Hi, I'm Larry Craig And I Hear There's Some Grabbing Going On Around Here

This whole Senator Craig think really hasn't penetrated the Stoli fog much here in the marbled halls of IM Central. We mean, come on. Another republican in trouble for being the exact opposite of everything he says he stands for? Where's the news? These folks are walking projections, and the Em Ess Em is still surprised by that? Oh well, guess there were no missing white women that day. By the way, where is Paris?

So we're trying to go about our business here, scanning the internetz, looking in all the tubez for places interested in selling various prescription palliatives without the nuisance of an actual prescription when we run across this headline: Craig supporters call for boycott of Minneapolis airport.

Now, we're not exactly frequent fliers, but the last time we checked, unless you're the pilot, you don't get to choose what airport you fly into. But let's let them tell it:

Supporters of Sen. Larry Craig with the American Land Rights Association are calling for a boycott of the Minneapolis-Saint Paul Airport.

We're sorry, did you say the American Land Rights Association? Oh, so that's what they're calling it these days. Not as smooth on the tongue as "wide stance" but, it's your lifestyle choice, go ahead:

The Battle Ground (Washington) based association says airport police who arrested the senator in a men's room sex sting are responsible for weakening private property rights in the West.

At this point one of two things happen to rational people: Their heads explode, or they convince themselves they're reading The Onion.

We, on the other hand, foolishly wondered what land rights in Washington had to do with an old Queen from Idaho playing footsie with a cop in Minnesota so we made the mistake of reading on.

The American Land Rights Association, which has an office in Washington, D-C, advocates for the use of federal lands and against what it calls federal "land grabs."

Ah, "grabs." Now we're getting somewhere.

The association says the airport should apologize to Craig for what it calls "ambushing" the senator.

What? And then federal lands in Washington will be released to strip mall developers? Are strip mall developers gay too? OK, we're not getting this, but who cares? Look. Vicodin, no prescription necessary.