Wednesday, September 26, 2007

See, The Problem With Decisions Is They're So...Decisive

OK, admittedly we did sort of sleepwalk through the last election, although in our defense we have to say that the choice between a raving maniac and Phineas F. Milquetoast III wasn't exactly the electrifying draw everyone expected it to be. Anyway, we do seem to remember something about stopping the Bush war wagon or some such equally testosterone fueled foot stomping, fist pounding chest puffery on the part of democrats. Now it seems people expect them to do what they said.

Silly people.

House Democrats are peeved by warnings that anti-war groups may back primary challengers against Democrats who hesitate to directly challenge President Bush’s Iraq policy. "Oh, yeah like we can do something about that," said one democratic congressional aide. "You need to pass laws and stuff for that."

The threat of primary fights next year reminds congressional Democrats that part of their party’s base demands nothing less than a full legislative effort to get U.S. forces out of Iraq. "Well, if by 'part of the base' you mean everybody with an IQ over that of water, said one democratic senator who asked not to be identified."

Republicans, eager for any positive development regarding the 2008 elections say they can hardly believe their good fortune. "There's no way on god's green earth anyone who can tie their own shoes would vote for a republican after we screwed up things this badly, so sissy democrats is about all we got going for us," said one highly placed republican official.

No primary challenges have yet been announced, but possible targets mentioned by anti-war organizers include five-termer Brian Baird of Washington. Baird, who returned from a visit to Iraq in August saying it is too early to determine whether Bush’s surge strategy will be a total disaster or just an unmitigated one, said he will fight any challenge. “If I adjust my position because reality interferes with the voices in my head, I shouldn’t be in office anyway,’’ he said.

“It’s perfectly legitimate for constituents to express disappointment. But strategically it’s a mistake to go after those Democrats,’’ said Jim McGovern, D-Mass. "I mean it's like people expect us to do stuff just because they elected us and if we don't they're all like 'we're voting for somebody else.' What's up with that?"

“I think everybody’s fire should be aimed at Republicans,’’ McGovern said. “What has screwed everything up is that Republicans, with near-total unison, have stayed with the president on the war. So what do you want from me?’’

Neil Abercrombie D-Hawaii, said the anti-war groups’ threat, coupled with pressure within the House Democratic Caucus to settle for nothing less than mandating a speedy withdrawal from Iraq, amounts to a “recapitulation of the Inquisition. And no, I don't have any idea what that means, I just felt like saying it.’’

Republican leaders are gleeful. “I just sit on the side and have a big grin on my face,’’ said Tom Cole, R-Okla., head of the National Republican Congressional Committee. "Republicans got screwing up covered, the democrats are stuck with being the party of getting something right."

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