenty of other fish in the sea, or republicans in the closet as the case may be.

Oh, but look: He's baaaack!

A Minnesota judge will not rule until the end of next week on a petition by senator Larry E. Craig to set aside his guilty plea for disorderly conduct. "The courts are backed up," said Ken Bergstrom, a spokesman for the Hennepin County District Court. "It will be a week or so before things are regular again.

"Disorderly conduct." So that what the kids are calling it these days.

“Today was a major step in the legal effort to clear my name,” Craig said. “The court has not issued a ruling on my motion to withdraw my guilty plea." When asked how the court doing nothing was a "major step," Craig replied "They're stalling because they know I'm innocent."

To reporters waiting outside his “hideaway” office in the Senate marked only with a sign that read "Men," Craig said only, “In loo of the judge's decision we’ve issued a statement; that should be adequate for tonight.” Craig ignored a shouted question about whether he would still be a senator after Sunday. "Rumors of the senator's resignation are just so much gas," said a spokesperson from Craig's office. "You'll get the full poop on the senator's plans after the judge rules."

Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky Jelly, had supported Craig’s announced resignation as the difficult but correct decision. "I understand there's been some movement in Larry's position," McConnell said. "But I'm still confident things will come out all right in the end."

Craig pleaded guilty last month to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge after an undercover police officer in a restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport interpreted some hand and foot motions as an invitation for sex. "So I'm a friendly guy," Craig said. "Is that a good reason to flush my entire career away?"

Craig later said he was not trying to send signals in that restroom, and described himself as choosing to plead guilty to make the accusation go away without attracting attention in his home state. "It's all a big misunderstanding," said Craig. "And besides, it's not like I did something that caused the airport to be evacuated or anything.

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